HOW Often are we seeing our MILS?

For those of you with local in laws within 40 mins distance. How often do we deem “normal” my MIL is coming once every two weeks. My mum is coming over also, i just feel drained by weekly guests! my mum i’m fine with - she’s MY mum i don’t have to clean the house get dressed etc..

I have a two year old and a 8 week old. I fear when my kids are starting school she’s going to want the same set up of 2x a week where i’m imagining a world where it becomes more in frequent. is that selfish of me? i’m thinking holidays/ bdays/ special occasions and when the kids request it. not every two weeks on tap!

context - There has been so much shit go on that we’re not the best of friends but we are cordial.

She drains me, so every two weeks feels so rough on my nervous system.

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Could the kids dad go to her instead with the kids? My mil sees my kids every couple of weeks but I’m not there every time, I do think only on holidays/special occasions would be far too infrequent though x

lol my MIL was only coming over once every 3-5 MONTHS and that was too much for me. My baby is 19 months, shes seen my in-laws 9 times in her life. we’re no contact now, unsurprisingly 🤣

I end up seeing mine 3x a week atm due to childcare. Soon to change as we’re hiring a nanny ! 3x a week is way too much IMO I don’t even see my own Mum that often !

When my 1st was little we would drive a 1hr to see my MIL twice a month. We ask if there was any way she could meet us ½ way or visit our hose. She told us it was a long drive.
We went to once a month to maybe once every 3-5 months now. The worst part is she work in a town that us ½ point. We offer to meet up after work for even a walk but no dice

Honestly I wish we could see my partners mum more, she lives about 2-2.5hrs from us so doesn’t come very often, we see my mum almost everyday bc she lives a 5 min walk, my partners mum recently spend 2 nights with us and I thought it was really nice having her here and her getting to see my little girl

Currently I see my in laws 1-2 times a month weather that’s grocery shopping at the same time in town or we go over to visit for a couple hours. I don’t feel the need to get dressed up for my in laws tho they r very laid back ppl . I’ve had my mil come over and dye my hair and when rinsing my hair I went ahead and kept my shirt off and stayed in my bra bc I didn’t want my shirt soaked and sticking to my skin .

My FIL and his wife come weekly to do a day a week childcare which is amazingly helpful in theory but I find it very difficult especially as I work from home.

My mum we just see whenever which is a lot more flexible and relaxed, but I still would tidy and dress for her to visit, but that’s our relationship.

in our community

Nursery advice needed from parents who’ve been there

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice on nurseries.

My LO will be starting nursery for 2–3 days a week from February 2027, and I’ll be going back to work in June, when we’ll need to increase him to full-time.

Here’s the dilemma. We have two nurseries we really like, but Option A is our first choice and Option B is our second.

Option B has offered us full-time from June.

Option A has told us they can only offer three days a week from June, with the possibility of increasing to full-time from September. This would mean finding alternative childcare for the other two days during June, July and August.

My initial thought was to take the three days at Option A and see if Option B could offer us the additional two days. Once Option A has full-time availability, we could then move him fully across.

However, my husband’s gut feeling is that we need the security of guaranteed full-time childcare from June. His preference is to go straight with Option B.

I’m really torn because I love Option A, but we obviously need some guarantee that full-time availability will eventually come up.

If we went with Option B and he settled there, but Option A subsequently offered us a full-time place, I’d still really want to move him.

What would you do? Would you take the risk with your first choice and potentially juggle two nurseries for a few months, or go with your second choice for the security of full-time childcare?

Detachment

So this morning my hormones just went bad really bad and I started “arguing” with my husband and just let my mouth run free. What he understood from that is that he should start neglecting himself and even disconnected his entire pc and brought it in the storage room although that’s his only way of winding down from stress. And he then started doing all these unnecessary stuff around the house that I didn’t even ask him to do. He barely lets me take care of our daughter and now I feel even more worthless and like the villain. And when I tried to make him understand that he misinterpreted what I said this morning he refused to listen.

Idk what to do anymore it’s only day 9 and it feels like the marriage is falling apart.

Frustrated

My husband seems to listen to everyone but me. I could say something and it goes in one ear and out the other but someone else says the same exact thing like his mom or step mom or even the Internet or other family members he listens. Do you think me being a stay at home mom and him being the bread winner can cause this? He's not the type of man to throw it in my face I actually have all access of the money and I pay the bills and spend the money and he doesn't mind me managing but when it comes to him making choices I feel like I'm not heard. Idk. Maybe I'm tripping

Bed Bugs 🤮

My FIL keep bringing bed bugs into my home. Having them has been a huge fear of mine since I was a child. I feel so disgusting. Im too paranoid to sleep knowing they will crawl on me. Im already sleep deprived waking up with baby. Im already overwhelmed with laundry but now im washing every sheet and blanket constantly I cant stop. I cant stop cleaning even though i know that doesnt change their presence. The exterminator didnt find a single one or any signs of them but I have bites so we know there are a few of them hanging out. I pray they will never come back. Im furious that he keeps bringing them into my home. Idk how to move forward besides not allowing him over ever. Im so damn frustrated and tired is an understatement. Ive already had a few meltdowns so I need to vent. YUCK 🤮

Hello, needed some advice pls, since my little one has been born I haven’t had any help from my husband with feeding him or on night wakes . Now he’s 18 months old and still he dosent help. He only plays with him that’s all. Am I petty.

He will see to him if I have an appointment or need a few hours sleep . I cook dinner and do everything around the house . He dosent even help with dishes . Am finding it hard to speak as every time I do he throws a strop. What should I do .

Purees or store bought pouches?

Hi, I’m a full time stahm and was wondering if everyone’s cooking from scratch or giving their babies store bought food ? because I feel so much shame around it and I know the nhs says not to rely on them because the way they’re processed kills the nutrition so I’m worried they won’t get much 😩 and most days I don’t know what to cook and it can get very overwhelming and I never wanted to give my baby pouches but l feel awful especially because I’m home all the time and there shouldn’t be any excuses😩