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Mamas with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

Anger issues.

Should I start anger management causes? If I do, will child services get involved and take my child away? (Have not hurt him)

So I went through a lot of trauma from the ages of 3-19 (sexual, grooming, rape, physical and emotional abuse). I am now 25. I haven't really been able to dive into any of the trauma with professionals yet but I'm pretty sure my past is where my anger comes from and it's taking a toll on my life. When under lots of stress, new changes, more responsibilities etc, it becomes extremely overwhelming and I find it very difficult to control my emotions.

My son and partner have extra needs, my partner has severe anxiety and depression/may be autistic and my son has lots of sensory issues which can be incredibly difficult to have enough patience with, especially with all of his big feelings.

With my anger, I can become very irritated very quickly, be emotionally abusive (say things I really don't mean) hit/slam things, scream and shout, I basically lose control and find it very difficult to calm down. I just want to hurt anything and everything around me 😢 because of my angry outbursts, people close to me are scared and I am scared, of how far I could go.

I don't want this, I never thought I would be like this, i already struggle with depression, anxiety and PTSD, my outbursts makes everything worse and I am really considering either running away or ending my life, but I know my family needs me because despite my issues, I am a good person, a great mumma and partner. I love my family so much but it all gets too much and I feel like I can't do it anymore, I was not equipped to deal with all of this, I really wish I was and that I could handle it all 😞

I'm sorry this post is so long...