Me and my partners relationship is failing, he has always supported us and has Fallen out of love for me. And even admits he is not in love with me. I am still absolutely in love with him. This leads to so many pointless fights over stuff that we could’ve communicated about, and he has 0 respect for my opinions or boundaries. He lacks in all emotional aspects of our relationship, yells at me for everything, never wants to hear me out. Again just lack of respect and love. Where as I constantly do everything to make sure he is happy and loved. That I feel like I’m giving all of myself to a relationship that doesn’t even exist. And it hurts. We want to fix it and havnt given up yet which I feel like has to stand for something. We have a 6 month old daughter. And we don’t want to just throw in the towel. We come from very different family dynamics. Both our parents aren’t together. But I came from a healthy supportive family. And he came from a family with drug use and neglect. So I’ve seen and know what love should look like. But he’s only seen yelling and fighting and hatred. That I feel like that’s why he will treat me so badly. I have no clue how to fix this or what steps to take. He’s agreed to start therapy. And thinking of doing couples therapy. I feel like separation could be good because he always says I don’t do anything that I hope it will make him realize what I actually give in the relationship. But he doesn’t want to separate. Does anyone have any advice or opinions. Sorry if this is all over the place my mind is so scrambled. If you have any questions or want better understanding I will give it. Thank you in advance.
Read more on PeanutThe views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
Therapy and if that doesn’t work admit y’all did everything you could to fix it and move on

he may need couple therapy and individual. good luck
yes that’s what we discussed tonight… he needs to learn to heal from his childhood and how to control his anger cause I’ll be damned if my daughter grows up thinking how he treats me is love…

Read up on attachment styles. Secure or insecure attachment styles form in childhood depending on the caregivers a person had, and affects how they deal with relationships in adult life.Talk to him about the different styles ( there are 4 or 5) and ask which one he feels like he aligns with.
Another advice, u mentioned that u give him evryting to make him feel happy and loved, but that is likely not true. U probably are giving all ur effort and have the best intentions and are doing for him what u think is the right way to show love, but men have different needs. They want to feel respected a lot more than loved. This is very difrerent from the needs of us women. Try telling him "i respect you" more than "i love you" and u will see a big difference. Let him make decisions and when there is dispute, yield to doing things his way. Dont argue because men feel emasculated when arguing happens. They feel that they are being talked down to, or at the worst, feel disrespected which is like women feeling unloved.

A big game changer is this: ask him "what are some things i can do or not do to help you feel more respected?" And you might see him really open up here and u can gain a lot of good insight into what his true needs are. It can really help ur relationship. Seperating will deteriorate ur relationship, not help it (my opinion) and as much as u hope that it would mKe him realize things, its not what will happen. This sounds hard ti hear maybe but i believe that relationships can heal and rekindle when we work toward what works.