Mat pay / financial worries
Looking for some support really. I’ve been on mat leave since March, of which I got 6 months full pay which has now ended. I know so many people don’t have this and I am so grateful for it. I’m now on stat pay which runs out mid December, then the £0 kicks in.
I earn significantly more than my partner, and I just feel like I’m paying for everything for the baby, and I don’t know what to do when my money runs out. I had savings to top up my stat pay, but after that, nothing.
He’s a fantastic partner and dad to our baby, he works 12 hour days plus overtime, yet I still earn more. We’ve stripped our outgoings right back, but an example is it costs him nearly £400 a month on fuel just to get to work. There are no jobs doing what he does closer to home right now, he’s a tradie with a particular skill set. We don’t do anything special, even just the cost of food and essential bills is astronomical 😢
I just feel so overwhelmed with all the financial burden being on me. I do have a job to go back to, but because I moved across the country whilst pregnant I realistically can’t go back there because it’s a 400 mile round commute. So I’m also trying to find a job to start in January but it’s proving so difficult.
Just needed a rant really. Why does having a baby only financially burden the woman. Also being the one that earns the most sucks. 😭
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I get this, Im a teacher and I didn't do shared parental leave so I've been on smp since August. I also earn the most so I've really struggled feeling like im not pulling my weight financially x
If you can't go back to your job that paid you full pay for 6 months, won't they make you pay that back? I'd have had to pay any enhanced pay back if I hadn't gone back to my job!
I wish I’d had 6 months at full pay 😢🤦♀️. I only had 6 weeks at 90%, then I’ve been on SMP since and it’s hard, we earn the same and I put as much as possible into saving before I finished but it’s just so hard, my husband has been really unwell the last 2 weeks but hasn’t been able to take a day off to rest as we can’t lose the money 😢.
Everything we have goes on essentials and we can’t justify spontaneous evenings or days out, sometimes I feel guilty grabbing coffee with a friend!
The way I’m trying to look at it is, it’s not forever and my little one is my reason.
I’ve started selling some bits on Vinted to help bring in some extra pennies.
You got this mumma 💕xx
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I have a two month old and his dad who lives 2 hours away wants him overnight like a week or 2 I told him I don’t feel comfortable with being far away from my baby for a week or even longer his dad is calling me selfish and controlling he is also saying that his family haven’t got to spend anytime with the baby either (they have just not as much as they want) am I being unreasonable? Would any one else send their 2 month old 2hrs away for a week or 2 ?
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Could someone explain the UK school system to me please?
I'm not from the UK but I asked my husband who grew up here and went to school here and everything and he also seems confused.
My kid is at nursery but I'm really confused about all the options after. There seem to be preschools, but some nurseries are also preschools, some people talk about kindergarten from 3+ but I think they are American. Then there's reception and year 1 and maybe some other things I didn't mention.
I read a thread about kids born in the summer months and that they can be held back. I'd like to do this with my kid but from what people said, it's not as straight forward. Several people said that if you hold them back a year, they would just start in y1 instead of reception, which I don't understand. They said there are only downsides because the kid would no longer be with their peers. A mum friend of mine has been talking about sending her kid to school once he turns three and that she can't wait to be done with nursery.
I'm just so confused. When I grew up in a different country, all we had was kindergarten from 3 till 6, then school. There was an option of going to preschool for those old enough for school but not mentally or physically ready yet. That was it. I think it had now changed there as well though.
If anyone could explain all this to me, I'd be super grateful!
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Does anyone else have a higher percentile boy?
I don't know who to share it with, because I don't want to come off as ungrateful for such a healthy, big boy.. but my son is now 2 and a half, and officially 92% in height, and 94% in weight. He was born at 21 inches, and has always been in the high 80-90% range for height, weight, and head size.
It's just.. it's hard. He's 2. He's still waiting to be held all the time, and it was starting to be a struggle to hold him starting around a year old. It's not fair to him. I feel guilty. He didn't understand why I would have to put him down so quickly when he was younger, and I hope it didn't make him feel like I didn't want to or something.
It's a weird situation that none of my friends can relate to.
Does anyone here relate?
Thanks for listening 💕
(Adding that I have used baby carriers, hip packs, etc. He doesn’t like them.)
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When you're trying to learn digital painting...
But your 3 year old decides to dictate what you draw.
Do you know what each one is? Because he does 😂
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Mat pay / financial worries
Looking for some support really. I’ve been on mat leave since March, of which I got 6 months full pay which has now ended. I know so many people don’t have this and I am so grateful for it. I’m now on stat pay which runs out mid December, then the £0 kicks in.
I earn significantly more than my partner, and I just feel like I’m paying for everything for the baby, and I don’t know what to do when my money runs out. I had savings to top up my stat pay, but after that, nothing.
He’s a fantastic partner and dad to our baby, he works 12 hour days plus overtime, yet I still earn more. We’ve stripped our outgoings right back, but an example is it costs him nearly £400 a month on fuel just to get to work. There are no jobs doing what he does closer to home right now, he’s a tradie with a particular skill set. We don’t do anything special, even just the cost of food and essential bills is astronomical 😢
I just feel so overwhelmed with all the financial burden being on me. I do have a job to go back to, but because I moved across the country whilst pregnant I realistically can’t go back there because it’s a 400 mile round commute. So I’m also trying to find a job to start in January but it’s proving so difficult.
Just needed a rant really. Why does having a baby only financially burden the woman. Also being the one that earns the most sucks. 😭
1
5
i guess i’m looking for validation
My daughter is 6 weeks tomorrow. we have been dealing with colic for the last 4 weeks because of her formula. thankfully we figured it out about 2 weeks ago. but the witching hour still hits pretty hard in our house. anyway, i have a 2.7yo toddler. my daughter usually cries nonstop from 6:00-9:00pm. my sons bedtime is 8:00pm and we do a nighttime reset at 7:00pm every night. my husband works night shift and leaves at 6:30pm. i babywear my daughter while my son helps me clean up. at 8:00 i put her down in a safe location and do my sons bedtime. i take him to his room, read him a book, sing the “now i lay me down to sleep” prayer. then sit for a second. then go back downstairs to my daughter. during this time she is of course crying and downstairs alone. i feel like such a sh*t mom. but this is literally the only time my son gets me to himself. so am i really a sh*t mom for this or am i just in my head?
5
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