In law drama

I’m due early december and in laws live abroad. Initially they wanted to be here for the birth and I wanted a few weeks to recover (and not be leaking and bleeding everywhere). It took a while to convince them but finally they agreed. Then they asked to book tickets now, we said can we wait to decide exact dates til after the birth so we can see how my recovery is going, but that wasn’t good enough either and they had to be booked now. So finally we said how about anytime after dec 23 and MIL didn’t even respond to me but responded separately to husband saying how dare she those weren’t my dates I wanted to come on the 20th. Husband finally said ok that’s your choice don’t come so they’re not coming. Is anyone else’s in laws like this?? Like we acquiesced to everything they wanted (there’s more that they pushed back on that we gave up enforcing) but it’s apparently still not good enough? Do they realize they don’t have unilateral control and they don’t get to set schedules anymore?? Is asking the new parents completely a foreign concept??

in our community

resentment

My husband and I have been together for 5 years with two kiddos.
He has become way too comfortable with everything. During our entire relationship he has cheated on me here and there on dating sites and I always found out. No dates since we had our firstborn 3 years ago. When I tell him, he uses the fact that we can’t put the kids anywhere since we’re not so good with both of our fams. It has never been about the kids or money, it’s about taking initiative. Every weekend he asks me what we should do. I honestly just taught him that I will stay no matter what and I don’t want that anymore. I want to step up for myself. I’ve come to a point where even if he starts doing better for a day or two, I resent him so much that I also just stop putting work into the relationship, he realizes that and goes back to his old ways. I’m tired of this game we’re playing. Everything feels forced. Every interaction. Every progress feels forced from both sides. I know we love each other so much but love does not matter when there is no respect. I don’t know what to do. I don’t wanna do this to my children, but being with him drains the life out of me to a point where I can’t even take care of myself. He doesn’t see that I’m losing myself, and what he doesn’t see at all is that he’s losing me.

Removing screen time

Hey so we’ve now gotten to the point with my almost 2yr old that the tv is on all day and when it isn’t on he will have full blown meltdowns if I don’t turn it on for him, we’re also dealing with a lot of behavioural issues and whilst he is suspected autistic which would explain quite a lot of it I do feel that the screen time may be contributing so I’m planning on removing all screens for a while and then slowly re introducing in more controlled ways (obviously if behaviour goes down hill again it will be removed again) and I’m just hoping to hear from other parents that have done this how did it go and when did the meltdowns stop? x

Resentment struggles

So I think me and my husband are caught up in a resentment battle. He works long hours in a stressful job while I’m on maternity leave. We have a 2.5 year old and a 7 month old. I breastfeed and the new quote has been “you get a rest all the time and when you breastfeed it’s easy you get to switch off”. I’m getting up 3 times a night on average while he sleeps through and I’m shattered. I’ve also been getting comments like “you’re getting forgetful and not getting anything done”. I seem to have a list as long as my arm plus carrying the mental load , doing the cooking, thinking about what meals next for my 7 month old to try as well as playing and spending quality time with them. I understand he’s stressed at work but these comments are unhelpful and feel we’re just getting resentful of the other person. Anyone else in this boat/ am I being unreasonable?

Toddler cousins

Hi! My baby has 3 month old and my cousin toddlers (2 and 6) that go to nursery. He has seen them twice. They are soon to throw some bday parties and I don’t feel comfortable to meet and mingle because of diseases. Moreover the parents don’t have so much control over them and they tend to do whatever they want. However my husband have a different on this as it is brother’ kids. They have been the best aunties but just wondering if you have an advice to juggle this situation.

Screen time

What are your 18months - 3 year olds watching on TV?

How do I get my daughter to eat?

She’s 19 months old and she use to eat very well she ate all her veggies, fruit and anything we put on her plate. I understand she’s adapting her taste now and learning what she does and doesn’t like but she doesn’t like anything. It’s hard at meal times to the point we are giving her snacks to fill her up I know that shouldn’t be an option but I’d rather her eat something than nothing at all. How do I go about this?