Aita- engagement

How did he react to you giving it back?

I kind of think you both are.
He absolutely could have made a bit more effort but honestly unless you’ve told him you want a grand romantic proposal how is he meant to know?

I couldn’t imagine giving the ring back 🫣

Initially said he understood could tell he had disappointed me. Which is what I expected him to do. Then last night he was like I feel like I’m constantly disappointing you. I said not at all but this is a big thing to do on a whim without any planning. I think he just got over excited. He had spent months researching the ring then just done it on a random night very odd. It was impulse buy crap. So we are both sad. It’s tarnished the whole thing for me I didnt know if I liked the ring or not because I was so scared and upset by the whole thing it’s hard to see the wood through the trees

Most importantly I love him but I deserve better than this after 2 kids together and two bonus kids of his. I plan everything this was his only thing

I think you’re right. Especially if you plan everything as you said

Do not accept the bare minimum. To be seen, is to be loved.

You're telling me you've spent 8 years together and in that time he hasn't known you well enough to know what type of proposal you want? And honestly, yes it is that serious.

He can try again and hopefully get it right this time. It's not even like it has to be expensive or huge, it's about feeling seen, valued, heard and wanted.