Just want to know if I’m wrong for feeling upset

Basically, my parents and my mil both constantly trying to teach us how to raise our child. Always, saying how they know how it should be. Yesterday, was my mils bday and we went out to restaurant. It was my parents, my in laws, my sis and my sis in law, my husband, me and our child. It was in the evening and so our child was kinda overwhelmed. He was walking around the restaurant the whole time, then found a bathroom and kept going every few min to wash his hands. Me, my sis and my husband kept taking turns getting up and bringing him back. We were there for almost 3 hours and we were just mad tired. We barely got to eat our dinner. We missed a dessert too because we were trying to catch our child and ended up being left without desserts. But not my parents nor my in laws once got up to help. On one hand I know they don’t have to but on the other if they all so smart and constantly try to tech us, why didn’t they show their knowledge yesterday

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Did you ask them to help and watch your child for a few minutes I think they could have helped but I also think you could have put your child in a high chair or just in a chair and make him stay so you could eat instead of getting up e wet few min. My son will walk around a bit but when it’s time to eat it’s time to eat especially at a restaurant. How old is he

I didn’t ask for help, nor did my husband. My sister herself volunteered to help. My parents and in laws were kinda acting like they had nothing to do with us. He just turned 3. It’s just he doesn’t sleep during the day anymore and so towards the end of the day it all adds up for him on top of that he’s a very picky eater

Annoying!!! They could have saved a piece of desert for you guys! At least your in laws and your parents are getting along

haha true, they don’t exactly get along. My mil has no filter so at times it gets hard around her and my parents try to hold it in

Yea I see what you are saying. If they always have advice or want to “show you the way” on how to take care or raise your child or children, the least they could’ve done was give a few pointers or helped out in a real life scenario where the child in this case is not sitting still. Seems like they may be picking and choosing when to give advice or help out when it’s convenient. It may be that it was inconvenient for them to help out because then they wouldn’t have really enjoyed the time either but if you all were there working together as it should be. Then there would have been less of a load on you guys

I think if you were finding it difficult with your LO maybe you should of rescheduled or just left earlier and had something at home, I understand it’s for an occasion but if your LO is tired and overwhelmed and unsettled it just makes everything more stressful than it needs to be or next time just ask to make it earlier. Would your LO not sit in a high chair with some toys or something to watch?

It’s the same thing with my husbands grandparents. They’re constantly trying to tell me when to feed our son, bathe him, change him and all this (even though I know how to take care of our child). When it comes to doing anything hands on then they want no part of it. I’ve sat them down many times and told them to stop but to no avail.

The problem is if you want them to stop giving you advice (wanted or not) then they are going to think you asking them to stop helping all together unless you ask for it.

I wonder if it's because it was both sets of grandparents together so they didn't speak up in front of the other. I.e. when it's one set of parents alone with you it's less audience for alternative advice.
Personally I don't take the kids out for dinner. They're simply too tired to manage a restaurant environment by the evening. I always suggest lunch else one adult will come to dinner.

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.