Struggling

You are 100% cut out for this. You are doing amazing, this is the harder job ever and no one understands or appreciates it and every baby is different so don’t compare to anyone else’s journey. Just do what you can to survive. This is a phase that will pass like everything else. Keep going lovely- you 100% have got this. Do you have anyone who helps you out a bit for a break? Xx

First of all he’s happy and content with his mama, he wouldn’t want to be anywhere than with you ❤️ your doing amazing ❤️ keep going you got this ❤️

You are cut out for this my love . It’s hard now but time passes , he needs you 💓

I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. You’re not alone and by reaching out you will realise how much support you have around you. Don’t be hard on yourself. It is hard and right now you’re in the deep of it but it will get easier. A lot of mums find it hard, especially at this stage. And, you’re dealing with a break up too. Please be kind to yourself and know that your baby loves you. You’ve got this. Sending love xx

The young baby phase is intense! But it’s exactly that. A phase. And it will pass. I know it seems tough now but the older they get the easier it gets and you will start find yourself again 🙏🏻 lack of sleep makes us feel like we can’t do it but we can. Keep going 💕

Firstly, I am so sorry that you feel like this. I can honestly say that you are very much cut out for this, purely because it’s obvious you so clearly love Chester just by having the courage to post this 💗
Motherhood is hard and it’s not made any easier by sleep deprivation as a result of regressions. Please please please speak to your GP or HV and they should be able to guide you with ways to help.
Do you have family close by who can help you?
If I lived closer I would offer my help. I’m hoping one of the lovely ladies on here may be in the position too x

First I'm sorry your going through it. I absolutely love the name Chester!!! Maybe he is teething? Try some chewing toys, my girl loves them and it's the only thing that stops her from crying

Is it just recently?? Sounds like the 4mth sleep regression?

Sleep regressions & leaps can make baby more fussy, and more likely to cry and be clingy. Best thing to do is be as responsive as possible, but also rope in some help for now especially if you're feeling this way. It's normal to feel like this in motherhood at some points tbh especially if you don't have the support. We are raising kids on our own when it apparently takes a village. But a lot of us don't have a village so to say. I also think men hugely hugely underestimate how tough it is to be a mother and if it looks like we're doing well they can take that for granted and not actually help. Being a mum is one of the hardest jobs that you show up for even if you don't feel like it and you do your best that day which can look a lot different than other days where you feel more "productive".

Honestly some days just feeding yourself and little one and doing the bare minimum is more than plenty! Ur doing amazing ❤️❤️ be kind to urself xx

I’m so sorry you are feeling like this 😔Do you have any friends/family locally who could maybe take him for a few hours just so you can get some really important ‘you time’? You never know a bit of time to rest up or just take a lovely long shower in peace might make all the difference 😊

There is nowhere better for your baby to be, than with you. The fact you even care about it shows that you are meant to be his mama.
Babies go through these phases all the time. My little girl is generally really happy and then BAM! We have a week do misery.
The rough times will end.
You’re no doubt exhausted and severely sleep deprived. That makes everything seem 10 times worse.
It is the hardest job in the world. But you are doing it.
The hard times will pass and you’ll get those lovely smiles back soon enough.
But please speak to someone for help (GP, HV etc) if you’re feeling like this. Don’t suffer alone.

Love, firstly there’s no better place for your beautiful boy than with you 💕 He loves you and needs you. And yes, on the worst days (when our babies are 4 months old and going completely wild) I think we all wonder if we’re cut out for it… It’s very very easy to doubt ourselves, but we are doing better than we think. Without any kind of support - partner or otherwise - this will feel completely overwhelming and impossible. And with no sleep, it can feel like torture. I’m not sure what’s happened with your partner, but he needs to step up. Maybe he needs support or a nudge from someone outside your relationship to step up, but something has to give. No matter what is happening in your relationship, he has responsibility as a father. You need some respite, and soon - but you are so strong and you can do this. Babies change so quickly - one minute they are crazy grumpy little insomniacs, and the next they are all giggles and sleeping well.

One thing that’s really served me well, is an hours walk with the baby carrier, listening to a good podcast series. Such a good little mental health break, and baby girl gets a good nap! You’ve got this, I promise. I absolutely believe in how strong you are xx

Sorry to hear this! Let me assure you that you’re not failing your baby or as a mother. I have all the support I need, including a husband whos there 100% of the time and my baby still cried most of the day today! It’s a developmental phase and has nothing to do with you abilities as a mother. Honestly, I’m just surviving atm, we all are to an extent!

You’ve got this! Big hugs….he loves his Mummy lots are you are everything (and more) that he needs ❤️X

In the whole world there's nothing your baby wants more than you ❤️
He's going through a phase. Have you got the wonder weeks app at all? It's quite good for explaining about the developmental leaps babies go through. When they're learning something new it disrupts their normal and they can be fussy. It will pass, I promise.

My little girl went through the 4 month sleep regression, 3 weeks- started to sleep through again, was happy and content. Now teething, won’t sleep and is literally a different baby. I have my partner and I feel like this so give yourself a break and just remind yourself this is a phase and you’re doing amazing. When you’re through this next phase you’ll feel settled and happy again, motherhood is such ups and downs! ❤️

You are who he needs to be with ❤️ I'm so sorry you're struggling. It's great you've reached out here but could you do the same with those in your personal life? Even if it's on fb or something - so you can get support from friends and / or wider family?

