I told my man he needs to start helping me around the house because I came home to a mess and he said “I’ll do it whenever I want, you came in like a raging cunt” after I told him to separate the recycling and clean the baby bottles and whatnot after watching our son for only 2 hours???! Like wtf!
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So, you told him what to do rather than asking him to do it?
We all have to learn our men, but it's always best to show respect in these moments, and then he should reply respectfully and hopefully help you as well.
If you show respect and then get ugly responses, that's where the problem lies, but have you evaluated the way you came in? Did you come in maybe feeling panicked at the sight of things and react in a not so friendly or respectful way? If you were respectful, then he's wrong, but if you weren't controlling your own emotions or felt panicked and maybe showed some disrespect, then show him some grace and have a better conversation about the situation.

Do y'all speak to eachother like this on the regular though?? Because not acceptable at all.
Next time stay gone longer than 2 hours and message him and or call with what you'd like him to do. And if he doesn't attempt even then there's a problem. However am petty. If he'd replied me so foul like that I'd let that go but I'd stop doing things that involve him like his laundry or whatever. But only bubs laundry and when he asks you say you have other priorities first. Also communicate better and tell him to be a respectful cuntt lol 😂