Can you love your kids so much and at the same time missing your life before having them?
I really love my children, and I enjoy playing and spending time with them! seeing them growing is the biggest blessing.. BUT I don’t recognise myself anymore. I used to have so much social life, plenty of friends, dates with my husband, travels and free time to eat out, going to galleries, theatre and now I am doing nothing at all.. just home, work, cooking, prepping things for my kids. Who am I now??
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Start with an hour going out with a friend for coffee while dad has the kids
Then gradually increase - 2 hours for a lunch date nearby with a friend. Then few hours then half a day away.
Fit it in wherever you can. What does your husband's work schedule look like?
Do you have anyone else who can have the kids for an hour while you go out for coffee with your husband as well?
Aw that's tough if you're on your own with the kids all day.
Does he help when he gets home in the evening?
How old are your kids?
Do you get any time by yourself on a Saturday or Sunday? If so then start making it regular, even if it's one hour every Saturday and Sunday then increase.
For dates with your husband how comfortable are you with babysitters?
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hiii I’m Claire! I am looking for people to become close with either through texting or in person ❤️
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am i being extreme or what?
when i was around 7/8 months pregnant, i went through my husbands phone and saw he was liking 30+ women’s pictures on twitter, one of them were even prompting to like the picture if you would dm them, and he liked it. i wanted a divorce (not valid in my religion during pregnancy anyways) but he pleaded, did the most, cried, said he made a mistake and whatever tf he said. he changed his phone password lol, i asked for the new one, he gave it to me but thought i wouldn’t remember it, anyways now 14 months postpartum, we’re so distant romantically, my attraction and trust for him have never been the same but i was still trying you know? he almost never initiates sex, i co sleep and breast fed my LO to sleep and have been struggling so bad to stop i’ve been exhausted so i pleaded him to help me wean her off, so i can have time for myself and our marriage, he was always nonchalant about it, unbothered, delaying, anyways the other day something urged me to check his phone, i find he has been looking for masturbating sex toys and local escorts, happy ending erotic massage services. Lol another part of me has died, i confront him and he says i pushed him to that, that he’s never actually done anything physically he was just looking because he was angry at me (nothing happened on the day btw we even had a good evening out as a family but i guess he forgot to get his story straight) proceeds to list all the issues he has (ive been evil, i bully him apparently, i project my external issues with others onto him, i demasculate him, i never listen etc…) proceeds to cry a few tears, i just zoned out mid conversation, i feel like i was already quite emotionally checked out prior to what i saw, very sexually deprived/unsatisfied (i even find myself thinking about experiences with other people from the past, btw these exs have also tried reaching out several times during my marriage and i just block, he doesn’t even know the temptations ive been fighting and staying loyal to our marriage and has the audacity) anyways i’ve been thinking about how divorce life would be for ages (because of constant personality clashes, low romantic feelings/attraction etc), now i think this is a reason for divorce? but im a sahm, im completing my university degree (have like 2.5 years left) since i found out he has been doing the most, chores, compliments, giving me time to nap, even fully took care of bed time without me breast feeding for the first time, i really want a divorce but now im like should i stay till i finish this degree, save up whatever i can, apply for a jobs abroad, surprise him with a divorce and heal from the divorce in a fresh new life abroad with my daughter. Idk man, why can’t men be normal, i was actually such a good wife to him i just have no support from family since the beginning of my postpartum till this day, i didn’t get a full night sleep for 14 months ( i wake up around 7-15 times in the night) until last night, he has been so incompetent and sees almost the bare minimum as being a good husband and dad, when it’s just not enough for me. Now another part of my love for him has just died and burned away, men really do love bitches, and i think it’s time to be the biggest bitch until i think it’s my time to go. And the way i feel now i couldn’t care less if he sleeps with the neighbors dog or whoever, he really killed a part of me, if he couldn’t respect me as a wife or partner he could’ve at least respected me as the mother of his child, but no. So game on i guess 🤝
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How are we making money?
How are we making money as stay at home moms? Im not creative enough or have the time to make stuff to sell, im not pretty or unique enough to start social media, selling my kids old stuff doesnt ever yield much result, I need to go through my clothes to sell but thats not a long term way to make money.
I want to be able to fund things I want to do for myself without making my husband have to pay for everything, but I just dont know how to make money with the minimal time and energy I have. Its starting to make me depressed.
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Fully remote jobs?
Has anyone has any luck with any fully remote jobs? I need to help with the income as finances are getting strained and my husband’s company replaced his job with a machine, and his hours got cut. We have kids at home and can’t afford the local daycares, so I’m looking for a remote job that someone can verify isn’t scammy.
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Can you love your kids so much and at the same time missing your life before having them?
I really love my children, and I enjoy playing and spending time with them! seeing them growing is the biggest blessing.. BUT I don’t recognise myself anymore. I used to have so much social life, plenty of friends, dates with my husband, travels and free time to eat out, going to galleries, theatre and now I am doing nothing at all.. just home, work, cooking, prepping things for my kids. Who am I now??
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Copper IUD
Hey girls
I’ve just got my copper IUD last week and I did not stop bleeding since then . I know that 3 months is an adjustable period , but I’ve noticed that the bleeding is stronger and not like spotting ( even though panty liners are still enough ) , my periods are due soon also .
I’ve never been on any birth control before so I’m not sure what to think .
Also how did you have sex if you have a pad always on you and I don’t feel sexy or wanting sex at all with the blood there .
I don’t want kids in a nearest time and I don’t want any hormones but this bleeding is making me uncomfortable 🥲🥲🥲
I’m still breastfeeding and usually in the morning or in the evening there is no blood but during day especially if I’m walking a lot or standing a lot , I can feel the blood leaving my body ahaha sorry
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