i think i resent my husband

You have every right to resent him. He is advocating for his family diminishing your needs as a birthing and new mother of his child. He is acting like a jerk and at this point I would also set a boundary with him. I mean, how can you trust to be so vulnerable during child birth with someone that doesn't even try to protect you ?
I'm so sorry. You deserve better than these people

Like I do understand the wanting to tell his parents since yours found out. That part I would say is kinda unfair. But I’m also in a position of my first time I had a partner and this time I don’t. And this time I didn’t want anyone to know.
So I do understand where you are coming from.

He does need to be a bit more considerate of what you’ll be going through post birth. But also feel he might be pushing harder for this because he had to wait to tell he’s parents. I’m sure he’s super excited about it.

Men just don’t understand the process because they can’t go through it.

Just discuss making sure his parents get the vaccines they need to get to be around a newborn. And make it a rule that both sets of grandparents aren’t around Bub for the first 3-4 weeks. That way it’s fair on both sides and gives you time to adjust to your new world with Bub in the picture. Then before the dates hit, have a discussion with your husband to make sure you are both ready.

Just what I would do 😊

He should respect your boundaries you have set. But is understandable how it can be unfair on his parents aswell because they want to be equally involved i had problems around making sure i include both sides equally with every scan. With me though i live with my inlaws so they are going to see all the ugly and theres nothing i can do about it. They want to help as much as possible.

The only thing I agreed with was them staying in a hotel when they came to visit. Presumably your parents did the same? And also waited two weeks?
I can understand him telling his parents when you were hospitalised. I’m sure he was very worried and concerned and needed the support. Would have been a bit different if he put a fb announcement and was telling everyone.
Also making them wait two weeks to visit. With mine I was asked to visit the drs surgery the second day. I still needed to do food shopping and the school run ect with my second.

Listen, you’re about to have your legs WIDE open, pushing a little human out of you, vag just hanging all out. If YOU, the new-human-pusher, don’t want to be exposed ….you just don’t want to be exposed. There is zero conversation after that.

Then the risk of having ANYONE around a newborn that doesn’t even have an immune system yet??? Are we the crazy ones? I am confusion.

The answer is no.

Until a man can actually shoot a human down his youknowwhat, don’t talk to me about who can see or be around my child. That’s not being selfish for you; you’re being selfish for you all’s newborn angel.

Again, no more conversation.