I need to vent 😭

I want to leave my husband but he has no where to go… his brother 36 years old lives (and his 2 kids part time) with his mom which is where he normally goes…

I’m done with my marriage.. he is a 35 year old MAN CHILD…

he has a job but doesn’t work (he’s only been at this job for 2-3 weeks). He doesn’t help me out with cleaning or with the kids. He hasn’t worked since last Wednesday. He got ā€œsent homeā€ Monday, he called off yesterday and ā€œgot sent homeā€ again today even though he didn’t come straight home.. he went to a gas station on THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN (that he use to work at *He ā€œquitā€ the gas station for this job because I left him twice over that job*) that a girl I’m pretty sure he was having at least an emotional affair with. He never once told me he got sent home from work and instead of coming home he went there to see her. (I only because he 1) didn’t spend any money there and 2) went to the gas station we ALWAYS go to that’s a block away from our house)

Then he comes home and is pissy towards me for no reason and he went straight upstairs and went to sleep. That was 8am he slept until 4pm still acting pissy with me we ate dinner as he played video games with his brother and at 8pm he went to bed ā€œfor work tomorrowā€ (at 7am). So I had to bathe our two year old and our 2 month old and the two year old put to bed. Now I’m taking out the trash that he walked past and looked at 800 times to go smoke.. i can’t do it anymore…

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Giiiiirl, do it! kick his goofy ass out. You are doing double the work and at this point he is just in your way. Causing YOU unnecessary stress and not being very responsible.

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thank you!! I know!
We have 4 kids the older two are in after school activities, then the two year old and two month old thats exclusively breastfed.. I’m going to school and working from home. We are supposed to be renovating our house but he keeps putting it off and making excuses why he can’t do it (he gets every single weekend off and again has been off since LAST Wednesday he could have gotten stuff done… I’m exhausted. Just because I can do everything on my own doesn’t mean I should have to… I thought that’s why I got married was to have a PARTNER..

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To top it off I’m 2 months postpartum so of course I’m still a little insecure about the extra weight and skin sticking around and he’s on social media sites looking up fitness models, adding/following random girls, watching an excessive amount of porn. And then telling me to ā€œstop being insecure and crazyā€

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EXACTLY!
Omg you are a literal superwoman! Breastfeeding with all these kids AND working AND school. Idk how you’re doing it but YOU ARE DOING IT. I know that you’re aware of your self worth. Don’t waste your time.

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

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AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

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Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

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If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

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Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for ā€œselfishā€ reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

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