4 year old refusal to potty train

My little girl turned four a few months ago, she has been the most stubborn child on the planet when it comes to potty training, I have tried everything you could possibly think of and she has no desire what so ever. She hides when she poops, she will never tell me she has to go potty until she already has. I’m getting concerned because anything she has looser stools it’s like all rubbed up into her vagina and her vagina looks red and irritated and I am terrified she’s going to get an infection. I don’t know what to do. I am at a loss for trying to encourage her to use the potty. I have an older child who was a little trouble for a few months but nothing like this. Please send me some advice, because I don’t know how to help her.

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You should add what you're already trying, that way you can get more helpful advice.

My LO isn't there yet so I don't have any real advice to give myself... other than when I was training my dog to go pee outside I would have him go outside every hour.. so maybe put her on the potty ever hour for a minute or two, if you're not already doing that?

Dedicate a weekend to do this so you can stay on top of it.

Do you have a reward chart? I've heard lots of parents say that works well. Once they use the toilet so many times they get a reward.

We’ve tried wearing underwear, we’ve tried going bottomless, we’ve tried getting her sister involved, we’ve tried reward charts, potty watches, we’ve tried intervals, we’ve tried sitting there for hours I have a small children’s toilet and the seat cover one with a step stool. She will sit on it she just won’t go she will hold it all day long and then hide and go

Hello mama! Thank you for being open and sharing/coming for support. I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with your little one. If you would like to chat, please feel free to message me! One of my specialties is potty training!

Sometimes when preschoolers feel pressured to do something they resist with all their might. Do what you can to release all pressure. Don't threaten her or bribe her but just let her know that you trust that she will learn to go in the potty when she decides she's ready to.

Find what motivates her...maybe she wants to do something that her big sister does like take a dance class. One of the consequences of learning to always go in the potty is that you get to do fun things like xyz (at least where I live many preschool activities don't allow un-potty trained kids). Then try and find other areas of her life where you can give her more control. Let her pick between 2 options what she's going to wear, what you are going to cook for supper, what activity you will do on the weekend, etc. Sometimes when they haveore control in other areas of their life then they stop taking control in different areas.

in our community

Idiot husband

I am fuuuuming. Livid. Hubby went out to the pub last night, not a problem, you deserve it after a long week at work.

We have a baby and toddler.. so I said, sleep in the other room, take our toddlers monitor, as I don’t want you to disturb the baby.

I wake up to my toddler screaming, WITH HIM SLEEPING THROUGH IT!!!! When I checked her camera she was crying for 8 minutes. She has been awake over an hour now because she fully woke herself up crying so much. Her words: ‘daddy didn’t come’

Needed a space to rant before I actually go and bop him on the bloody nose😡😡😡😡

What’s wrong with me?

My marriage has been struggling for years now. I just had another baby after falling for the lies and promises of change from an absent husband and poor excuse of a father to my children.
I’m left alone with 3 children to manage the house, the kids the meals the cleaning the shopping the drop offs and everything in between. I go days without showering or having to hold my toilet with no support as I cannot leave a newborn with toddlers. I’ve made adjustments like a bouncer in the bathroom and chairs in every room so baby is just glued to my hip 24.7 if I’m lucky enough to have a shower it’s with my baby watching me usually screaming. I used to have hobbies, dreams. I’ve tried filing for divorce, it’s a long story but for right now I’m stuck where I am.
I have just 1 friend and other than my mother no other form of support. I look in the mirror and I don’t know who the person is staring back at me. I fill with anger and rage and I want to damage something. I’m the worse version of myself and feel like I’m failing my children just moving from one day to the next. I’m not the person that looks like they struggle. I’m the person everyone turns to for help and advice when in reality I’m falling apart at the seams. A fresh blow dry, a blazer and heels and a fake smile. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors
I don’t need advice or medication I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest.

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Can anyone please explain how does the nursery fund process work. I'm supposed to return to work mid September and I'm really stressed about what to do. When should I start looking for nurseries and how does the funding from the government works. I would appreciate if someone could explain in details.

Weening

I’m a chef by trade but never for a baby 😂 ok so I’ve been weening my daughter since 4 months old she’s had purées and has been smashing them since the first day, for her 6 month “half birthday” we made her a whole stake and she’s refused to touch the purées since, I ordered a baby cook book but it’s only got recipes for 10 months plus. Best solid foods to give my 6 month old? She won’t even eat the fruit purees anymore the stake has turned her savage 😂 thank you all! Xx

Overstepping in-laws or am I crazy?

I live with my fiancés parents as my brother is severely autistic so we couldn’t stay there, we are both 20 for reference and are looking for the right house for us to buy. My in laws will come and take her (my baby) in the middle of night without telling us and don’t see a problem with it, when I go to find my baby I often find her grandad naked in bed with her doing skin to skin and it makes me feel sick. I’m sure I’m probably over reacting and it’s a nice thing but it makes me so uncomfortable and when I brought it up to my partner I was told to leave it. Unfortunately they seem to think MY baby is theirs and it’s really stressing me out. They both keep making comments awww looks she can’t tell who her proper parents are, and “ oh grandma is just as much of a mum to her as you are” and honestly I’m starting to go down a hole of post natal depression and I just want to go back home to my family.

Need to vent

I’m sick to death of having to remind my partner to do things for me e.g wash the bottles/sterilise whilst I’m asleep as he works nights so when he gets in that’s one of his jobs but funnily enough I’ll wake the next morning to them still in the washing up bowl and all I’ll get when he wakes up is ‘I’m so sorry I forgot’
I just feel sometimes I’m overreacting over the smallest things but I do literally everything for him as well as look after our boy on my own 90% of the time.
He gets frustrated when he can’t get the baby to sleep and asks me to take over which I will always do but I don’t get that option I just have to deal with it?

Also I didn’t get anything for my first Mother’s Day lol and feel like I let him off easily but when these little things happen it just makes me think does he actually care about me?

Am I just being a hormonal pyscho?