Advice needed pls

Not really about mil but her son … he started saying that my duty is to do everything that involves our child and home and his is only to bring money home .. so for her drs appointments he rather be sleeping than taking me so I gotta ask my mom to pls take me for her dentist is the same , I’ve told him before and he sayd that he’s the “money manager “ and I’m the “manager of everything else so I gotta figure out how to get to her appointments “
I’m sick and tired of him but I can’t leave him atm & I’ve tried telling him many times and he usually gets mad or says “fine I’ll take care of her and do everything around the house then so you can relax “ and that he will start helping out once I woke and he has to like ????
he can’t even stay with out child while I grocery shop he stays inside the car in his phone or sleeping while I do groceries
Idk what else to do I’m always getting called a nag for being mad at him 24/7 now cs I’m tired of telling a grown ass man/father what he should be doing aorund the house and asking for help I honestly resent him a lot for it

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Only take care of you and your child. Stop cleaning for him, stop cooking for him, stop washing is clothes. Stop buying his razors , shampoo ect. Toothpaste. Get a job even if you need to find childcare. Its not okay for him to be treating you like this. You deserve better. If you honestly feel alone and can do or be without him then do it. Your only upsetting and hurting your self dealing with his stresse he causing you.

Literally scolded me like a child this morning for not having his lunch packed for him , I told him you have hands to you stayed up late on ur phone you could’ve packed it and he sayd “fine I’ll pack it what’s the point of having a girlfriend then “

Its time to leave girl. This is abuse. Start recording conversations to prove hes being emotionally and financially abusive. Keep a journal i would start with this incident. Your not a slave or his personal maid just because you have a child together..

I would strongly see if you can stay with someone else while you get yourself on your feet. Its so sad we deal with mistreatment for the sake of our children. Most women have gone through this or are going through it ( myself included)

I haven’t left cs he always threatened to take me to court and take my daughter away since his family has money he threatens to get the best lawyer and take her away and also I don’t have anywhere safe for me to go with my daughter my mom lives with her pervert bf and I don’t wanna have my daughter near him

Thats another scare tactic to control you. Thats why I said you need to recordings journals ect. Proof to show the judge. Even if he got custody he most likely won't keep it because he doesn't want to deal with the baby. Hes only goal is hurting you. Its not fair for your child but also her thinking this growing up is normal or okay is not either. Im sorry your going through this.

What does HE do for your child other than provide money?

If money is it, he can provide that whether you are with him or not 🤷‍♀️

I see the comments mentioning to start recording your partner for proof, ect. And while I would also say that that can be incredibly helpful in a case, please be sure to check the legality of it where you live. There are lots of places that require two-party consent to record, and if you live in one of those places and record him without consent, it could cause even more issues for you. Above all else stay safe and do what is going to be best for you and your LO's.

Hahaha he think that he would take you to court and be given custody when he DOES NOTHING for the child now?!? Yeah that’s just him talking shit to scare you. If he doesn’t want to care for his child now he wouldn’t want to if you left.
My advice would be to start secretly putting money aside, look for somewhere to go (maybe see if there is a charity or shelter that can help you) and move out ASAP! It will never get better and he is a lazy, abusive POS! X

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

Toddlers

How often are your toddlers asking for food? My oldest who is 3 just finished a whole plate of food and not even 10 minutes later he’s requesting more food. I know he’s going through a growth spurt, but how do you respond to this.