Struggling

He needs to take her to court. He also needs to file harassment charges. Allowing this behavior to continue will only embolden her to do more. Keep all communication in text and email. No phone calls unless you’re in a one party state that doesn’t require her authorization to record. Continue doing everything to the letter regarding child support, etc, maintaining communication and being a great father and take her to court. God only knows what toxicity she is giving this child in her home. Ignoring this will not get you anywhere. I’ve dealt with this personally with my husbands ex wife and we took her to court and won. I hope things get better for you.

that’s why I need to ignore it . I tried fighting that fight and he doesn’t listen to me . She always ends up getting her way . Thank you ❤️ I’m just tired and frustrated

I’m sorry that’s happening. I told my husband from day 1 that I won’t put up with that drama and bs. It causes unnecessary stress and resentment in the home and relationship.

100% agree with !
Unfortunately as a step parent the only thing you can do is disengage from that situation if your husband won't listen to you. He might have some fathers guilt over the situation and he might benefit from some therapy if he'll consider going. If your husband is just taking it then he might be feeling on some level that he deserves this abuse from his ex. He might not consciously know about these issues so be careful bringing this theory up with him and find ways to help him come to this conclusion on his own by responding to questions you ask him to see if he might be going through this cycle. Helping your husband understand the why he is allowing her to be abusive towards him might help empower him to stand up to her and tell her enough is enough and he won't be mistreated by her anymore.

Stay out of it. She is scorned. Nothing yall do will be ever enough!!! Focus on You both joys!!! Ignore!!!!

thank you for this because this is exactly what I think I just don’t know how to feel sad and sympathetic without being extremely angry towards her , specially when I know my husband needs support and not anger to fuel the situation

Boundaries. Block her number and communicate only through the co-parenting app. Communicate only when necessary. Sorry you’re both going through this

in my own experiences with HCBM I used to be furious all the time with her for emotionally/mentally abusing my husband and my step son. This woman sent a pillow with her face on it to keep in my step sons room while he sleeps... totally inappropriate and invasive since we don't have a good relationship with her and the sight of her is upsetting to my husband, our children and myself because of the damage she's done and continues to try to cause to us. What helped me I'd to disengage from the situation as much as I can. Now I don't have any contact with her at all (I used to be kind and send extra pictures of my step son to her) and I solely focus on supporting my husband and step son when those negative interactions arise. I had to train myself to not care as much about how awful of a person she is so I can be better at comforting them during those times. Maybe this might help you. I highly recommend reading about step parent disengaging. I do a hybrid version of it and ramp it up as needed.

I agree with all these ladies especially . My spouse and I have been together for 5 yrs and HCBM stillllll making her self relevant to the point of keeping the child for over a year. We are currently in court now trying for joint custody and she still doesn’t want to agree with things and now they are I mediation.

This entire time I thought it was her mad about what he doesn’t do and this that and the third but he do what she say he doesn’t do and more and she stillll have something to say I’m now after 5 yrs realizing it’s jealousy and it’s NOTHING my man or myself can do to make her happy.

She’s using the child as a pawn to continue to bitter. It sounds like you all are in a different state so obviously he can’t be a full time dad so what he’s doing is all he can do due to the circumstances and should stop feeling guilty about it. But that may take time for him as it took my man some years. HCBM can be so manipulating and use the child to get their way …

It’ll be much easier for her to send child with you all full time or go to court but instead she chooses to keep things the way they are for POWER don’t let her run laps in your head trying to figure it out because you won’t . She doesn’t want to see your spouse happy and she will do ANYTHING to make shit difficult because she’s unhappy

yea this is facts, my husband is in training in the military rn and doesn’t even get to see us but once a month . But she had the audacity to say “other military members are better coparents”. My oldest has a different dad who left when she was 3mo . I cannot comprehend why she is so rude and ungrateful. I was a single mom for 2 years and she has no idea how hard it can be or how good she has it 🙃

Yesss I’m sorry you’re witnessing your spouse going through that and I hope it gets better. Try to ignore her as best as you can. Her intentions are to make things difficult