I really think you could reach out to your HV to see if they can refer you for some support. Being a Mom is the hardest job, let alone facing it alone and during a regression x

It’s hard in 2 so if you don’t have a good support system I can imagine you’re exhausted mama ❤️ but you are irreplaceable for your baby and nobody will love him like you do! Do you have family around? If not would you consider moving closer to them? Also do you have spiritual support? For me my parish is my second family (I’m catholic) and my faith my strength. Take it one step at a time. For me also reading or listening (audible) to empowering books really helps. Tony Robbins or Jim Rohn etc really help me put things into perspective. I have 3 children and know that it does get better each year. If you want to have a chat or need anything contact me dear: 0754487717

This is so sad but I feel exactly the same as you, I love my girl to bits but with my partner working so much it's on me 100% of the time and I'm so drained and feel like I've lost myself, but I look at my baby sleeping and just know it's all worth it, this 4 month baby stage is so hard but it does pass, soon your baby will be sitting and crawling and will be a more pleasant experience, I'd be thinking about leaving my partner if he actively wasn't helping because you have these expectations from him, if he's not around you won't expect anything, get yourself and your baby in to a good little routine, get yourself out even if it's just once a day for a walk, get some music on, I promise you it gets easier 💗 sending you so much love

This stage is hard no one really talks about it but it is, I had forgotten how hard it can be and tonight I sat down on my toddlers floor trying to get him to sleep with his baby sister happy laying on me and just started crying. You will make it past this stage 💕

My baby has been so sad and angry for the past two weeks. It’s been HARD! I’ve cried a lot. I have questioned whether I really wanted it all but we’ve had much happier times the past two days. I honestly felt like my baby hated me! He has always been such an excited boy but we’d lost all that. Having spoken to others, it is something that happens around this age.
I completely understand how you feel. You’re so unhappy but you love your baby more than anything! Please know that it’s a short period. I filmed my baby laughing and kicking his excited legs tonight and sent it to my mum and MIL and said ‘my crazy legged baby is on his way back.’
Look out for those happier moments, film them and then watch them each night. It’s easy to feel like the whole day was bad when in fact there may be slight moments of enjoyment from you both. X

Thank you ladies for your kind words and advise.

Unfortunately I’m a bit short on support. My dad lives close by but I know that everyone else has their own busy lives and I can’t lean on anyone else because of that. I know I love my little one so so much, I’m just starting to feel some resentment and I’m really worrying that I’m not going to be able to be everything he needs. I’m hoping everyone is right and it’s the 4 month regression phase, although we’ve been going through that for a while and it definitely seems even worse the last few days, maybe that’s just complete exhaustion talking though 🤦🏼‍♀️

honestly the first year is the hardest. Even if you get your dad to mind your little one and you go for a half an hour walk. It will help you feel like you can breathe....sleep deprivation is also no joke too so please be kind to yourself. If your baby naps could you try to nap when he does?

Is there any counselling you can use ...even if it's over the phone so you can debrief and maybe use it as some you time and an emotional support at least?

Sometimes a listening ear is worth loads and can help the mental load feel less. Xx

It’s a really tough stage, especially doing it alone so your doing amazingly. It sounds like u need some support as everyone has their limits and it’s amazing how different you feel once having a mental rest, and some sleep too.

Sounds like it’s been a challenging time with break down of relationship too. I’m sure your doing your absolute best, and 4 months in I think it hits you too as change in life/ chronic lack of sleep/ every changing needs of baby/ your body / hormones as well as other worries such as finances etc. Then add a sleep regression / teething and growth spurt into
The mix!.

I would seek help from family or friends and ask them to support u- if possible if not speak to HV/ GP to rule out PPD. Maybe go to a baby group/ play group if your feeling isolated. But think your doing amazing but everyone has their limits it’s really tough, it’s a marathon not a sprint. You can totally do this, you just need support xxxx

You are doing amazing mama! I think the ladies on the post have said it all, you’re everything bubba wants! I just wanted to say as another ftm I had absolutely no idea how hard 4 months would be, everyone told me how hard the new born stage would be and that it gets easier I have found this stage wayyyy harder. I too felt like I didn’t want to bother people in their busy lives but it’s been an absolute necessity these past few weeks, my mother walking baby for an hour while I did house work was just amazing and I’ve found that people do want to help us more than we know. I agree with others that baby groups are really helpful too meeting other mums, if you have any family hubs near you they offer classes and stay and plays for just £1

Motherhood is sooooo hard it’s a shame you are so far from me!! If you ever want somewhere to stay your welcome to come to mine I have a small spare room with a single bed and Moses basket x I would love to help you out, cook for you and let you nap and shower etc I’m so serious if you ever want to take me up on the offer just message me xx or even if you want a chat or rant I can give you my number xx you got thisssss it won’t be this hard forever x

Talk to your health visitor today. That's what they're there for. If you don't have family support near by, they'll be able to suggest other support options for you. Whilst its likely a regression, since you mention its been going on a while, they may also be able to rule out other possible causes (eg, reflux or something). You don't have to do this alone - you need to know where to look for the right support. I'm on my 3rd baby and husband does nothing while they're 'babies' so I know the way you're feeling, it's awful - but you can do it and it does get easier, you do need to find some form of support before your mental health really suffers though x