My friend no longer wants to be my friend

She should be embarrassed to treat you so poorly. I’m so sorry you are going through this.

She's never was a friend an undercover hater simply act as if she doesn't exsit

Expose her.
Do you remember all the things she's said about other people? Tell them what she truly thinks of them. Do your best to make friends, even if it's with parents from a different district to your son's school. You don't have to be friends with your child's friends parents.
When you see or hear her putting you or someone else down, expose a little truth that shows she's lying to manipulating whoever she's speaking to.
"Were so close and I can't wait for our kids to be best friends and in the same class next year" (you mean the kids you were venting about because they're parents arent good parents and don't know what they're doing?) *100% hypothetical situation*

She does do things like this! Honestly the stuff she has said to me, she called one of the other parents a bitch and the next day she was laughing and joking with her. She called our other neighbour a psychopath when she fell out with her, I reconciled them and sorted it out and now she chats away to her like she is her best mate. But she was still calling her a psychopath to my face! My neighbours who have since moved out used to harass me and she did nothing to improve our situation and used to agree with everything they said about us. I am fed up of being the better person all the time. I have called out her bad behaviour and apparently she said she has been nothing but a good friend to me. I know I deserve way better than that. My husband and my Mum have said to leave it and that people will see her for what she is, but I am not sure they ever will as narcissists are so manipulative. I am the only one who has ever seen her mask slip cos I Iive so close to her 😞

Then you were in the best position you could've been during your friendship with her. I've been on the other side where I didn't know they were a narcissist and any time I told them something private, they would end up airing it to their friend group.
While it would be the higher route to do what your mum and husband have said, and it's also not petty at all, but having to experience that kind of abuse in front of everyone, not having anyone believe you and tell you it's not that bad is extremely difficult. I spent my entire life having everyone around me say "it's not that bad" "forget about it, it's the past. It shouldn't matter now." And other things along the same lines. Hearing those things alone is traumatic for me, BC my childhood was chock full of emotional and psychological abuse. I was also sa'd by both of my brother's and of course no one believed me. My mother didn't even believe me when her fuck buddy did it, she just told me I was lying and continued her relationship with him.
Expose her xx 😘

My mother is a narcissist too so I have been exposed and subjected from a young age to it and I expect that vulnerability attracts narcissists too. This is where my PTSD is routed from. I am so sorry you went through all that.
I will try and expose her, it’s so hard cos I am not one to openly slag people off I am just more factual and like to explain my feelings. But I do that and I know that I then come off as a nut job to others because they do believe that all the issues are mine alone x

I feel that X I refused to give in to my mother when I got pregnant with my firstborn, she became so upset about everything that wasn't going her way, she ended up threatening to unalive my fiance to my face.
I'm also not one to confront people, but I've also reached a point where I will step up and defend myself or another from someone sharing false information or treating them like crap behind their back. They do not like it, and you don't even need to say anything big, as soon as you plant a seed of doubt in those she's talking to and about behind their back, she will slip and they'll start to see her for who she is. Unfortunately it's not a quick realisation and sometimes takes months+

I’m soo sorry to hear that you went through that love. She was never ever your friend. No one is perfect, and you shouldn’t let her make you feel less than, when she’s clearly a horrible person. It’ll be awkward for some time but it will blow over. You got this. Maybe try making some new friends who accept you for you that will Surely make you feel better x

the thing is she has lots of friends, many more than I do, so I can see why others would be quick to believe the issue was with me. I have lost a lot of confidence in approaching anyone to speak to them either cos I don’t know what they think of me x

thank you. I do think I deserve better but I do put up with rubbish like this for too long thinking they will change also. I do have a couple of friends but she has made me feel less than confident about them so I am just working on deciphering whether me and these other ladies have a genuine friendship. I can’t believe I have to do this at 37 years of age! I am too old for this 🤦🏽‍♀️😢

Don't do anything. Live your life with your chin up and rise above. People like her always get their Karma. Don't give her any ammo to use against you just pretend she doesn't exist.

Don't expose her it will bring more drama u are above her she's obviously miserable we are about the same age I barely have any friends and im ok with that if someone comes along they do

I agree with you both, I am happy with very little friends too and I think the best thing I can do is carry on. The only thing I am unhappy with is the hate for no reason 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes I think that’s the hardest bit. I’ve lost many friends in the past and I think it hits me hard in a lot of ways, ( I do potentially think it must be me) but I definitely don’t feel like it’s much of a loss in terms of what our friendship looked like. Our kids are always calling over to each other over the fence and asking for play dates. I’ve said to my little girl, they are still friends and she can still talk to him, but play dates cannot happen anymore, I am really sorry and she must not ask for one. I feel awful saying that to her. It is awkward enough that my neighbour lets her son climb on his tall slide to talk to my children over the fence cos he tries to interact with me too 🤦🏽‍♀️
I want to report her but I worry it would make things worse between us since I have to live next door to her. It’s really hard to know what to do x

Just to say also, my rabbit died last night, was just 9 days after we returned from holiday. She was elderly ( just turned 10) but there will always be that ‘what if’ in my head, if she has been fed and watered would she still be here. She hasn’t accepted responsibility for not feeding her but that has tainted my feelings towards her massively. I still pray for her but I am mad.

