FTM baby not sleeping HELP

It's about timing with newborns. They need to be in a DEEP sleep so a good 10-15 minutes after they close their eyes and then gently putting them down. Lead with their feet and bottom and have their head touch last. This helps to not have them startle. And then keep a hand on their belly and head for another few minutes to help reassure them that you're still there.

It's not going to work all the time but this can help the transition from you to their bed.

Pacifier after laying him in the crib?

Yes Pacifier helped me a lot.

he eventually spits it out and starts crying

I wait 30 minutes and he is in deep sleep. I place my hand on him when I lost him down but still wakes up

Ah you might actually be doing too long. 30 minutes is about the time they start a new sleep cycle! Try shortening the time.

Keep trying and see what works for both As time goes by sleep gets better. It’s truly hard first and second month.

Bless you, I had this with mine and the only thing that saved my sanity was bedsharing! Might not be for you but look into how to do it safely anyway cause a lot of new mums do it accidently out of exhaustion! Lullaby trust, safe sleep 7. Congratulations and well done :)

Keep your body as close to them as you can in the crib transfer.

Could be going through a growth spurt as well. When my LO was around that age, that’s what our doula stated could be the case. Sometimes no matter what you do, if they aren’t “satisfied”, it could be a growth spurt. That coupled with they were held in the womb their whole lives so mommy’s scent/heartbeat is the only thing that helps soothe in the moment. Best of luck; it’ll get better!

My baby slept with me ( firm mattress and followed the safe sleep 7) until he was 6 months and then we transitioned to his crib. It was thr best way for us all to get sleep

Maybe the baby wants to sleep with you, try co sleeping.

Two out of my three babies were like this. They just didn't want to be put down. Basically, you're not doing anything wrong, and it is frustrating and exhausting.
With my third, I decided on doing a mix of bedsharing and in the bassinet. Ironically he was my best sleeper.
Just remember you are both new to this. You aren't doing anything wrong. And you need to figure out the safest and best way for everyone to get some sleep. Also there is a lot more gray area in childrearing than society would want you to believe.

ahhhhh okay I’ll try shorter

that’s what I think part of it is too that he is going through a growth spurt so it’s not making it any easier. He actually just woke up from a nap laying on Dad’s chest.

can you explain a little more on what lullaby, trust and safe sleep 7 is? Yes, I have accidentally slept with him in our bed because I was just so tired. 

@Shirley I did the same and was really anxious until I looked into it! I'll attach some links xx
https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/

https://llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven/

Could he be cold? You said the room is cool but how cool?

Have you tried white noise? Music? Lavender Lotion or Bath/Shower gel?

Perhaps a bassinet that attaches to your bed for safe co sleeping?

It sucks when they struggle to sleep. Sending positive vibes ✨️

Also, maybe try different sleep sacks? Or have one of you put the sleep sack in your shirt to warm it up and make it smell like you?

We recently switched to flannelette sheets as our son was struggling in his cot. Turns out the sheets were too cold. He still occasionally comes into our bed but is so much better in his cot now.

My husband and I did shifts, he slept 8-2 and I slept 2-8. During my shift with baby, I layed on the couch and watched Netflix for 6 hours while he slept and ate on me. (My husband was more firm about trying to get him to sleep in the bassinet at least a couple hours during his shift but I just didn’t have the energy). Either way It was at least a guaranteed 6 hours of sleep for each of us. He wouldn’t sleep in the bassinet at that age but we were firm about not bedsharing. He sleep fine alone in his room now. It will get better, the shifts suck, but they got us through those rough early days. Some babies at that age just aren’t ready to sleep alone without comfort, they’re so used to the womb, but bedsharing isn’t the only option

You can cosleep from birth. Do it on purpose. It's the biological norm, babies don't want to sleep alone. Tons of babies point blank won't sleep alone.