My 4 year old boy says he wants to be a girl

When they hit puberty

I would keep asking more questions if he keeps saying that.

My daughter said the same thing around that age. We told her something along the lines of "if that's what you decide/how you feel as you get older then we will support you" and explained in a way she could understand that some are born one gender but in their brain and heart they feel like the opposite or like they don't fit into either category. And we always make sure she knows things like color, clothes, toys, activities (like nail painting) etc don't have a gender and anyone can do them.

at 4? It's not concerning. Try asking more questions but at this age they're figuring out that there's differences and what they are. Could be as simple as he likes the dolls his sister gets and doesn't understand that boys can get them too not just girls.

Just say but you’re not a girl, children have always done this and not grown up to want to transition or be gay or anything. Don’t feed any attention into it !

At age 3 my son suddenly said he wanted to be like mommy and have a vagina when he grows up 😂 i didn’t have any concerns about it. Believe me he’s said a lot weirder shit than that 😂 😂 😂 I was just like “oh yeah?” And he never brought it up again. Now he’s gone the opposite direction. I’ve called him beautiful since the day he was born and the other day I called him beautiful at breakfast and he laughed and said “what?! I’m not beautiful I’m not a GIIIIRL!!” He probably just heard something from the other kids at school. I just told him boys can be beautiful too. Anyway, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Toddlers will be toddlers.

No, he’s 4. He probably is thinking something a girl does or his sister does is cool. There’s no way I would take my 4 year old seriously if she said she wanted to be a boy. They are four. They do play and pretend at that age. They should be allowed to just be kids.

It could be just a phase. I wouldn’t take it serious for a long time lol

I think a lot of kids say they want to be the opposite gender and there are a lot of factors at play as to why!!

My 4 year old use to tell me she wanted to be a cat and purr I think they’re just little and your right he could have heard it or just wanted maybe attention his sis gets

I would actually leave it alone. Kids also say they want to be Spider-Man, Superman, firefighters, zebras, doorknobs and other things they find interesting around these ages. Why is that when they say this one thing we suddenly decide we need to probe? No one goes out and starts researching horn implants when they say they want to be unicorns or stripe tattoos when they say they want to be tigers. Kids have active imaginations and fantasy lives. I wouldn’t make a deal of it one way or the other. He wants a doll, give him the doll. He wants to wear a tutu, he can wear the tutu. If he’s still on the wave when he’s 13 we can chat about it but until then it’s a whim just like just about everything else in their lives.

I would definitely get more information about it online if you can. I think letting him bring it up and not peppering him with questions is a good idea. You want to make sure everything is coming from him. But there are some kids who feel really strongly about this at a young age, and continue to assert it. If he keeps doing it, do some research and try to find other people who’ve been through it.

I wanted to be a fire hydrant when I was four. Needless to say I out grew it. Some people don’t outgrow gender identity issues but that is a small group of people. Don’t make it a thing. The last thing you want to do is subconsciously influence his decisions in this area. Give him a chance. Even puberty is a bit soon. Gender reassignment surgery is sterilization. A 13 year old doesn’t know if they want children when they grow up. I know people who are transgender presenting without gender reassignment surgery because they want to have biological children.

My friends 5 year told me she was a dump truck the other day.. and she was adamant about it and angry if I didn’t agree.

So please do not encourage something without knowing if it’s true or not, just be accepting if and when the time comes and it is something he meant.

I know many may not agree but my hot take is I am against the whole new age gender thing for children. They are born the way they are born. Let them decide when they are old enough to understand and realize the consequences that come with changing genders. Kids say all kinds of crazy things because they are still learning about the world and language and may not mean things the way we take them. I wouldn’t worry to much about it and just keep on living and loving your baby.

When my little sister was 4, she wanted to be "some titties" when she grew up. 🥴😩🤦🏽‍♀️ She's in her 30s now.. Granted, she does HAVE titties, however, her career path, is in the medical field. 😂😂😂🤣🤷🏽‍♀️ I hope this helps. 😘

I would check in every once in a while. Make it normal, a choice he can make if he wants to.

Maybe ask casually while clothes shopping if he wants to chose a dress for himself.

Maybe a while later ask if he wants to be called a girl, would rather a different name.

I wouldn't hound him about it.

But a casual comment monthly and if he says no and doesn't mention it again after a few months I'd drop it until he brings it up himself.

Just don't make it a thing. There's nothing wrong with it, but you want him to know that too without feeling pressured

Please do research this carefully. The markers are: are they consistent(ie: they say the same thing again and again), persistent(continually saying it), and insistent(absolutely certain of what they’re saying)? Then maybe yes. Even if they’re not yet, please do accept what they’re saying in this moment as true for them. Ask curious questions “Oh. I heard you say_________, can you tell me more?” “What makes you say that?” Etc. Make sure they know you’re a safe place to bounce these ideas. They might be serious, they might just be trying out an idea, they might also be just spitballing(as kids often do). You can never go wrong by taking them seriously. As someone wise once said “Listen carefully to all the little stuff your kids say, because if you don’t, they won’t trust you with the big stuff later. To them, it’s all always been the big stuff.”

I wouldn’t ask no questions … you were born a boy so you can’t be a girl and that’s it …. Move on … don’t dwell on it …. When he gets older he will know what he wants and he will express that but until then that’s what I would tell me son. You were born a boy … simple. What kind of questions can anyone ask a 4 year old lol … I wouldn’t worry … if he does want to talk about it tho I encourage the convo …. But make sure you ask open ended questions so you can listen to his words …. His truth … so you can see what he’s thinking and feeling

Thats sooo interesting!

My 4 years old kept saying he wants to be a princess no matter how much I explained the difference and it worries me too.

Buy him a crown. If you notice that when girls get to dress up they will get a crown with just about any outfit. My daughter has princess, mermaid and unicorn crap and it all comes with crowns and wands. He may just want the crown and scepter. He would become the Burger King.