She has sent me a letter, she is taking no responsibility, she is reiterating that I have no friends, she is asking me to stay off her property when talking to my neighbour, she is still putting me down, still reiterating that she is a good friend. Just the standard narc stuff I guess. Shall I just ignore?

she sounds so awful, so sorry you went through that. I’ve just had my neighbour stand outside setting off my cameras for an hour and a half, recruiting monkeys outside, chatting away to our other neighbours for half an hour (the ones who she said she didn’t like and were psychopaths). She is just trying so hard to prove that she is such a nice person after she went off on me the other day and also no doubt putting me down. I think she is trying to intimidate me also. I had to put my blinds down so I could make dinner in privacy. I just wish I could move 😢

That is really horrible, I am sorry you are going through this.

I think that the thing that is hardest about it is that noone would ever believe she was like that to me, the image she presents of herself to the world is totally different & now she will probably take the opportunity to change the narrative to others I am sure. She has been looking after another parent’s child this holiday, it is not something she has ever offered to me even though our children get along, I think she is trying extra hard to prove she is a good friend now cos I said she wasn’t to me. The parent of that child was one of the few parents from school who did talk to me and offered me support, so that really upsets me because she is isolating me further from others. Obviously our neighbours heard her shouting at me, so I made them aware it’s cos I called her out for not being a good friend & she then lost it on me, and they are chatting to her like nothing happened so I feel we have totally lost support there too. At times I have felt suicidal (I am ok now but it hurts).

I have had a situation where my family members were dissing my wife to other family friends. I didn't believe the first person who told me, but the second ended up accidentally verifying a lot of what the first person said. This led to a break between me and my family for seven years, also there were health issues as the stress made underlying health issues much worse for me. After I got pregnant I started reaching out a little. My spouse is ok with me talking to them, but I don't know if it will be more than that. They never really apologized and seem to have forgotten all about it. They don't say garbage in front of me, but I doubt they have gotten any better. And am hesitant to have them interact with my son. Who is to say what they would spread about him? Your neighbors might just be trying to keep the peace and stay off the crazy lady's radar. Narcissist people can blow up at any one, so it might not be that they believe her, but that they are scared of her.

Sorry you had to go through that as well 😢
Yeah I did think that. Apparently that neighbour is doing a course to be a therapist/counsellor and I heard that trained therapists can spot a narc within 5 mins, so perhaps she will start to see that also. I don’t think the other Mum’s at school will see that though, and it’s horrid knowing others are talking about me for no reason. I have seen her blow up at me 3 times now, each time is like a toddler breaking down and each time there has been no real good reason for it 😞 x

But does she act like that with others present or only one on one? I have found having other witnesses handy can keep the narcissist on better behavior

And knowing people are talking about you sucks, but people who actually know you are not going to believe the crap.

No she thought it was just us but she didn’t realise my Mum was visiting and my hubby was wfh, also my neighbour she thought had gone inside but she said she heard, however even though she was vile to me it hasn’t changed how receptive she is to her. The other parents at school think she is lovely. I have spoken my friend from my local church who knows her (she is also the vicar’s wife) and she said she thought she was lovely also, and said had I not have said it, she wouldn’t have believed it but we have a close bond and she knows I wouldn’t lie. It’s everyone else who would never believe it in a million years, except my close friends. She is massively deceptive and I suspect our confrontation (In which I only told her she wasn’t a great friend but it was all personal and directed to me) will get greatly exaggerated to others and I will come across worse because I don’t think she will tell the truth. My husband is quite sure she believes her own lies too.

I definitely know this to be true with narcs also, my brother is domestically violent and has been arrested at least 4 times for domestic violence with 3 partners, (he has also beaten me up before). My narc Mum tells others that his exes were psychotic and he was just defending himself (there is no evidence at all that he was a victim), but he is her golden boy and she has paid good solicitors to get him off the hook with just community service and probation several times now).
She also tells me that I ‘misremembered’ him nearly choking his previous partner to death in my Mum’s home, I had to call the police on him, it is still a really traumatic memory and to be told by your own mother that you would make up such a lie 😢 It hurts. It took me a long time to figure out that that’s what narcs do x