Husband looking at other women online

you shouldn’t worry too much about it, he has a child with you and married you because he loves you, don’t let this strain or cause issues in your relationship ❤️

From experience, the more you show your insecurities by constantly asking or accusing, the more you push him away. I think unless he’s obviously cheating, spending excess time away from home that doesn’t add up or you’ve actually found proof that he’s having an affair, you should probably just let it go and put your mental health first. Always worrying “what if” won’t help anything. I do think most men will just be men and can’t help themselves but look. If that’s all he’s doing, I don’t think you should worry too much anyway! Just do you and try not to overthink everything he does, I know it’s hard! Also, most men take forever to poop. Don’t understand it but he’s not the only one and it doesn’t mean he’s just sitting there to have a chance to look at photos 🤷🏼‍♀️ mine takes anywhere from 5-30 minutes shitting lol

This is very reassuring. And trust me I’ve looked at both sides of the argument i.e if it’s him in the wrong or if I should back down. I’ve told him to stop and he said he has. My gut knows I should trust him and leave it at that. But my mind still worries haha. As you said Kate worrying about all the potential “what ifs” is stressful and only hurts me! I’m working on just focusing on myself, getting more to the core of why it makes me insecure. Basically just devout my brain energy to things that’ll benefit me. Definitely easier said than done though 😭

Girl, I’m the same way. It’s like I trust my husband so much but I will always have that little annoying voice in the back of my head trying to protect me. I don’t think he would ever cheat but it’s human nature to worry. My husband jokes that I “peed” on him (marked my territory) a long time ago lol. If it makes you feel better, one of his best friends is actually addicted to porn and sends him videos on tiktok all the time of girls. It’s not an excuse and it’s not every man, but some men really just cannot help themselves out of curiosity if it pops up. And that doesn’t sound like your husband from what you’ve said. My husbands friend is engaged and has been for a few years and he would never cheat, it’s not his character to do so and his fiancé tracks his phone anyway 😂 like I said, unless it really does become an issue where he’s made you lose all trust, I wouldn’t worry yet

If he’s just looking and not even talking to them I don’t think it’s a big deal. Have you ever looked at a man and thought “wow he’s cute”? It’s the same thing. He might be seeking it out more but he’s not really doing anything wrong unless he’s talking to them and trying to meet up to have an affair or something. Be confident in yourself and your beauty. Let him look. And know that he comes home to YOU every night.

Honestly it’s not in his personality to cheat either and I believe he would never physically cheat. And he’s such a great dad and husband otherwise. I just have to redefine what “cheating” means to me. I know it’s naive of me but I think if they’re married and love their partner then porn/ other girls videos on socials shouldn’t appeal to them. Does your husbands friends fiancé not feel hurt by her partners addiction even though he’s not physically cheating? I don’t get what they get from online that they can’t get from their woman!!

Oh she 100% isn’t ok with it BUT she is very insecure and young. He’s the only guy she’s ever dated or slept with too and they’ve lived together since she was 17 or 18 so I’m not sure if it’s just immaturity on both their parts because he is very immature for 28 years old and the porn thing would be a problem for me too. It’s all about boundaries and finding a happy medium within your relationship and within. Also, I agree having confidence in yourself too makes a huge difference. I sometimes wear something cute like a dress or something to make myself feel good and that confidence is always a turn on for my husband. When I feel good about myself, he’s not so worried about his phone and he’s all over me. If that even makes sense lol your energy will change if you stop dwelling on the “what ifs” and all the other stuff won’t matter as much. I had to get over a lot of insecurities in other relationships and the first year of ours!

Sorry for the long, rambling messages that probably don’t make sense! My toddler is being crazy so I’m having to lock my screen and finish writing when he’s independently playing again 😂

Girl, my husband and I both have expectations that we do not go looking at other people, period. I'm sad to read comments like, guys will look. Absolutely not. If my husband looks, we discuss it. There is an expectation and it requires an apology and change in habits. Protect your marriage and communicate honestly. Expect more from each other.

Your messages have helped a lot! My body changed during pregnancy, still learning to accept the new version of me. My energy depends on what I focus on so definitely time to close the “is he cheating on me” book. I’ve spent so much time overthinking I’ve got to the point where I’m more fussed about not knowing he’s cheating than the cheating itself 😅

I know the feeling of being paranoid. And i know its to do with my own insecurity.
Especially the feeling of like other girls turning him on and then he comes to me.. like I just struggle to believe that I’m the one that turns him on.
But again it’s my own insecurity, coz my husband always makes me feel beautiful .. I just have an issue of comparing myself and saying “what if” a lot..

agreed. Like to deliberately look at other females, whether online or real life, it’s not a “men thing”
They are not children where they stare innocently.

For me if he isn't 100000%loyal to me then there will be no relationship. I don't see why anybody in a relationship would need or want to look at anybody else. Regardless of if he's looking or not, he has still lied to you which isn't cool

A lot of people are telling you to almost “get over yourself” but i completely understand where you’re coming from, my ex (BD) had a porn addiction our whole relationship and I had only found out about it by snooping through his phone one time, it hurts more when they lie about it and when you ask them to stop and that it makes you uncomfortable they continue. I know people think “it’s fine” but when your partner is spending hours of his life gawking and creeping at half naked women that look nothing like you after you’ve made it clear you don’t like it, it almost feels like he’s choosing these women over you and your family.
I can’t give any amazing advice because I put up with it for 3 years until eventually my self esteem was so low I had to leave. I’ve found a man now who wouldn’t ever treat me that way and is completely infatuated with me and an amazing step dad to my daughter. Just think if this is really what you want to put up with and if you want your child to grow up seeing

I trust my husband more than anything, but I hate that he looks too. And for him it’s not intentional. It might be on his feed or something posted on someone’s story. What I can admit is that I look when a guy is on my for you page and he hates it, but we don’t want to peruse anything. Sometimes I have to put aside that “feeling” because we built such a strong connection that we both can say “look at this butt” and laugh. If that’s not yall dynamic then you have to figure out what is. Set boundaries for both of yall. Say what’s a hard no and what’s acceptable. If he doesn’t listen THEN more conversations need to be had.