MIL seriously ill
We have just found out my MIL has cancer. We are devastated, trying to process it, honestly I'm still in shock. The woman is one of the healthiest people I knew up until this.
I have a two year old and a 9 month old. I'm trying to support my husband as best I can but I'm really concerned about my 2 year old. We took her to the hospital to see her grandma before she goes on the chemo ward, because kids aren't allowed on there for risk of infection. Totally understand that but how do I explain to her where grandma has gone or why she can't see her? She's already picking up on the vibe that things aren't right and she's worried and clingy, I've told her grandma is poorly and she's at the Dr in bed so they can make her healthy again. I didn't loose a grandparent until I was 7 and by then I'd had two hamsters so I kinda understood what death was. But how do you talk about that without scaring the shit out of a younger child. I'm trying to stay positive but if it comes to that how do I tell her. I told her it's normal for people to feel sad sometimes and daddy is crying because he's sad that grandma is poorly. It's so horrible I just don't know what to do or say to help either of them. We are gonna take it in turns to visit her going forward, try to keep her company. It's going to be a hard few months ahead. Any advice on any of it really appreciated.
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this sounds so helpless. i'm so sorry. first of all the fact you feel helpless shows how much you care and how well you'll be supporting them as a result. there just is a level of helplessness we have to accept in the face of such awful situations. you can't shield your kid from it and you can't take it off your husband's shoulders or your own for that matter.
just keep being there. physically, emotionally. things won't feel normal for a long time and if you put too much pressure on yourself to hold everyone up the whole time you'll collapse. lots of little ones experience sad things too young but also go on to be ok, build resilience from the love and support they get in order to get through it. provide that to your daughter and to your husband when you feel able, make sure your husband provides it for you sometimes too, and you'll all get through it.
Hi, so my mum is currently undergoing chemotherapy and I have a just 4 year old and a 10 week old. My 4 year old used to spend 1 day a week with his nanny and see her on the weekends so he really misses her.
My dad died due to cancer 11 years ago so he has some understanding that some people aren't here anymore physically and I have explained that death is when the body doesn't work anymore, but I only did because he asked (we have cats!)
We have told him that his nanny is poorly and we can't always see her at the moment, and he is sad but ok about it. We make a lot of things for her and video or audio call her. I haven't gone into any detail about it and I won't unless he asks. My mum will never be cured but she has also said she doesn't plan on dying any time soon so I will take that.
As hard as it is, try to accept that it is a really difficult time but also try to remain as positive as you can. There is a lot they can do and more and more cures are being discovered every day.
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MIL seriously ill
We have just found out my MIL has cancer. We are devastated, trying to process it, honestly I'm still in shock. The woman is one of the healthiest people I knew up until this.
I have a two year old and a 9 month old. I'm trying to support my husband as best I can but I'm really concerned about my 2 year old. We took her to the hospital to see her grandma before she goes on the chemo ward, because kids aren't allowed on there for risk of infection. Totally understand that but how do I explain to her where grandma has gone or why she can't see her? She's already picking up on the vibe that things aren't right and she's worried and clingy, I've told her grandma is poorly and she's at the Dr in bed so they can make her healthy again. I didn't loose a grandparent until I was 7 and by then I'd had two hamsters so I kinda understood what death was. But how do you talk about that without scaring the shit out of a younger child. I'm trying to stay positive but if it comes to that how do I tell her. I told her it's normal for people to feel sad sometimes and daddy is crying because he's sad that grandma is poorly. It's so horrible I just don't know what to do or say to help either of them. We are gonna take it in turns to visit her going forward, try to keep her company. It's going to be a hard few months ahead. Any advice on any of it really appreciated.
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