My husband wants a second child but we are just about managing with the first because of me.
Looking after the baby is the easy part. It's the mental load and taking care of everything else. I'm stressed as hell about finances all the time as I earn more and sort out our finances yet my husband is thinking about baby number 2 when he doesn't have to consider everything else. I am just about coping and this is what is making me think I don't want another baby as I think we could give our son a good life. I'm so stressed I'm getting grey hairs already.
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Men want kids the same way that they want puppies.
It’s all well and good him saying he wants a second when quite frankly he is living on easy street. He doesn’t have to endure pregnancy. He doesn’t have to suffer long term career repercussions for taking time off and out of the workplace for a long time. He doesn’t have a completely different body after growing and birthing a child. He doesn’t have to even provide as you earn more than him! 🤦🏽♀️
My advice is to wait. See if he bothers to better himself. Does he actually want to take the stress away from you by making your life easier or is he just adding to it?
Definitely wait and tell him when you are ready. Truth and transparency is better than keeping it to yourself bc it'll create a wall between you.
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Rant!!
Ok so it can't just be me but I need to get it off my chest or i may just combust.
Anyone else's partner just not seeing your needs as a thing that need to be met anymore? And I don't mean big specific things, but general shit, like showering and having 5 minutes of not being touched. My LO will be 5 months on sunday and it seems as thought as long as i see to what he needs and the baby and the dog and house fuck what I need. I have litrally just said to him tonight I really want to shower and feel fresh, baring in mind I haven't showered in like 4 days (litrally a sink wash when I have 30 seconds) and the response was ok. He then went and showered after I bathed our LO and settled her to bed. Now 10pm, I still haven't showered!!
I dont know how much more I can take. I do everything, all the time and I get he is at work but I just want like 5 minutes without worrying about the LO to go have a second to myself and see to a basic need.
I dont think he grasps that he basically just goes and does what he wants, when he wants and how he wants whenever but I have to constantly ask him to watch her or do somwthing so I can meet my own basic needs like eating, or on the rare occasion lately shower. Like ffs. I really don't think I can take much more. I feel like I might as well be trying to do it all on my own because I pretty much am anyway!
Please someone tell me it gets better.
Update...
We chatted last night, though maybe on a more frustrated side than me... in his defence he is also autistic (he doesn't always notice things clearly and needs a reminder) but its not the first time we have had this discussion. For those saying to leave, I wouldn't, not over this. Generally he is a fantastic dad who is doing his utmost best to connect with our LG. It hasn't been a easy ride with hospital stays etc but he is always trying, he just doesn't always see when I have reached my limit on the days he's working and need to take some time to myself. He apologised again... and I accepted that and explained sometimes I just need a break without having to feel like I need to ask permission to see to my own need. Generally he is fab at bringing me drinks and food when I am feeding her and everything, I couldn't just write him off now because I was in a mood and struggling with a general blip. Thank you for all the kind comments though. I think I just needed to not feel so alone last night 🙃
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Autism diagnosis
Hello, recently my daughter who is almost three years old got diagnosed with autism a couple weeks ago. We are still waiting on the summary report from the doctors office to be sent over so I am not sure on the level that she is. I can’t reach out for help either for a few more weeks. She’s been in early intervention for two years and progresses very well. I been grieving the diagnosis and a lot of people can’t understand unless you are the parent going through it yourself. The doctors office wants to see her in 8 months to see how she progressing in pre k. I see a lot of people saying it’s Nero and you can’t grow out of it but my doctor said she misdiagnoses all the time and they have to put it in writing so it doesn’t come back on them. She thinks since my daughter is at a young age that is plenty of time for growth & progress and I just wanna get all of the help I need but it’s hard because I don’t know what I’m doing and this is all knew to me. (She was flagged for social skills and speech delay-also sounding out her words correctly) Any suggestions and support would be appreciated 🤍 this is Kinsley Elaine she’ll be 3 December 23rd and she LOVES baby shark finger puppets
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Advice needed
Me and my partner live with his mom and his little sister who both always get ill around the end of october and im due on halloween with my first. His little sister does not cover her mouth when coughing or sneezing and his mom is demanding first cuddles with our baby boy when he comes home after being born however she gets ill faster then anyone else in the house and stays ill the longest and his little sister has a habit of walking around the house with ger phone on full volume screaming and shouting when playing games with her friends whilst only being 8. I dont want her waking up the baby when he is down for a nap and she has the worst attitude and my partners mom doesnt do anything about her screaming or when she has attitude so me or my partner ask her to quiet down and have explained that when the baby is here she can not be going round the house screaming and shouting yet she is still screaming at full volume and refuses to do as she is told by me my partner or their mom. What advice does people have for me about protecting my baby from illness and what can i do about my partners sister screaming and potentially waking the baby once he is born. Also my partners mom has already said that people will be coming over and they will all want to see the baby but me and my partner dont want him passed around like a parcel. Any advice for that will be great.
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Holiday
Just booked our first family holiday. Baby will be just about to turn 3 months when we fly.
I EBF so don’t need to worry about packing formula. What do I need to make sure I pack? Any advice?
Best travel pram?
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Baby daddies
I'm so over men!!😭 This man had the nerve to tell me I should have enough common sense to tell him when I need something. But when I did he didn't do anything and then when I'd say I'm not feelin good he would say "Oh hope u feel better" I'm so numb, struggling how to handle things.
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Does anybody else feel there partner has become a great dad but terrible life partner?
For context we have a 7 month old and have been together for almost three years I only ask because I ask myself every single day what I should do whether that means breaking up or staying together like this man just every day pisses me off, pisses me off like he makes life a living hell sometimes and I try to see through the bad and look for the good, but I don’t know if I should be doing that you know?
Let me know how you handle seeing the good over the bad cause i know there is more good than bad but GOD DAMN he is annoying.
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