Rude comments

My partners grandparents just popped by I didn't know they were coming the place is a mess it's that simple I have dishes and pans stacked recycling covering the kitchen floor as I'd just done the shopping pile of clothes next to wash basket as I'm sorting through loads and of course toys everywhere because kids. Partner is really poorly at the moment and whilst I was doing school and nursery run I made the quick call of doing shopping but partner didn't know he called his grandad to explain he's really ill could he go to the chemist to get him something that's why they came i just didn't know that. I answered the door to the postie whilst they were here and heard him say to partners grandma look at the state of it. I mean how fucking unnecessarily rude and not needed. I have 3 kids from baby to 6 its fucking hard to keep on top of it all with at the best of times let alone with a really ill partner oldest struggling with school he has special needs a toddler who still doesn't sleep though the night and a baby who's teething and going through a sleep regression plus my own mental health struggles. It's so fucking hard why why say that even if you don't think the person can hear when we were talking I saw him looking around too I feel like even more shit than I did now so that's great. Easy for him he had kids 55+ years ago when the world was a complete different place. He's been retired for a good 10+ years so easily has time to keep up with the household and of course no children living there making usual children mess. Why just why 😭

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I really don’t want this to sound dismissive as I completely understand how frustrating this can be, however, old people, most the ones I know/knew, do not give a fek and they just say things how they are. Your house does sound like a state, but so is mine like this is not abnormal, but old people always comment. My parents/grandparents always do, bc it wasn’t clean to their standards. Learn to hear it with one ear and let it go with the other, it’s not worth stressing over. You are 100% right it’s difficult to keep on top with kids + other circumstances. I’m a single mum of one and my house is also a state most of the time, but I just don’t care if people are phased by it, it’s MY house! Don’t feel shit that they said the truth, if that makes sense?? Again, they’re old, it’s rude to hear it, they probs went through the same stages with their kids and forgot what it was like. My grandma is a savage personally and if something looks crap or she has a problem she will tell you 🤣 X

I have this with my own mum. She doesn't outright say anything, but I can see the eyerolls and the thinned lips.

You're keeping 5 people alive without help right now, which is hard work!. The cleaning will get done eventually, but while your partner is ill it's survival mode time. Just the essentials to get you through the day. Tell your grandad in law he's welcome to roll up his sleeves and pitch in if he's that bothered.

You're doing a great job. xx

We had this with my partners nan and grandad! They would never call our child by his name as they didn't like it so they called him the 'baby'. Turned up the day after I came home after having an emergency c section and lost a lot of blood. All I wanted to do was spend time with my son without being pooked and proded. Made comments about me breast feeding in front of them 🤬🤬 . Made comments about my weight on 4 occasions. In the end my partner flipped with them. As enough was enough. We haven't spoken to them since! Apart from them turning up to his christening and first birthday party uninvited! And then made the comments that the christening was boring because there was no alcohol! They completely blanked me the whole time!

@Emily thank you! I probably would have said something if they hadn't been here to do something of help but it's not needed they spoke to him and couldn't understand what he needed because he was so ill so why think this kind of comment even behind my back is necessary
@Kimmy oh my I'm so sorry that's awful! I've had c sections the recovery can be so hard you didn't need to deal with that. There's simply no need its just rude and nasty I don't care what generation their from

It was awful! My incision opened twice i still get pains in it bow 13 months on xx

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding