Am I overreacting??

Me and my partner had our baby boy 3 weeks ago on Wednesday, he’s a very fussy and hungry baby, as you can imagine it gets exhausting.

Last night I asked my partner to come to bed with me and the baby at 10pm, so I could have support dealing with him, my partner refused and said he wanted to game, he helped me bathe and change our son but went back downstairs to play on his Xbox, I settled the baby and tried to sleep, he did 1 feed in the night and I did the rest, I woke up at 8am with the baby to take him downstairs and dad woke up at 20 to 2pm, I had gone upstairs to wake him up but he was laying in bed on his phone, never came downstairs.

This afternoon he’s been on the Xbox again, I’ve done every feed but 1/2 today and every single nappy change, I needed the bathroom and a bath and my partner told me to stay downstairs whilst the baby was fussing to try and settle him, he said “I’m busy” and I replied with “no, you’re just playing a game” and he responded with “don’t start that shit”, eventually, after making a bottle the baby settled enough for me to go upstairs and have a bit of time to myself.

My partner is off for 1 more week (which I had to use my savings to cover the lost earnings), I am severely struggling with my mental health, when he sees I’m struggling with the baby, he takes no notice and continues to game and talk to his friends, he notices the baby is hungry, but won’t take the initiative to feed the baby; he will say “he’s hungry babe” and that’s my que to get my ass into gear.

I don’t know what to do anymore, I am mothering a 24 year old and an almost 3 week old.

If I think of anymore to add to this story I will comment under this post.

TIA xx

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Lol exactly like u said, u are mothering two instead of one.ur not overreacting at all. Seems like u need to have a serious convo with him or throw his Xbox away 😂

Hey xx I'd just like to say your doing right by your baby and the older your baby gets the more your baby will see just how much you do for him or her x your partner needs to sort his head out and get into father mode after all it takes 2 to make a life and I feel he needs a big wake up call and he also needs to stop taking you both for granted. Your definitely not over reacting and sometimes I feel the same way we're my partner gets to go off an do things like see his friends were I'm home 247 with both our sons even though I understand he has important things to be doing and we don't live together but his here 4 maybe 5 days a week them days his not here I feel like a single parent and even when his here it's like he don't want to be he will be on his phone or outside having a fag or when he does do the dinner he will stay in the kitchen untill it's done hardly ever comes out to see me or the kids. His obbsessed with tick tock and most days it seems he has more passion for them people online

So he's on parental leave right?

unfortunately not, he’s on annual leave plus one week unpaid due to not being in the job for a year yet

I’m so sorry to hear this 💔 I feel like a single mom with my partner here full time so I can’t imagine how you feel, it’s so difficult, my MIL who would be willing to stay a night to allow me to rest is abroad as of today so we are all alone xx

I’ve already almost binned the Xbox, he’s on it 98/99% of the day 😮‍💨

I’ve poured water down an Xbox before. I think it’s time to have a serious talk with him about partnership and both of you parenting. Also maybe some Nara smith videos maybe bring perspective

Same here somtimes I just think men do not understand what it takes to be mother 247 they thing a 3 hour bath is a break lol taking them out for the day 2 somtimes 0 times a week is a break lol they think washing some dishes and hoovering a floor is helping lol somtimes I wish I was dad get to home do me eat in peace not have to listen to fighting over toys even though they have 100s lol and I don't know if you get this too but has your partner ever said well why do you look moody all the time 🤣🤣

The “don’t start with that shit” would have had me feral. I probably would have broken the Xbox at that point. I know going crazy on him isn’t the best solution, so the next thing is communication.

You should ask to talk and express your needs and expectations. He took time off to help you and you don’t feel supported. Tell him what you need him to do. Ask him to cut back on the game. To limit it at least to 4 hours a day only etc

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

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My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

Calpol

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How would you react?