What would you do?

Even upon waking up on an average school day, he says, you guys dont have to come every day, no matter how many times we explain that this is a routine and we’re a family

If it's a recent adjustment, he may just be adjusting. I think some kids have a hard time with a change in routine. I'd just explain that you guys are trying to do more things together as a family and say something like, “We like to see you before you go to school!” Maybe even ask if he's okay with it (even though, yes, it seems like he isn't), but to show that you're acknowledging his feelings and opinions.

He is only five… he probably doesn’t mean anything malicious by it. Ot sounds like he wants a bit of time
To his dad alone.
Also if its only been a week its still early days and he will be adjusting.
My son doesnt want me since ive had my second he only wants his
Dad. Sometimes they get used to the primary care giver as well and tend to have a primary one i wouldnt think too much into it x

You say boyfriend...are you going to marry this guy?! Or are you planning to marry him?! Because you say you want to create a family dynamic, his son is part of that equation. And if you don't marry his dad you shouldn't have to care for his son...if you plan on marrying him his son is a package deal. But tell you the truth I would not stay with this guy if he cheated on you with his son's mother...there are unresolved issues there and I don't trust them to rear there ugly head. Just have him figured it out alone while caring for his two kids.

It seems a bit much for both parents to drop the kid off to school everyday. If my husband suggested we both drop the kids off at school everyday I would think he was crazy. There is to much that needs done. But your husband should have a conversation about how words can hurt people’s feelings and his comments are hurting your feelings and making you feel not wanted.

It’s sounds like the 5 year old just wants one on one time with his dad and he keeps bringing it up because it’s an unmet need. I wouldn’t take it personally or interpret it as “rude”. He’s pretty young.
Also, it sounds like you’re taking on a lot of responsibility for him when maybe his mom should be stepping into that role and I’m sure that especially painful since he cheated on you with her. (Very disgusting btw and I’m sorry) You should communicate your expectations and boundaries in how you want to take care of him.

I think it's weird that u r all taking him to school like stay home with sister rest go back to sleep I be wondering to why the whole family for drop off. I understand for pickup especially if going away for trip but for drop off. Is probably why u r getting the comments as for uncle an cousin cause they are going somewhere out of the house.

I say stay home with the baby an relax do something while she sleeping get back into something instead of getting baby ready ourself ready for drop off unless u all go to work an her day care than I understand.

He’s 5 and he’s expressing how he feels and what he feels is valid. Rather than doing it everyday, why not do a gradual buildup to every day rather than change up his routine so drastically. Like start with one day a week, make it special.

But, the dad, I would be careful cuz for one, him saying you are overreacting is gaslighting. And if he’s gaslighting you, he hasn’t changed that much. And also, if his son is upset and you are upset cuz how the son reacts, your bf needs to do better for his son and you, but specifically his son. His son is communicating that he’s not happy. So to me I find that as a red flag in the way that he’s not listening to his son and he’s gaslighting you… that doesn’t sound like a very considerate man. So be patient with the boy and hold your bf accountable for his actions, in this case lack of actions cuz he needs to be a better dad to his son and not do things just to make you happy cuz he fucked up by cheating.

do you think someone else may be possibly enabling these thoughts? hes only five so what he sees and hears is what he’s learned and knows. if you love him and have continuously showed him you care i think it is alarming for him to talk that way but most definitely wrong to say. i think he’s hearing extra input on top of already visibly seeing you come after his mom and you bringing a new sibling. i have a bad feeling ur bf didnt change one bit. bc he’s 5 at some point the way you treated him would’ve already overpowered that negativity. if not then there’s a lot more to it. ur bf also seems rlly manipulative i don’t fw that.

Was gd