Is it selfish to miss my old lifestyle as a single mom?

Jax just released a song called "The Death of Her Old Self" about this exact thing. I'll be a single mom in 6-8 weeks and it had me snotting up sobbing 😭

Of course not, it’s not selfish to miss your old life esp w no support. My single mama friends are able to travel, go out to eat, drink, dance, go festivals and pubs and clubs only because they coparent and the BD takes the kids every second weekend (and 2 gfs on a 50/50 basis w their BD so 1w on 1w off) so they can dress up go out and have girls nights on that weekend but I know not all single mamas have that privilege of the BD being in their life. They tend to make friends w other single mamas so they can swap babysitting back and forth, if you don’t have Mum/sister to help look for another single mama that you can get close to and do swapsies with- we’ve also gone camping together before. Single mamas tend to stick together yes they have married friends like me but when looking for “village” they tend to rely on each other more. (4/5 of our mum group is single mums except me) Do you have mum/sister/friend that can watch your child one evening while asleep so you can go out??

When I became a mom, I mourned my childfree lifestyle for a while. I always wanted to have kids, I just didn't plan to become a mom at that time. The lifestyle change was jurassic. It took me about 2 years to make piece with this new life and start finding joy in it. Maybe you will have it sooner as I had postpartum depression. Just remember some day you will have your freedom again.

I don't know how old your baby is at the moment but there's no reason you can't do those things to some extent.

Camping and festivals for example, there are lots of kid friendly options which have the vibe of community and the spirit of all doing something together. Equally, staying out late once in a while whilst baby sleeps in pram/pushchair is not the end of the world (obviously drinking and clubbing is a little harder)

I feel there's often a narrative that to be good mums we have to give up who we are and I just don't accept that.

It will look and feel different, but I think it's important to plan things that you used to do. It's still possible

Yea I def miss traveling. I need a vacation soon!