Mother in law advice...

I’d love to have some random woman buying me stuff for the baby. But obviously you want more control. I just saw an article that not being close to your mother in law as a woman decreases your risk of divorce. Being too close could mean you don’t have good boundaries and become resentful I guess. Women often get stuck in these people pleasing roles.

I'm a bit of a peacekeeper and with my first I ended up just accepting what was bought but buying my own things that I wanted, if the things bought weren't to my taste I just gifted them on to friends or charity, a couple of things I suggested they keep at theirs if we already had. I just figured it's them wasting their money not me, I got the things I wanted and kept some of the things I wasn't fussed about.
I know not everyone's ideal scenario but it stopped any fall out.
I did also try to include them as much as possible such as pram shopping and asking for name suggestions which helped as I think the gathering of stuff was trying to be involved/help in their own way x

Best way to handle situations like this or even christmas/birthdays when people buy gifts you dont really want/need is to say 'Thankyou! This will be great to have at your house to use when we visit'. Then just leave it at that and change the conversation. If they try to bring it to your house or send you home with it, either leave it there "by accident" or just politely refuse and say you already have something similar/have no space for it but it would be great to have at their house so you dont have to cart stuff around with you. Eventually they'll get sick of getting lumbered with all the stuff they keep buying and stop. We've had lots of family try to offload clothes/toys they don't want without asking first and I just ask them straight up what they want me to do with the ones we dont want, either donate them or give them back. People usually take the hint without you having to offend anyone. Its your baby, regardless of how many children/grandchildren she has, she has to accept that what you say goes.

I had the same thing when I was pregnant, I was grateful for everything she got us, but was upset I didn’t even get to look around and what kind of travel system I wanted before she bought us one x

I honestly see this as a bit of a none issue ? Like you can just take it and not use/resell it and just get stuff you actually want. Or simply say thanks but we already have all this and will just add clutter to our home and that's it.

In terms on how to handle things with her I personally think is for your husband to do it. Just talk to him about how to handle this set something you are comfortable with him and have him handle convos with his mum and that's it.