Need to talk to someone help 😭

I just kicked out my husband for the last time found out his still talking to some one it’s awful crying this late with ur one year old next to u

in our community

Burn out and feel alone

My baby (first child) is 10m and I’m beyond exhausted. Since he was born I’ve been doing majority of the parenting. My partner says things like “you do it better” and “you’ve worked with kids so I’ll learn from you” all the time, but I’m a first time parent too. He managed to sleep through most of the newborn stage while I was recovering from an emergency section - slept through alarms set to give me a chance to sleep, slept through the baby crying and ME crying trying to wake him up. I didn’t have the energy to be angry about anything so I left it.

Our baby is now 10 months and I still feel like I’m always solo parenting. He’s said things like “take the highchair upstairs” when I’ve said I haven’t been able to shower because the baby is mobile now so I can’t just have him in the bathroom and “get your mum to look after him” when I say I need time to study (I’m retraining and have until Feb to complete my coursework). My partner gets up at 5am to have some time to himself to watch tv and play PlayStation before going to work so that’s when my solo parenting starts - baby wakes between 6:30/7 but he moves a lot in our bed so I can’t get proper sleep if it’s just me and him in there in case he bumps etc. partner goes to work between 7-8, comes home between 4-6 (I don’t mind this- I signed up for being the stay at home parent for now) but when he gets home he’s on his phone or washing bottles (which is helpful) rather than spending time with our baby. I put our son to bed at 7:30 and he usually makes dinner. We watch what he wants on tv, then go to bed and baby is usually in our bed from around 4am (teething currently so a lot earlier than this)

I don’t get a break. Managed 5 minutes on the kitchen floor to sit down and was instantly needed agin to look after the baby. I used to beg him to take our son for a bit when he finishes work so I can have a break but that never happens so I stopped wasting my breath but I’m now so resentful and burnt out I can’t be a good parent to my son anymore and I don’t want my partner near me and it’s killing me. I genuinely sometimes think that if I knew it would be like this I never would have had a child. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried
To talk about how I feel but he either doesn’t look up from his phone, changes the subject, or flat out doesn’t respond when I speak so I give up.

He steps in and takes the baby when I’m at breaking point but I need him to not keep letting it get to that before taking him. Of course this is just one side of it and I’m sure he sees it differently but it’s how I feel and I just need a break.

Ok so reality hit - we did a crappy job

We came to the realisation last night that maybe we have done a crappy job parenting.

It came after our toddler threw a massive tantrums.

Our nursery have been telling us about behavioural issues but at home or anything other setting it never seemed bad.

Like she is not a bad kid.

We recognised she does not listen all the time. But we thought what toddler does.

We haven't been consistent with disciplining her when she is naughty. We have basically survived on distraction technique which is our f up.

So starting today we are trying to make changes to hopefully manage this behavioir.

She is verrrry strong willed. Like I have never seen a kid this strong willed before. And I think that's why we used distraction to avoid massive tantrums

Any tips?

Anger over husband going on work trip

So for context we have a 6mo and a 2.5 year old, my husband has gone to Prague for 2 nights on a business trip. I can’t help but feel a rage inside me when I’m having a hard time putting the kids to bed and I can see he’s out having a nice dinner and having drinks at bars. I suppose I am maybe abit jealous that he gets to do these things, it causes arguments. Is it normal I feel like this?

Discipline

How are we correcting unwanted behaviors? My LO is almost 18 months (10/6) and is already having tantrums. Thankfully they’re short. She’ll lay herself down if she can (instead of throwing herself to the ground lol) or just cry for a quick moment. To me, it’s normal for her age and I try not to acknowledge it so she’s not encouraged to continue for the attention. However, my mom and grandma believe she’ll need to start getting poppings in order to stop them. “If your child does xyz then they’re bad.” I guess I want to use more of a mindful approach in parenting? I’m thinking long term how it’ll teach her that negative emotions aren’t allowed when that’s not true. Idk I just feel like I’m on an island when it comes to this. I want different so I have to do different. I don’t want an entitled child but I also don’t want a child who was beaten into submission if that makes sense. Would love any book recommendations as well