Resentment for husband

Hi please can someone relate or give me a word of advice? I am a mom of 3 under 3 and live in the UK since 5 years so I don't have many friends yet like my husband who grew up here and has his family here too. It might be a little exaggerated but I feel like so often he has someone to invite him to go to the pub at night (men evening), to stay out til 2 AM dancing (with his mates in a men only event) and just now today he is out with his sister all day cause she took him to Thorpe Park for his birthday (delayed) and they're having a blast. Besides that he goes to the stags of his friends and to their weddings too. Because we have 3 little ones it's very hard or impossible to leave them with a babysitter in order for me and my husband to go out together for the day and his mum takes them every now and then but it wouldn't be enough time for us to travel as long as he can if I am with the kids. As well, even though he said that he is more than happy to stay with the kids so I can go out and have fun with my friends it's not possible because here the problem is that all my friends are basically my husband's friends' wives who also all have children but they are not fans of adult fun such as going out, doing something active or crazy, they only ever really meet up together with their little ones and are happy with being a mom 24/7 whereas I feel grief for the youthful spirit inside me. I am only 23 and don't feel settled at all. Inside I feel like I want to dance all night through, I want to drink, to chat about hilarious things and laugh, to go on rides with my friends or even husband and feel so stuck and sad.

It's not my husband's fault but literally every time he is out like Today the day starts by me being happy for him from my heart and by the end of it feeling lots of resentment and cold towards him because I feel reminded of something that only he can have...

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I can understand your feelings I get like that sometimes and you are so young so you must feel like you missed out a bit !! But all I can say is the kids won’t be young forever it will get easier in a few more years in the sense of being able to leave them for longer periods or at night , so don’t feel your life is over or missing out , it’s just on pause 🥲❤️

1. I think you should really communicate this to your husband, it’s great that he is happy to stay with the kids so you go out but he should also work on all these events he goes to without you. If there is a wedding abroad you really want to go to it’s either you both go for 2 days or no one goes. You shouldn’t be the only one sacrificing. I know a lot of couples who do that.
2. You really need to find friends who are your age and have similar interests it doesn’t matter if they don’t have kids, you strictly go out with them to have your you time!!
3. Kids are not gonna be small forever and you will have lots of fun later when they are older and you will still be young and have all that energy in you so just embrace every stage of life!!

I feel like you need more friends. You need to find friends who either don’t have children or
Have older children and who like to go out.

Use this app to make friends put in your description what your hoping to do (dancing drink ect) I love meeting up for play dates but nooo one ever suggests drinking and (when I’m not pregnant) that’s what I want, friends I can just be me with not on mummy duty.
Also don’t forget you can do things alone. Go for lunch alone leave the kids with your partner, I’ve done it and it was scary at first but as soon as I sat down I felt better, no one cares.

Sounds like you also realllyy need to find a baby sitter who will have all 3, sounds like your partners the party type like you and it sounds like you two would have so much fun if you went out together. I know it’s hard though I have a four year old and she’s only ever been away from me for one night. The village doesn’t exist for many of us.

in our community

Is anyones husband/ partner actually stepping up post baby?

On Instagram your seeing all these post about husbands doing all the cooking, cleaning, food shop and looking after the other kids and allowing you to sleep, rest and focus on caring for the new baby..

Is this even possible. My husband helps but im still doing everything like usual. Im cooking all our meals, mowed the garden yesterday, hoover daily wash and hang the clothes outside. He is making our toddlers packed lunch for nursery and does the food shop but other than that everything is our usual. I havent had this waited on hand and food situation I see on socials 🤣😅😬

Would you be annoyed?

So both me and my husband had our friends round last night for a few drinks, I’ve been feeling unwell for a few days but just powered on like I do everytime I feel a bit rough.

Today I’ve woken up really unwell high fever, being sick, hot and cold shivers and a swollen throat. I was up with my son 2.5 years old from 6am and I let my husband lie in he came out around 930am and I then took myself back to bed as I’m crying feeling so unwell. All I can hear is him saying to my son go find mummy I’ve just looked in the room and he’s lying on the sofa falling asleep whilst my son sits with him just watching tv. I know my son is going to be a nightmare later as he’s not bothered to give my son a nap. But he’s just lying there either on his phone or closing his eyes.

I feel so unwell I haven’t got it in me to go in and just take my son and sort everything myself. When my husband is unwell I make sure I do everything and give him a break. He goes off to play golf every weekend for around 8 hours I’m always with my son and I don’t get a break . I do everything with my son but he makes out he’s amazing and does so much with him. I think he’s only ever taken him out on his own twice in his life I’m always there to organise and do everything

Boring.

Having to ask permission from my partner to go have a bath on a Sunday is insane. Yet he walks out the house when he likes to go smoke or plays on his laptop when he likes without a care in the world.

Told him to put the baby on the playmat so he can kick around his answer well all he does is cry and I hate the sound of him crying. It’s consuming…

Bear in mind football is on at 4:30pm and I’m gonna have to cook dinner and do bedtime routine.

Sorry just need a rant.

Am I in the wrong

Me my partner and 2 kids (aged 1 and 4) have gone out for the day, the kids were getting grumpy as there hungry. I said we need to get food and he was just walking around in circles not getting food. So we get to a Tesco and I said I’m grabbing the kids a meal deal each and again he’s just walking around Tesco not a care in the world so he said he wanted cereal bars we find them I said what ones and he had a go at me and storms out the shop and then we get into the car and he starts shouting at me saying I’m the reason he’s not home much.

But all I’ve been saying is the kids need to eat as there hungry.