Am I wrong for feeling angry/ upset at my best friend?
My best friend who has been my rock throughout pregnancy and post partum and continues to be so, has seen my struggles with motherhood and getting pregnant. The strain it has caused on my physical health and the minimal support I have had all around from my husband and in laws, my own mother passed away in 2023. I had an IVF baby and shes a healthy happy baby thankfully. As hard as its been I do want my baby to have a sibling, I have relied heavily on my sister during my post partum journey and when losing my mum and I couldn't imagine doing life without her and I want this for my baby - a sibling, especially when neither me or my husband are no longer alive. My best friend has always been the kind of person who thinks of the worst outcome first and she keeps telling me I shouldn't have another baby and its really starting to upset me, as its clear she thinks im not cut out for motherhood and cant handle it. But my baby is thriving, and i vent all my feelings to my best friend to make myself feel better and she has always listened but this comment has made me feel like I should hold back as being told repeatedly im not gonna handle having another child is quite hurtful. I really needed to vent somewhere without being judged, am I wrong for feeling this or is she right? has anyone had any similar experiences?
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Playing devils advocate.. if you’ve struggled with your entrance to motherhood and you’ve not long lost your mum, you had to go through gruelling IVF etc that she’s just trying to protect your happiness/ doesn’t want you to make your life even more difficult atm with another round of IVF and juggling two children inevitably will. You’ve been through a hell of a lot by the sounds of it.
I don’t know your friend or your relationship so it’s hard to tell the intention behind it of course! Have you told her how much another baby means to you and how her comments are making you feel? I wouldn’t automatically assume she doesn’t think you’re cut out for motherhood! x
Personally yeah I’d be pissed my first born is a IVF baby and then I got blessed and fell pregnant 7ish months postpartum
Yes 2 under 2 is hell at times but mine and super sweet to each other
You're absolutely entitled to feel hurt, especially when it's coming from someone you trust and confide in. But I do wonder whether your friend is saying these things out of genuine concern rather than because she thinks you're not a good mum. She's seen how much you've struggled physically and emotionally, and perhaps she's worried about you going through it all again.
Sometimes when we vent to the people closest to us, they hear so much of the difficult stuff that they don't always see the happier moments or the full picture.
That being said, there's a difference between expressing concern and repeatedly telling someone what they should or shouldn't do. I'd have an honest conversation with her and explain how her comments make you feel.
Ultimately, only you can decide what's right for your family. Your friend can be concerned about you without making that decision for you. ❤️
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Am I wrong for feeling angry/ upset at my best friend?
My best friend who has been my rock throughout pregnancy and post partum and continues to be so, has seen my struggles with motherhood and getting pregnant. The strain it has caused on my physical health and the minimal support I have had all around from my husband and in laws, my own mother passed away in 2023. I had an IVF baby and shes a healthy happy baby thankfully. As hard as its been I do want my baby to have a sibling, I have relied heavily on my sister during my post partum journey and when losing my mum and I couldn't imagine doing life without her and I want this for my baby - a sibling, especially when neither me or my husband are no longer alive. My best friend has always been the kind of person who thinks of the worst outcome first and she keeps telling me I shouldn't have another baby and its really starting to upset me, as its clear she thinks im not cut out for motherhood and cant handle it. But my baby is thriving, and i vent all my feelings to my best friend to make myself feel better and she has always listened but this comment has made me feel like I should hold back as being told repeatedly im not gonna handle having another child is quite hurtful. I really needed to vent somewhere without being judged, am I wrong for feeling this or is she right? has anyone had any similar experiences?
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