Bf wants to move in and idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been dating for several years. I have never lived with a significant other. I have a strong belief that we shouldn’t live together until we’ve agreed to marriage, because if they relationship ends it can be disruptive to regular life, ie trying to find a place for one of us to live.
Well my boyfriend is now in a really bad place. His roommate stopped paying his half of their rent several months ago, and he came home last month to find he packed up and left with no notice. The landlord is now coming to my bf for the missing rent and utilities, totally to thousands of dollars. My bf said his half was all paid, but the landlord says that doesn’t matter since both names are on the lease and both are responsible. Of my bf doesn’t come up with the money, he’ll be evicted. So he’s been trying to take more hours at work, but most of his job has been automated so there’s really not any work. Also, he’s been using PTO a lot to help me with childcare. He always said it was never an issue, but this morning a coworker told him he overheard they’re going to be laying him off because he’s been using too much PTO, so my bf went to his boss directly and asked about it, and they said yes, and then told him they also have a right to deny him unemployment. He’s really stressed now about money, and he’s scrambling to find a new job after ten years with this company. But he needs some time to get things together and wants to move in with me. He also stated directly that moving in is not a temporary thing for us, and if he moves in we are endgame and he won’t have a place to go if I kick him out.
I want to say yes, and I can see the benefits, but I’m also a little nervous about it. This is a big change that feels like it’s going to happen very fast and I’m not sure what to do about it. We have been fighting a lot lately over money since his landlord got on him, and I feel like that’s also affecting my judgment right now, and making me lean towards no, but I also don’t want to leave him high and dry. I know he genuinely doesn’t have anyone else.
We’ve been together 4 years. I want a ring. I don’t want to play the wife without being the wife. What do I do?
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Do you think you want to spend the rest of your life with this person? Because if you turn them out, the relationship will probably never be the same. Set some very firm ground rules about what is expected from both of you. You aren't just letting a random person move in, you're letting your future move in. If you want that future, I say go for it. If you don't then I dont know if this relationship is for you.
Honestly, if you leave him hanging in his time of need he may never make you his wife. I feel like men like to see wife qualities in a woman before choosing to marry them. If you don’t care about the relationship then don’t let him move in, but if you do then you absolutely should help him out in his time of need. After all, him helping you with childcare is directly contributing to his job loss right now. You owe him that much tbh.
Let him move in! Unless u r catholic than start planning on wedding date!
If not let him move in I wanted to live with my husband before marriage to see if right fit. An we married 4yr later best decision I made an still am married u can go to court house if u don't have funds or want to wait for actual marriage
Not the easiest situation. You have to do what feels best for you. I personally think 4 years is a very long time and I couldn’t imagine not living with my partner. For me being able to live together is a must for a good relationship. I do understand that you want a ring after 4 years! Is he open for it at all?
But also marriage doesn’t guarantee a happy ever after ring or no ring id ask myself is he the one I want to wake up to every morning for the rest of my life and pick up socks after him every single day?
I moved in with my now husband the day we met(as I just moved to the UK and was homeless at the time), got married a year later and now have our beautiful baby girl 3,5 years in.
I think you should think more of what YOU want and if this will benefit YOU. A man will be okay, or he should.
Unpopular opinion, but please consider if he is displaying husband behavior in life and if he is someone worthy of your hand in marriage when things are all done.
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Bf wants to move in and idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been dating for several years. I have never lived with a significant other. I have a strong belief that we shouldn’t live together until we’ve agreed to marriage, because if they relationship ends it can be disruptive to regular life, ie trying to find a place for one of us to live.
Well my boyfriend is now in a really bad place. His roommate stopped paying his half of their rent several months ago, and he came home last month to find he packed up and left with no notice. The landlord is now coming to my bf for the missing rent and utilities, totally to thousands of dollars. My bf said his half was all paid, but the landlord says that doesn’t matter since both names are on the lease and both are responsible. Of my bf doesn’t come up with the money, he’ll be evicted. So he’s been trying to take more hours at work, but most of his job has been automated so there’s really not any work. Also, he’s been using PTO a lot to help me with childcare. He always said it was never an issue, but this morning a coworker told him he overheard they’re going to be laying him off because he’s been using too much PTO, so my bf went to his boss directly and asked about it, and they said yes, and then told him they also have a right to deny him unemployment. He’s really stressed now about money, and he’s scrambling to find a new job after ten years with this company. But he needs some time to get things together and wants to move in with me. He also stated directly that moving in is not a temporary thing for us, and if he moves in we are endgame and he won’t have a place to go if I kick him out.
I want to say yes, and I can see the benefits, but I’m also a little nervous about it. This is a big change that feels like it’s going to happen very fast and I’m not sure what to do about it. We have been fighting a lot lately over money since his landlord got on him, and I feel like that’s also affecting my judgment right now, and making me lean towards no, but I also don’t want to leave him high and dry. I know he genuinely doesn’t have anyone else.
We’ve been together 4 years. I want a ring. I don’t want to play the wife without being the wife. What do I do?
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