How can I share this with my husband?

I wonder would you feel this way if he stepped up and helped you more to give you more free time? I always say a woman needs turned on mentally and emotionally before she can physically get there. Yes some if us LOVE sex, but when missing the emotional or mental stimulation it's just a chore. So I ask if that might change your opinion on sex and see if that could come together so you are both pleased? Just be honest with him. I bet before kids you didn't mind the sex so much right? Bet he was also stepping up in other ways then too right? Give it a shot!!! Best of luck!!!

"I need time to decompress. I'm constantly in mum mode, weighed down with tasks/thinking about everyone else and I'm not investing into myself. If I'm not investing into myself I'm getting more tired/worn down/resentful towards you for prioritising yourself. I'm not feeling confident, fulfilled or relaxed which means I'm not feeling in the mood for intimacy. Mental exhaustion is different to physical, I'm physically tired too but can't simply exist to mum and work and sleep, I need mental stimulation and wellbeing time. Instead of trying to guilt trip me into sex, why not try putting my time and my peace at the top of your priorities list for a while. Why don't you ask me what you can do to support me to feel more myself? The reality is that your concern should be that I'm unhappy. Rather than worrying about your dick, think about the reason I'm not happy and what it is you are doing to make my life better. Because right now you're making it worse. If you made it better maybe I'd be more interested"

𝕌𝕟𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕦𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕪, 𝕚𝕗 𝕒𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦'𝕧𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕚𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦'𝕧𝕖 𝕟𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖𝕕 𝕤𝕖𝕩, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕓𝕧𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕝𝕪 𝕤𝕖𝕩 𝕚𝕤 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕚𝕞𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕙𝕚𝕞. 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕞𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕓𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕓𝕝𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕩𝕦𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪.

𝕄𝕪 𝕗𝕚𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕓𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕒𝕪,"ℍ𝕖𝕪, 𝕀 𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕖𝕩 𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕞𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦, 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕚𝕥'𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕚𝕞𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕖. ℝ𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕝𝕪, 𝕀'𝕧𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕞𝕪 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕞𝕪𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦. 𝕀𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕦𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕡𝕖𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣, 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕀 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕠 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕕𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕀 𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕠𝕪 𝕠𝕣 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕤𝕡𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕙 𝕕𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘. 𝕊𝕖𝕩 𝕚𝕤 "𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣" 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘, 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕞𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕣 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘."

ℍ𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕝𝕪, 𝕙𝕖 𝕞𝕒𝕪 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕 "𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖" 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕓𝕒𝕥𝕖 𝕠𝕣 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕒𝕕.

𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕙𝕖'𝕤 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕚𝕥'𝕤 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕙𝕚𝕞

My therapist would recommend assertive communication by using “I” statements. “I am feeling tired because I been busy. I need an hour to myself to relax. We can reconvene after. Is that okay with you?”

If he argues or defends; affirm his feelings, restate yourself, and set the boundary. “I understand you are upset. I am still tired, and I need time to rewind. We can still have our time afterwards.”

If he escalates, “I am going to walk away now. I need to calm down before we can have a productive conversation.”

Help around the house so you can have more free time and time to decompress as mentioned by ladies above. Both of your needs are valid and you could try and find a middle ground, a compromise so you dont feel like all you do is cater to everyones needs all day and he feels heard and understood. Also its extremely important to work through resentment, as it is like relationship cancer, slowly killing feelings towards each other. Talk to him about unresolved issues you have with him from the place of love and the desire to be emotionally closer. The key is not necessarily understand and reason each others person, but love and respect each others individuality.

Ps: if above doesnt make sence to you, please dont judge me, im sleep deprived🥱

I guess wat I mean flip it is him saying "that's why I said I'll do the dishes" he has agreed to take on the task of dishes but that's just it it's the task of dishes, not the mental task of the dishes; putting leftovers away, packing lunches, clearing the stuff off counters, washing ALL of the dishes, wiping down counters, cleaning sinks, and even cleaning out the fridge of old leftovers. To some that's not washing dishes, but to me it is. Those are all the things that goes on in my mind to make sure everything runs smoothly. U can't have no dishes in the sink but clutter on the counter and a dirty stove still at the end of the night. But he thinks that him taking on this task is enough for me to rest but it's not.