Ofstead inspection
If your childminder requested your child didn’t attend during an ofstead inspection because ‘less kids are easier’ and then proceed to ask for a review to show the ofstead inspector, what would you do?
I’m thinking why would I write a review for you to show the very people you can’t seem to take care of my child in front of…
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I would be messaging ofsted directly explaining what shes requested of you
It's a red flag absolutely that she's asked you to not have your child attend when Ofsted comes.
Not saying your child does but if your child is SEND this is especially worrying.
I'd be contacting Ofsted with evidence of her asking you of this and also ask her for further clarification on why it is your child is being asked not to attend, and to not have the answer be about ratio.
It could also be that your child is making her out of ratio therefore not to standard with Ofsted which is a safeguarding issue.
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Drained
Hey guys I’m currently married and I strongly believe he’s a narcissist, I’m posting this to see if anyone has been in a similar situation. I have no job or car and no family. We have a 1yr old together . I don’t know how to leave
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I’ve lost attraction to my husband
Like the title says, I’ve lost attraction to my husband. His mom is constantly buying him clothes and frankly I see my husband as less of a man and not an adult because of it. I find it rather gross that she is constantly buying him clothes when he has perfectly good clothes and a wife that can go buy some if needed
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Should I just leave it be?
Buckle up this is a long one.
Okay so boom, I married the guy that ended up being my first “real” relationship and sometimes I feel like I folded too quick. Hear me out, the guy is my best friend, we have the most adorably amazing baby and for the most part things are good until they aren’t. We seem to get along only when there’s jokes and silliness but as soon as I voice something that bothers me or future plans, suddenly I’m not exactly an enemy but he’s going to do anything to get out of the conversation. We’ve been arguing about the same issues in different fonts since we got together. He always apologizes but then there’s never any action behind it so now I just tell him I don’t care for an apology because it feels like to me the sorry is just a wet bandage over the situation and means nothing because he’s going to do it again. His cop out is that he has adhd and he forgets but dude is 2 levels away from being the highest non-executive role at amazon so like why can you put your all into that but not into your home life?
Some backstory, when we met (feb 2020 right when lock down started) I was going through it and 8 weeks into talking, I texted him that I unfortunately wouldn’t be able to pursue a relationship with him because my family was screwing me over and I had a month or less to find housing with no money because family had been charging me rent during covid which was my savings. (There’s more to that but just know that I had come from NYC to the Bay Area) and then got scammed by family. He offered for me to move in with him and his family and having nothing else I agreed after he and I sat down with his parents because of how fast we were moving. Fast forward, I move in and we both start working for amazon, things are good. I’m the type of person to do the most when I’m in other people’s spaces. so this house was always spotless, I cleaned up after both of us and the bathroom everyone used. When I cooked, I cleaned etc. before then his mom was doing all of that including folding his clothes (bro didn’t know how to fold a shirt when we met, he was 22) fast forward some more, we’re a couple years into our relationship and I’m still holding up the fort but we’re taking about the future and stuff so I tell him that for when we move out he’s going to have to learn how to do these things and be a little more domestic, I’m also doing most of the shopping for us like shampoo, soap, lotion toothpaste, and I noticed he was self conscious a lot so I bought him new clothes and shoes and cologne because gift giving is my love language. This is where things start going downhill, his mom doesn’t like that he’s being an adult and starts talking about me to him behind my back about how I’m making him cook and clean??? Never said a thing when I was doing it the previous 3 yrs. She started saying things out of pocket to me for example, after I confided in her about what I was going through with my family she asked me if I was worried that if something happened to her son that I would have no one, after I had voiced that I didn’t trust that her son wouldn’t jump out of a flying plane and risk his life for no reason after he lied about a plethora of other things in the past that she also knew about. She was more concerned that I had access to his phone and not that her son had been cheating on me and lying.
This is probably when you call me stupid for staying with him because what do you mean he cheated and lied and his mom treats you like that. Yea Idk either, my excuse was that I gave my family so many chances so it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t give him the same? Moving right along, to this day me and his mom did not get along very well. So no we’re having more prevalent issues, and I keep telling him that his actions are making me not want to be with him and I’m trying to be understanding but like come on. So after saying he wants to get married and move out and start a future, he starts saying that he’s worried about getting married because I keep threatening to leave…? Accountability out the window I guess… moving forward some more I start bringing up moving out. We’re 3+ years into living with his family, we both have good income and we spend more money on 150 gallon fish tanks than it would cost to get a studio. He’s combative about it because we don’t have the money, I say it’d be the betterment of our relationship because of his mom, still no. Then amazon offers him his first promotion but they say we HAVE to move an hour away, within 2 months we’ve secured a 3 bedroom apartment. FAAAH
We sign the lease and I find out he’s still talking to one of the girls he was cheating with…in his deleted messages…(oh brother this guys STINKS) he says he hides when he talks to girls because I’m insecure 🧍🏾♀️ bro.
At that point, we just signed this lease so we’re stuck cohabitating but we’re separated cuz what. Somewhere along there, we end up talking it out ig just proximity and the fact that like realistically we should have just been friends. We have similar humor and interests and we just click (I’m a Virgo and he’s a Taurus if that says anything to you) we get back together cool and marriage gets thrown back on the table and atp sad to say, I gave him an ultimatum. Marriage or I’m gone because you’re not about to play in my face. If you’re going to do bafoonery at least let me collect on it if we divorce. Obviously I didn’t say that part aloud but I did feel like I put too much into the man and built him up to let someone else reap the benefits yknow and CA has very specific spousal laws.
