After having this second baby. How can I clearly tell my mother in law to not ask if I’m going to/still breast feeding every single time she has the chance to speak to my husband?

I had asked him to tell her not to ask me if I’m still breast feeding when I had my first child. But I can still hear the conversation they had on the phone and she always still said “I know you told me not to ask her but can I ask you if she’s still breast feeding?”
How can I tell her plain and clearly to not ask about it at all due to the stress and pressure it causes me. I hate to blame someone else but in a real one I wasn’t able to produce because I was so stressed about peoples opinions of me forcefully trying to breast feed my child. It didn’t feel natural to me after that pressure from her. Even my own mother knew better than to ask me. The way I am (it might sound bad) but I’ve always been the type to do the opposite of what ppl tell me I need to do. It’s a pressure thing for me.

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I wish!! The way she is, she’d laugh at me and taunt me for it.
I told her I never want to cut my sons hair rn and she threatens that she’ll take him to Tijuana to get a hair cut and when I smile and say “no youre not” she laughs so hard that I get serious. I’m literally a joke to her. It’s just in her nature with the way she was raised I guess.

she is old school mexican and will recommend any “remedy” in the book even if it makes me fat.
I totally appreciate your support girl. Thank you so much. I’m seriously going to have a script of lines written up ready for every time she asks me so she can get a clue to just not. And the fact that I actually want to try but nothing produces just really sucks. You’re so right, as long as the baby is being fed and not starved by my dry breast, then I should be OK.
I wish I can just tell her no I’m not going to breast feed. But I don’t want to put myself in that mindset either, you know? I want to try, but without her damn old school pressure

She’s honestly ridiculous. After my first was born, docs told me specifically not to put anything on the umbilical cord. And as soon as she’s on the phone with us she makes sure to tell us to put alcohol on it. Like what! Lady you do not have a degree to tell me this. She also warned me to keep a beanie on him and not have him under the fan because the air will go through his crown and cause colic. Doesn’t make any sense lady. I can’t listen to her. She’s delusional and controlling. I’m so not ready for that second wave of her redundancy 😅

AND THEN… she has the nerve to ask me if she’s a toxic mother in law in front of her whole entire family putting me on the spot. Even her own brother told her not to answer those questions and she responded with “oh I’m only joking. But am I?”
Like clearly if you have to ask, then it’s a yes.
I obviously just laughed awkwardly and said no. That was horrible she had to ask that and after the death of my grandfather too. So unsettling

yeah period. And that’s exactly why she earned the right to not know about my second pregnancy. I’m glad we joked about it to her too so we can see her reaction. And after joking about it, a week later we find out we’re actually preggers 😂 I love that for us. Things happen for a reason. And no I can’t count on him to always stick up for me behind my back. He only does it for certain things. Other than that, he is whipped. But I am just grateful he is atleast on board with us keeping this hush hush to avoid her dramatics

I appreciate your advice. I’m going to stick to it.
Wow like anyone can afford a nanny these days. Jeez. I’m sorry for her. All I know is that she’s teaching me what not to do to my kids when they grow older. And that’s probably why all her kids rebelled as teenagers because she was so strict as a parent.

Cut ties. Straight up don't talk to her. My mate copped a mouthful from her mum with both her kids because she couldn't breast feed. Her mother called her "lazy" and "a bad mother" ... HER OWN MOTHER! So she hasn't met her second grandchild.
Frankly, if people can't respect the boundaries you've set, then they can fuck off until they learn some manners. If your husband can't back you up on your wishes, then he's just as much to blame. If he wants to see his mum, he can go to HER house.
Put your foot down babe. You don't need to take this shit. Motherhood is stressful enough without the pressure from other people weighing you down. You asked her nicely, now TELL HER firmly.

Your husband needs to be telling her not to ask!! « That’s really none of your business, Mom. »

She can ask as long as she’s not given an answer.
He needs to say “that’s none of your business”. To her.

Tell her that her pestering you will cause you to stop breastfeeding and then she’ll be to blame.

Also, there’s a post on here about a MIL cutting a baby’s hair and that child ended up in the hospital with over 200 stitches and now won’t ever be able to grow hair over the scar tissue. I believe that MIL is heading to jail over that.

So maybe start being more aggressive with your MIL and let her know that you aren’t playing around and you aren’t bending.

Tell your husband to stop her from asking you that.

When she asks start asking her questions that would make her uncomfortable in return.

Eg. When was your last pap smear? Have you pooped today? How many times a day do you fart?

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

Calpol

My mum has just given my 4 year old calpol because he asked for it. He isn’t poorly (although was last week, been fine this week) he just likes the taste of it. My mum didn’t check, didn’t ask, just gave it to him and when I’ve questioned her she said “he asked for it”. Then quizzed 4 year old who said he asked for it because it tastes nice.

How would you react?