Am I a bad Mom if I don't like staying with my children?

Mine does a couple of mornings a week in nursery because we have funded hours now she’s 3 and it saves my sanity especially now we have a puppy 😂 not the same as a baby obviously but still hard work! It gets tough having the same negative experiences with them every day. I find things are much easier when we get out of the house or I plan fun things to do at home e.g. arts and crafts. Does he get involved with care for the younger one to feel part of things? Often toddlers learn to love helping, a toddler tower for cooking, asking him to pass you wipes etc. If he’s just dropped the nap there’s an adjustment period where he will be extra tired and cranky as well. It honestly sounds like he’s maybe a bit tired, maybe a bit bored, maybe wanting a bit of extra attention because of his new sibling. All totally normal and nothing to feel bad about. Dealing with a toddler all the time is often hard graft! Do you get much time to yourself in the evenings/at the weekend?

A couple things that have made my life easier:

Go out at least once a day with them. Park, library, store.

Keep baby gates on the stairs if you don't have them - thankfully my 3 year old hasn't figured them out. You'll need them anyway with the baby

Actual consequences for bad behavior - time out, taking toys away

Sleep train the baby - my kids sleeping well has saved my sanity

The questions from the 3 year old unfortunately won't stop. Just something you have to deal with :/

My kids are 3.5 and 19 months, and I was/am in a similar situation. My son goes to school mon-Fri, so my daughter and I hang out at home. I’m able to get some chores done and we go to baby classes sometimes. When we pick up my son, we usually go to the park and run errands before coming home for dinner. Getting out of the house definitely helps- both for getting a change of scenery, and the fresh air really does wonders for my mental health. And when we go to the store together, it helps them get used to being out in public and how to behave.

3 year olds are learning to understand their world, so the questions are endless lol. They’re also trying to assert their independence, which is why he might not be listening as well. Let him make small decisions, like present some options on what he’s going to wear (and maybe even what baby is going to wear- “you picked out such a cool outfit for baby!”), what snacks to eat, shows to watch, should we go to the park or library, etc.

I have kids your same age and it’s extremely hard on my mental health haha. I stay at home because it makes more sense financially, and because my husband is gone for 2-3 days at a time. But I don’t love every minute of it; actually, I dislike it more than I like it. Being a SAHM is the hardest thing, at least for me. It may not be hard for other women, but it is for me, and that’s okay.

The behavior is probably just normal age related development. It’s hard to corral at times.

My toddler is starting preschool 2x a week for 4 hrs. I’m hoping that will help him learn a more structured environment.

When I’m alone with them, I try to get out of the house for a bit. Go to a park, let them play and burn energy with other kids.

Try to find a mom group of you can that meets and you know he will have a play date.

Good luck! Don’t feel bad about not loving it, it’s hard!

Give it time, he's adjusting to the move and it will take him longer to settle and build a new routine than what you would like. But start that routine, because that will save your sanity. As another mentioned give out a consequence when he wakes the baby, have gates to restrict the areas you don't want him in, and maybe provide him puzzles to keep his attention and his curious mind busy. As for the questions, read and take him to the library and explain everything answer his questions then, and hopefully he starts getting his curiosity need met. But at this point its normal for a 3 y.o. to always be asking questions

I hired a mother’s helper a few afternoons a week so I can get stuff done. Game changer!

I think a mindset shift is needed if you want to make it work. Your kid sounds like he's just being a 3 year old- adults often put unrealistic expectations on our kids and what we think life should look like which puts us in a pissu mood and our kids feel that and act out more and more. The more we push the harder their little minds and bodies unintentionally push back and the cycle gets harder. I like to remember that my actions in the present effect our future 10 fold. If my child feels like everything else is more important then she will grow up and act out more. Kids thrive when we meet them where they are. Try to involve your kids when you xan- yes it will take much longer but it will actually get done and the bonding will help everyone❤️ you have your hands FULL and you are doing a great job- just lower the expectations of yourself and your babies a bit

That’s a lot of change for all of you, especially with a 6-month-old to care for too. ❤️ I’m curious, was your 3-year-old prepared for the move and the changes to his daily routine? I don’t want to make assumptions, but sometimes all the questions and challenging behaviour can come from feeling uncertain, especially when so much has changed around them.
Also, around this age, many children start resisting naps. Maybe try replacing nap time with quiet time. Let him know he doesn’t have to sleep, but he can read books, do puzzles, or enjoy something quiet while you get a little break too.
I’d also consider speaking with a parenting or behaviour coach who can help you understand the patterns behind his behaviour and find practical tools that work for both of you. Every child is different, and sometimes a little guidance can make a big difference. ❤️

I’m in the same boat ❤️❤️. Just give your self some grace

I was in the same situation . I wasn’t cleaning the house . Not eating much if I did it was prepackaged like a snack so pretty unhealthy. I only have one daughter and one on the way. I confided in my doctor and she prescribed me celexa it’s for anxiety and postpartum depression it gave me at least the energy and want to to deal with it all better. I can’t say it would work for you but that was my solution. I’m back to waking up before her for some self care and I’m more patient and productive. Also indoor playgrounds have been a life saver she can independently play safely there without getting into everything else like she does at home and they have coffee do we start our day there a lot. Get some energy out for naptime . Ours is cheap it’s 30 a month I know others can be more I’d look into it .

Girl is just a phase girl!!
Put yourself together! The Bible says! Foolishness abides in the hearts of children! So it’s a long ride! And how you treat them
Now, defines the future! Take it easy mama! Give it time! You’ll enjoy the fruit of your Labour.