Sex and Relationships with Railey Molinario

Insecurity/Retroactive Jealousy/Intrusive thoughts

I’m asking this from the perspective of people who have truly dealt with it. I’ve noticed people who haven’t, seem to be a bit more judge mental of those who have in my honest opinion.

Let me start off by saying, my boyfriend loves the absolute heck out of me. You would think that’d be enough to get over the intrusive thoughts of someone’s past and move on, but if you’ve ever struggled with retroactive jealousy, you know how hard it can be.

I made the mistake in the past of asking my boyfriend about his past and I will never make that mistake again. Lesson learned.

But I cannot get over the fact my boyfriend had a past before me, had sex with other girls before me, and so on. With him being 11 years older than me, I even struggle sometimes with just thinking about how much more life and experience he got to have before having a baby. I don’t regret our son AT ALL. But sometimes it really is hard to think of all the fun times and LIFE in general he got to have before he fully and finally settled down.

I need some input. How do I get over the intrusive thoughts? Because no matter what reassurance I ask for and receive, it will obviously never be enough. And it’s not my partner, because I know these thoughts would happen in any other relationship as well. TIA.

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My bf is 13y older than me, so I feel you. Try to get to a place where you completely trust him and appreciate what you have together. I still have so.e thoughts once in a while but it helps to reassure myself that I trust him and I know whatever happened is stays in the past.

My husband and I are the same age but he was a fuck boy before we met. He’s gorgeous so his numbers are in the hundreds.

When we first got together, I was deep in the feelings of disbelief that he actually was trying to settle down and had constant random pangs of jealousy surrounding his escapades. I would emotionally distance and badger him about his intentions. Although he’s never given me any reason to distrust that he is all in, it wasn’t until we were married that I felt he truly was in it. We’ve been together for 6 years. I still get jealous, every now and then, thinking about the crazy sex life he had before us but then I look at the life we’ve built and I think he could have had this with someone else but he doesn’t, it’s just us—then I feel a little better.

Let’s not forget love is a battlefield. What the eyes don’t see or ears don’t hear ., can’t kill u or bring u down. So leave it in the past where it belongs. Life is beautiful and when that 1 special person You’ve longed for walks into ur life. He who whould go to the moon for u. Die for u and go to the ends of the earth for u that’s really all the confirmation u need to stick it thru. Why fight that. Everyone has a past. We shouldn’t be labeled by the life we once had. There’s always gonna be something be emotional or mental that’s gonna trigger negative thoughts. how u deal with those thoughts r really up to u. Once u open that door of the past. Ur gonna be stuck there. So WHY EVEN OPEN THAT DOOR at all. If he loves you and shows u with not only words but also with actions that he’d go to the moon for u. Don’t let urself be another page in his past. Hold on to the good times and work on seeing him for who he is. And what he’s brought to the table for YOU.!!

I know it’s a lot to take in. I speak from personal experience being the one accused or shamed for having a past myself. Boy did he make me cry every day. Made me feel like shit. I wasn’t a hoe. my number is 12 at 40 .,! I did know him since I was 14. We eventually lost touch. He got incarcerated for 6 years When we reunited I already had 2 small kids. He was extremely insecure I wasn’t his first. his struggle was feeling he wasn’t enough. Or fear of being abandoned. 16 years later we still have our struggles. Once in a while He’ll say a comment here or ther. And I just let him be. I listen but I don’t let it bother me enymore. I learned years ago to leave him in Gods hands. I CANT do enything but reassure him Like Babe. U are enough for me. And I Love u with every beat of my soul. But If I gotta walk out on u it’s only temporary. He knows it. But he also knows I’m his ride or Die and our Love today is alot stronger because of our struggles and flaws.

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do