Motherhood has made my life miserable. Will it ever change?

Please know that what you are experiencing—extreme burnout, deep grief for your previous life, and intense resentment toward an unsupportive partner—is very real and heavy. When you haven't slept a full stretch in eight months and have zero time to yourself, it is entirely natural to feel like your life has been derailed and to question your choices. You are carrying a load that was never meant for one person to bear alone.
Your feelings do not mean you are failing; they are a sign of profound exhaustion and a lack of support. If possible, please try to have an honest, direct conversation with your partner about how unsustainable this is, or lean on any trusted family or friends nearby to give you even a short break to rest. You deserve rest, relief, and a partner who steps up.

I know how you feel. I’ve felt this way several times. It’s hard, very hard sometimes. I don’t know what may help your baby, but for me, as soon as we moved her out of our room at 8 months, she slept through the night. Idk where your baby is sleeping, but maybe try this? Also, ask for help, ask for breaks. If your partner does not give you this, then he’s not the one. I have 2 older kids (18 and 16) and a 1 year old. And the 1 year old has been so hard, she’s 16 months and I still cry every now and then. Hang in there!

It will get better. Not sleeping through the night is normal, esp for breastfed babies. Mine is 2 (will be 2.5 in Dec) and still BF, still wakes up at night. At around 6-8 months i fought to get him to nap alone. He is a level 50 clinger, and one thing I wish I had done was be intentional about my me time, and be strict about schedule.

It wouldve made things sooo much easier. His dad has increased his distance so i dont have his help at all. My sis helps sometimes but i rather it be mainly me, than have an unhelpful person around every day

I have felt similarly to what you’re describing and that’s with the most supportive partner, so I dread to think how it feels when you haven’t got that back up. Im so sorry 😞
Can’t speak on behalf of an unhelpful baby dad, but if it helps at all just know things do get easier as the baby gets older. Then it turns into more ebs and flows of highs and lows. But I now have a lot more free time and head space. My daughter who never slept has finally started doing really long stretches and things feel a lot lighter and the resentment lifts to a point where I don’t miss my old life. Hope this gives you a bit of encouragement. But do speak with your partner it shouldn’t have to feel this heavy 🩷