Manipulative

Anyone else ever dealt with a manipulative bd where they word their messages to make it look like you’re the issue. Mine is very manipulative I’ve tried to let him have access to our son but each time he disrespects me or our son but thinks he still deserves access to my phone. The last time he asked me if i ever thought about throwing our 4month old baby on the bed bc he was fussing while otp with him… now in txt he’s trying to say he meant hes going to wrestle him when hes older when that isnt at all what he meant. Then he’s saying im finding excfor him not to be able to talk to him… I wish i picked a better person to have a baby with so there would have been peaceful co parenting 😩🫠

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What are the recording laws where you live?

I found when I’ve installed surveillance cameras inside/outside my home they tend to be more on their Ps n Qs.

I also have a camera glasses just to have my POV documented.

Also when they make off coloured statements, ask them to explain what they mean. And keep asking until you’ve gained clarity. You can follow up with asking what it is they were trying to achieve when making this statement and regardless of intent, its impact on the present moment.

That’s called narcissistic personality… my ex does the same shit, he’ll poke and prod and then when I react I’m the crazy one. My solution has been getting him on the Our Family Wizard app or OFW, it records all calls and messages and everything. Tracks everything for you!! Even when he verbally harasses me or texts me disrespectful shit, it’s all recorded in order.

At one point I stopped texting him and emailing him and he was chopping up the emails to make it seem like something else… I truly hate my BD, but it is what it is. Ultimately if he keeps doing all of that, you can take him to court and the court will obligate yall to communicate via that app.

Per what the girly above said, regardless of the recording laws, any ring camera or surveillance camera you use outside of your house can be used because it isn’t him being recorded without his consent like if you had a hidden camera. Just let him know you got them, on camera and it’s admissible.

Also, don’t ask for explanations, limit your contact as much as possible. If he says something to trigger you limit your responses. Asking for clarification will give him more opportunity to gaslight you, and none of it matters anyways unless the initial comment of let’s say “do you ever feel like body slamming your kid on the bed” was done via text.

it gets really draining personally idc to deal with him but tried for our son but he keeps doing shyt I’ll definitely try that app

ok makes sense so it was pointless bc i definitely did try to get him to clarify yesterday 😩ugh i never really hated a person until now

It’s extremely draining… my son is 5.5 and I’m TIREDDDDD of dealing with his dad… he treats me like I did something horrible to him, meanwhile I divorced him and left him because he was an emotionally abusive asshole and I just feel he hates me for making him a dad when he didn’t want it. He wanted his green card and he was the one who trapped me.. I didn’t even want kids at the time so… I FEEL THAT!

Yea… he’s never gonna slip … he’s to egocentric for it, cause he knows it’s wrong and shit…

i tried asking him yesterday and he tried to say hes going to wrestle him when hes older🫤… thats not at all what he was saying before

im sorry about that and same in a way i wanted to be a mom i wasn’t planning on as soon but as soon as he found out i didnt want to be with him or move with him he wanted me to abort our son

I’m so so sorry! 😞 I get that… I believe that our children choose us as parents because we needed them when we got them… 🥺🥺🥺 so here we are doing our best! Kudos to you

id definitely agree i love my baby so much and thank you

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

Calpol

My mum has just given my 4 year old calpol because he asked for it. He isn’t poorly (although was last week, been fine this week) he just likes the taste of it. My mum didn’t check, didn’t ask, just gave it to him and when I’ve questioned her she said “he asked for it”. Then quizzed 4 year old who said he asked for it because it tastes nice.

How would you react?