I don’t need a break from my baby, I need help with the laundry 😂
Does anyone else have a MIL who insists on taking my 12 week old baby to “help” you get a break? 🫠😂
I know she means well, but sometimes I don’t actually want a break from my baby. I’m happy having him with me, and honestly, having someone take him away from me doesn’t necessarily feel like a break at all!
I’d much rather have help with practical things like cooking, washing up or laundry, but it feels like the main thing she wants to do is hold the baby. Sometimes I also get the feeling that she wants to feel like she’s doing her Nana duty, which I completely understand, but it can feel like her need to spend time with him gets framed as “helping me” when that’s not necessarily what I need. 🥹
I feel a bit guilty because I know she’s trying to help, but I also feel like people assume that because we’re new mums, we must constantly want someone to take our babies off our hands. Sometimes we just want support without having to be separated from our little ones. 🥹
Am I being unreasonable, or does anyone else feel the same? How do you handle it kindly without hurting anyone’s feelings?
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You are not being unreasonable. These are questions you need to answer for yourself. Whenever your MIL does “help” you. How does that make you feel? If it really is guilt. What do you need for you to feel okay?
You really need to reflect on your feelings and needs first. If your needs are not being met, then something has to change. You can be considerate to the other party and compromise. For example, she only helps if you asks her to, or set a time and a list of chores for her to help you on. However both parties need to benefit from the compromise. If a compromise cannot be met, your needs come first. Even if it means someone else will be disappointed. If the other party lack the regulation themselves to tolerate disappointment. That’s not your responsibility to fix it for them.
You are not being unreasonable you are absolutely valid in your feelings. I would kindly explain to her your needs. Rather thank what you dont need (ie holding the baby) frame it as I could use help with the dishes or laundry .
My mum used to run around doing the chores I didnt get round to doing in the first stage. I wasn't well anyway but yes I appreciated that more than her being a baby hog 😁
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I don’t need a break from my baby, I need help with the laundry 😂
Does anyone else have a MIL who insists on taking my 12 week old baby to “help” you get a break? 🫠😂
I know she means well, but sometimes I don’t actually want a break from my baby. I’m happy having him with me, and honestly, having someone take him away from me doesn’t necessarily feel like a break at all!
I’d much rather have help with practical things like cooking, washing up or laundry, but it feels like the main thing she wants to do is hold the baby. Sometimes I also get the feeling that she wants to feel like she’s doing her Nana duty, which I completely understand, but it can feel like her need to spend time with him gets framed as “helping me” when that’s not necessarily what I need. 🥹
I feel a bit guilty because I know she’s trying to help, but I also feel like people assume that because we’re new mums, we must constantly want someone to take our babies off our hands. Sometimes we just want support without having to be separated from our little ones. 🥹
Am I being unreasonable, or does anyone else feel the same? How do you handle it kindly without hurting anyone’s feelings?
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