Fast forward again things are cool and I’m not finding anything new but trust issues are still there but we’re trying to make things work. I didn’t mention but early in our relationship I got on birth control that affected my hormones in the worst way, gained 70+ lbs in less than a few months, stopped getting my period and even 2 years after stopping I still didn’t get it back. I went to an OBGYN and was diagnosed with PCOS. She said if we wanted to have kids I’d have to lose weight and be mindful of diet and exercise and she put me on metformin. PCOS if you’ve never heard of it, essentially makes it really hard to lose weight and manage hormones which means it affects your period and ovulation which in turn affects your ability to have children, obviously it’s not impossible just really really hard.
I asked him to start going to the gym with me, helping me find recipes to cook, simple things that should have been a no brainer for someone who said they wanted to have kids. For whatever reason, bro did not want to put in the work with me. His excuse was he’s tired and had no time. For context he has 3 day weekends. I didn’t, and I got off work at 9:30pm and still managed to lose 15lbs. I ended up going to the gym with a coworker before our shift and it was a dude who was also married and I knew his wife. I say that to say, you guessed it, my husband became jealous of my coworker. 😒 whatever, I’m not a cheater for 1 and for 2 I just don’t care because I begged you for the moral support and you refused. BUT, my husband said he wants to go with me now and I say cool, I tell my coworker i am switching days and once again you guessed it, my husband DOES NOT GO TO THE GYM WITH ME LOL.
I end up getting pregnant though..the first time. It ends in miscarriage at 6w. I’m devastated, bro just assuming I’ll get over it and I did eventually. I told myself maybe he just didn’t know how to tend to my emotions because this was his first experience too. Plus we weren’t even really trying, ‘twas a surprise. After the first time we sat down and agreed that we did want to try, the first time was a sign that it was at least possible and if it was hard now at 25y it would be only harder as I got older. For a few months we’re trying and the first time I thought we’d succeed, bro came home with a plan b and said he wasn’t ready. FAAAAH
Took the pill and called it quits to myself because I’d just spent years trying to reverse the effects of hormonal imbalance due to contraceptives. -ran out of characters. I’ll keep going in the comments.
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Ofstead inspection
If your childminder requested your child didn’t attend during an ofstead inspection because ‘less kids are easier’ and then proceed to ask for a review to show the ofstead inspector, what would you do?
I’m thinking why would I write a review for you to show the very people you can’t seem to take care of my child in front of…
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I think I'm falling out of love with my partner, and honestly, I just want to experience being in love again
Lately, I've been feeling like I'm falling out of love with my partner. I don't know if it's resentment or if I'm genuinely just tired of him, but sometimes even looking at him irritates me.
I feel like all he does is work, come home, and play video games. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that he works, but sir, if you were single, wouldn't you still have to work AND take care of your home?
I'm tired of asking a grown man to do basic things. Take out the trash? "Tomorrow." Clean the bathroom? Never done. Sweep the floor? Never done. And when he finally does something, it's with an attitude. Then he'll ask, "What do you want me to do?" BRO, LOOK AROUND! 😭
There was even a point when I had to encourage him to shower regularly and take care of his hair because his dandruff was so bad. And he would actually get upset with me for bringing up his hygiene! Thankfully, he's much better about taking care of himself now, and I'm glad we've moved past that. But WHY did I have to go through that in the first place? Why did I have to remind a grown man to take care of himself?
And what's worse is how he speaks to me. I've noticed he's gentle and respectful toward other men, but with me, he'll curse, make disrespectful jokes, and speak to me anyhow. Like, sir, why do other men get your sweet, respectful side while I get the attitude? Who are you trying to impress? 😂
At this point, I've even found myself taking money from his piggy bank and joking that it's compensation for all my unpaid labor and stress. 😭 I know that's not a healthy way to deal with resentment, but that's where I'm at emotionally.
Honestly, I'm just exhausted. I don't want to feel like someone's mother. I want to feel like someone's girlfriend, someone's love, someone's person.
Lately, I've been daydreaming about falling in love again. I want that K-drama type of romance. 😂 A man who's genuinely smitten with me, who's thoughtful, affectionate, romantic, and excited to spend time with me. Someone who makes me feel beautiful, feminine, wanted, and appreciated.
I know real relationships aren't K-dramas, but is it too much to want deep romantic love? I miss the butterflies, flirting, dates, meaningful conversations, and the feeling of someone genuinely being interested in me.
I just want to be able to relax and be loved without feeling like I have to manage everything.
And the saddest part? I don't even know if I want him to change anymore. I'm just tired of having to ask for the bare minimum.
Has anyone else experienced this? Did you eventually fall back in love, or did you realize you were already emotionally checked out?
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I just need support
My husband is cheating on me, I’m 35 weeks pregnant. I have no family around, I just found out and I’m sleeping in my in laws house tonight. He doesn’t even know what’s going on bc he was drunk when I left the house.
I can’t just leave him, I’m not working I quit my job
I’m too scare I don’t know what to do
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