Struggling, please tell me I'm not the only one!

My LO was born on 6th Jan (41+2) following an induction. I found labour very traumatic, and before LO was even born, I had around 5 broken hours of sleep in a 60-hour period. The first night on the ward after birth was awful, my husband was allowed to stay but after him also being asleep deprived and there being no space for him to rest (bar a hard plastic chair) he went home. I didn't expect the ward to be so chaotic, a shared bay with other tired mummas and their LOs. It was just constant crying from all the babies around, and I had about an hour rest there.

We were allowed home the next day, but it just doesn't feel how I pictured it. I miss my life, I miss my husband (even though we still spend a lot of time together).

Our LO will only sleep if he's on one of us. Each time we put him in his moses basket downstairs or his next to me upstairs, he will cry. We've tried ignoring the crying, but it's persistent, and he sounds so distressed, so we comfort him, and he will settle again only if we hold him.

I feel so tired, but I'm really struggling to be apart from my husband when we share duties. I had a bereavement just before the LO was born, and my comfort has just been my husband and me needing to be around him constantly to lessen the anxiety. He's so understanding and would do anything to help me, but we're just finding it hard to get the right balance of spending time together and splitting time into 'shifts' of caring for the LO and us sleeping.

I'm dreading when he goes back to work in 2 weeks' time and would like to try to establish some kind of routine/method to make things more manageable.

At the moment, all I do is cry and feel so much guilt for not enjoying what I thought would be the most amazing time and bubble of just us.

I've spoken to the midwife who says it's normal to feel this way after giving birth, but it doesn't feel normal.

I'm really doubting I can do this.

Is anyone else experiencing this or previously experienced it? What helped? Does it get better?

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Firstly it’s been 3 days you need to not be so hard on yourself right now. Secondly you need to establish a routine it’s hard but it will help keep some order to your life. Your sleep deprived which doesn’t help but honestly these feeling subside even in a week or two. I’m sleep deprived but coping currently as we get a couple of hours at a time. Just remember the first few days/week is the worst adjustment you do find your feet. Be kind to yourself!!

I was the same! Still am 3 weeks in with my second but it has lessened! I'm currently up for the first day without partner as he started work today. It does get better and to repeat above. Be kind to yourself the first week those hormones have a lot to answer for! X

Wow - this is almost as if I wrote this myself - I had these feelings too but it does get easier / less often. I’m struggling with breast feeding at the moment and don’t know if I can continue to do that but I have really bad brain fog at the moment and just can’t seem to get my head round formula feeding. I feel trapped in the house as don’t feel confident breast feeding in public because I struggle so much to latch properly
It’s a lot of adjust to and I think we have to be kind to ourselves, nothing lasts forever, the feels should subside or get easier but keep talking and finding help from people

Oh hun I was the exact same until around day 10 and something just lifted! You’re not alone and it will get better even if you can’t see a way out at the moment ❤️ make sure you have a good support network around you xxx

I promise you things will feel better and a little easier even in 4 or 5 days and then again a few days after that. It is a process- my baby is now 12 days old, she was born after 60 hour induction so I had no sleep for almost a week either and then you go home with a new born. From day 2-9 I was a wreck I cried multiple times per day I was so hormonal and sleep deprived. These past few days the hormones have settled and although still shattered I feel much more me. Baby will settle a little more and little by little you will be able to grab a hot coffee here or have a shower or pop to the shop and you feel yourself coming back here and there in those moments ❤️

I have a 2 week old and a 5 year old, the newborn stage I forgot how hard and exhausting it is but honestly it gets better and you'll forget all these struggles your feeling in a few months.
Keep doing what your doing and keep your chin up it will get easier 🤍

It's completely normal.. I was the exact same it gets better even when it feels like it won't.. Will last 3 to 4 weeks maybe less if its persistent go to your gp as it could be postnatal depression, iv been diagnosed with this when my baby was 3 weeks old and the medication really helps I'm almost back to myself now 2 weeks later xx

Day three post birth a known as the ultra emotional hard day so take a pause and breath. I think most of as have been where you are and I promise it doesn’t last. I would suggest trying a good nap (2 hrs) each day. Sleep deprivation is cruel but it honestly gets better as your body adjusts. You could always put baby monitor on where hubby is so you know he’s still around to ease your mind? For getting little one down, we did white noise and an item of my clothing down first (literally take off the top I’m wearing at the time) and swaddling. ❤️❤️

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