Mamas I need helpppp

My baby sleeps through the night in his room alone. He’s 14 months. I started using the crying out method until it worked.

Yes it did break my heart my heart. It’s going to be hard but it does eventually work. Of course it varies because all babies are different. I would only go in for a dirty diaper or to give him another bottle.

Maybe put something in like a shirt that smells like your or have him wear the shirt that smells like you and have him cry it out. I know he’s still a little young to be sleep with stuff so maybe have him wear ur shirt with a sleep sack over it or something like that. I’ve been told that it helps when the baby doesn’t see u. I always had music and lights going in my sons room.

Have you tried to put him to sleep first then transfer him, that’s how I moved my baby on his own, it will hurt your arms and back a lot but for a while you can try that then he might slowly adjust, or you could even wait till he’s really fussy and tired and try to put him with a bottle and leave him in there

I followed the pick up and put down method. My baby is 7 months and has been sleeping through the night since around 5 months. She will wake up occasionally once a night for a feed or a change which I don’t mind as just means she will sleep in longer.
Unfortunately the putting in bed while drowsy didn’t work for me so I rocked her to sleep in my arms, 20 minutes usually in deep sleep.
I will then place in crib. If she wakes up , comfort in crib. If crying, I would pick up until comfort until sleepy…. And place back down. She eventually got used to this and would just be comforted in crib. Now she just sleeps. Think it took around a a few days or a week.
Apparently it’s a form of separation anxiety…. But being comforted reassures then that if they cry you wil be there.
Also should mention I have white noise on… ( raining noise etc ) and rooms is dark.
Happy to help if you have and questions 😊

Cry it out or sleep training is NOT helpful for baby at all. Unfortunately it's marketed as commonplace but most countries actually bedshare and that's normal. Also, so many people ask if they're sleeping through as if they should but 8 months is WAY to early to be sleeping through...maybe a handful do but it is so far from the norm. They are literally hardwired to wake to feed and for safety. Sleep trained babies dont actually sleep through, they just don't alert their caregivers that they've woken up- it's a learned helplessness. They're not crying because they know it won't do anything.

Be encouraged: it is SO normal for them to wake up...and even much longer than this. My son (ebf and in a side car crib so the side is off) wakes once to feed in the night around 18 months or so and has just started mostly sleeping through just after 2.

Remember they have smaller stomachs and need feeding little and often- including over night. Xx

My baby sleeps fine and doctor confirms he’s healthy. Respectfully disagree

I would recommend side car-ing a crib if you have the space so he technically he has his own space (my son started to roll away around 10 months) but you're also right there...much better sleep for everyone for us! Check out the safe sleep 7. Sorry for quick message- about to work.

Ignore the "you'll spoil him" stuff...you literally can't spoil a child with hugs.

I highly recommend Sarah Ockwell-Smith's book on...well, anything. She speaks in clear detail about developmental stages with practical advice and help. A mum and child psychologist.

Feel free to message me- there's so much crazy information out there...baby's need comfort, they can't self-soothe at this age at all- go with your instincts!

Following, 14 month old only ever slept if in our bed 😂

Can't stand Sarah Ockwell Smith. She is about as judgemental as can be and dresses it all up as 'gentle parenting'. Explicitly states that having a c-section is bad, not breastfeeding means you aren't doing best for your baby, you shouldn't send your child to childcare and 'sleep training' in any form is tantamount to abuse. Absolutely no consideration for mothers' mental state.

As far as evidence goes, she cherry picks studies and draws conclusions that are wildly different to that the author has stated. She writes her opinions as though they are facts rather than her opinions. She has no post graduate qualifications and is not a healthcare professional.
She gives the full guilt trip if a parent needs 5 minute break from their child.... then later in the same book says self care is important. She talks about importance of routine at one stage... then at another how babies and children should be allowed to sleep when it suits them.

Her book contains no practical tips apart from "just deal with it" and "co-sleep", even though co-sleeping has been shown to double the risk of SIDS. I was desperate a few times so did it, I woke up with a trapped nerve in my shoulder and a cold because I was too scared to use blankets. Being so tired that I shouldn't even be driving is no good to anyone.

CIO is not learned helplessness. I guarantee you that baby will still cry if he is genuinely hungry, cold, etc. There is a difference between wants and needs. At ~6 months a baby's stomach should be able to see him through the night. If he is waking several times still, it's due to habit not hunger. He does not NEED you to put him to sleep, he is fully capable of learning how to do it himself. Sometimes we just need to get out of the way and allow our babies to learn how to regulate their emotions - a very important skill.

I know the study showing raised cortisol levels, but a) it was done in a scary hospital with pure CIO, b) it totally makes sense, because that is the whole point of self soothing - baby wakes, realises he's not being rocked etc, cortisol rises, then he calms himself, c) a MUCH larger study done in 2012 showed that at age 6, those who were sleep trained were no worse off than those who weren't. In fact, some argue that they're better able to regulate their emotions and have less behavioural problems (though I concede the data is sketchy on this).

Finally, cortisol levels in overtired babies are way higher and for a sustained period of time.

To Olivia, do what's best for your family. You cant pour from an empty cup and getting baby restorative sleep is in his best interests. Not a single study has been able to prove that sleep training is damaging.

There are many ways to sleep train without using crying it out methods if you don't agree with letting him cry for long periods.

Babies easily get into routines so no matter how hard it may be I would suggest to keep attempting the crib every single time no matter what the outcome would be. One day he will be too tired to fight it and he will sleep in his crib then it will happen again then again ect.
( or you can sleep train and accelerate that process )

A big part of sleeptraining is following very carefully wake windows to ensure your baby is just tired enough for this all to happen.

Contrary to what people may say bed sharing is actually not common practice in most countries but is for some mostly under developed countries where access to basinet and cribs is limited. But we're all moms and we all understand that we are just doing what we can and what is best for our babies and ourselves.

I get my baby super drowsy. I put him in the crib awake, roll him on his side and pat his bum until he goes to sleep. He cried for the first week of doing it for fifteen/ twenty mins and now he doses off within five mins. It’s hard to give up because of the crying but then I feel he’s so much better for it in the long run. X