How would you feel.?

So me and my man are smoking some lamb and we’re drinking and smoking while the kids are asleep and he’s like what you didn’t grab my cigarette and I said no am I your slave and he goes yeah you’re my life because you stay home and do nothing and I pay for everything. I was going to go off on him and tell him like I’m not no slave but I didn’t want to start a fight. But how would you handle this comment!?

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Don’t do ANYTHING for him… since that’s what he thinks-let him live that reality

Honestly, I'd be pissed. No man should talk like that to his wife. I wouldn't do a damn thing for him until he apologized.

but the thing is if I said like that hurt me or I didn’t like how you said that I literally stay home with your kids 24 seven he would he would pretty much laugh at my face. I can make sure he has water at night and make sure his clothes are laid out for him at work and make sure his lunch is packed and he used to tell me because he’s Puerto Rican. He goes well Mexicans make sure their husbands lunch or packed but I’m like I’m not Mexican I’m white OKand he showed me numerous times that he does not deserve me to take time out of my day to make him lunch or make him dinner because the way he treats me and I just I’m getting so fed up

Ehhh it's kinda hard to say. My husband says things like that and 99% of the time, he says it to see me riled up for fun. Buuuut, he usually makes a point to say he's kidding.

He didn't say anything else?

I would wait to bring this up when y'all are both sober, so you can better check his reaction. Hopefully it's nothing. Or hopefully he eats his words and apologizes asap. If he doesn't, show him what it's really like for you to sit around and "do nothing" at home.

Hope it works out.

Ok, I'm gonna go on record and say: tell him to go fuck himself and stop using being Puerto Rican as a freaking excuse. It gives Puerto Ricans a bad name. (I'm Puerto Rican.)

Yes, they are very chauvinistic. My best friend's first husband was exactly like that. My bf had to lay out his clothes and fetch everything for him. He'd be standing next to the fridge and call her from the next room to get him water. I couldn't stand it. But things have changed and PR is much more progressive, so tell him to stop his shit and get with the times!

Also, feel free to pm me if you wanna chat ☺️

I'd leave. Nobody should ever speak to you like that. EVER

the crazy thing is he says a lot worse he would tell me that he makes money and he provides for the kids that he doesn’t have to take care of the kids when he’s home he’s right now home on like a little miniature vacation and he wants to just sit there and play video games and not deal with the kids but it’s like where’s my time where is my miniature vacation? I don’t get one but he tells me that I’m better off dealing with the kids because I’m good at It.

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Nah this is not cool.

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.