MIL destroyed marriage when I have a 3 month old
Hi guys. Long story short, my mother in law has always been extremely off with me. Initially I thought it was a personality trait and cannot expect everyone to be bubbly as you. But she did many things that were just awful such as, when I was pregnant vomiting in her home she completely ignored me. I cooked for her and her sons and she went and ate in her room & didnt thank me. When we had our wedding at my wedding I went up to dance next to her and she walked off (so much more that I could list). Anyway, she lives in our home country so as soon as I came back to London I forgot about her. I had my baby and my husband convinced me into bringing her over for a month to ‘help me’ as my own mum has a physical disability so can’t help me much. First two weeks she I was cooking, cleaning & looking after my baby. She even WOKE ME UP FROM A NAP to change my baby’s clothes. My husband spoke to her and she improved but would still do weird things and like completely blank me, or make comments to make me look like a bad mother. My husband started to be horrible so one night I snapped and called her a b*** to him. He called a family meeting the next day with her and my parents and exposed me to them all. She even said to my parents ‘why should he wake up to give baby a bottle he works hes tired’ ‘why should he change nappies’ ‘if she’s incapeable of looking after her baby blah blah’. I have practically been a married single mum since baby has been born he is now 3 months old. I can’t believe my husband exposed me and told his mother I called her out of name. This marriage is completely failing, i have a 3 month old, I don’t know if I can ever look at him the same or be a part of their family after everything I have been through. I know I shouldn’t of called her out of her name but I was at my width ends I felt bullied and abused and like she was doing everything to make me look like a shit mum… WHY WOULD HE TELL HER?
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I’m sorry your going through this
She created a child that puts her first. BUT he's married now. You sound well in mind and completely normal and I would've called her more than the single word you've used.
I am so sorry you feel alone. You deserve to know that as a woman, you are not. Unfortunately, many of us have experienced what you've just elaborated.
For now you will have to change your perspective to survive in the choice to stay and not question him or his lousy mommy or the choice to eventually request therapy with your spouse and go from there.
I wish you best of luck and hope he can come to realize what a good woman/mother he has for his child❤️
You are running on fumes, and she was supposed to have come over to be of help, and yet you are still stressed. Id tell him I'm grateful for the help she gave, but i don't need it anymore, so she can go home now. Much easier to focus on your mental and physical health when you aren't being undermined by him and her. Traditional gender roles are so abusive imo, and it sounds like he thinks being tired is an excuse to not help with the baby, as if you aren't tired.
He doesn't respect you
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MIL destroyed marriage when I have a 3 month old
Hi guys. Long story short, my mother in law has always been extremely off with me. Initially I thought it was a personality trait and cannot expect everyone to be bubbly as you. But she did many things that were just awful such as, when I was pregnant vomiting in her home she completely ignored me. I cooked for her and her sons and she went and ate in her room & didnt thank me. When we had our wedding at my wedding I went up to dance next to her and she walked off (so much more that I could list). Anyway, she lives in our home country so as soon as I came back to London I forgot about her. I had my baby and my husband convinced me into bringing her over for a month to ‘help me’ as my own mum has a physical disability so can’t help me much. First two weeks she I was cooking, cleaning & looking after my baby. She even WOKE ME UP FROM A NAP to change my baby’s clothes. My husband spoke to her and she improved but would still do weird things and like completely blank me, or make comments to make me look like a bad mother. My husband started to be horrible so one night I snapped and called her a b*** to him. He called a family meeting the next day with her and my parents and exposed me to them all. She even said to my parents ‘why should he wake up to give baby a bottle he works hes tired’ ‘why should he change nappies’ ‘if she’s incapeable of looking after her baby blah blah’. I have practically been a married single mum since baby has been born he is now 3 months old. I can’t believe my husband exposed me and told his mother I called her out of name. This marriage is completely failing, i have a 3 month old, I don’t know if I can ever look at him the same or be a part of their family after everything I have been through. I know I shouldn’t of called her out of her name but I was at my width ends I felt bullied and abused and like she was doing everything to make me look like a shit mum… WHY WOULD HE TELL HER?
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