Is it me or what is going on?
Ever since we became parents we’ve been arguing a lot. My husband cant take it when I tell him what to do with the now toddler. If he dresses him with a spring jacket when it’s 4degrees Celsius outside and I say something like “it’s quite cold, better with a warmer jacket” he gets defensive and feels attacked as if he is a bad father and I just can’t handle these disputes anymore. They have been daily and often a times a day and now in the past weeks less, but still happening. Now that I’m
Pregnant I fear that all of that is going to repeat itself and I don’t know what to do anymore and if I can take these type of discussions any longer. I believe that the mother (me) who is the primary ceregiver (me) and also takes care of the child when sick the most (me), simply has a stronger intuition for what the child needs, and a father has to follow the mother in the first times. Not saying dads don’t know anything, the opposite, but I just think that in most cases a good mother knows best. Anyone went through something similar and has any tips?
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I feel you so much Cameron and I do appreciate your elaborate comments. Feeling yin also with the diaper situation as we had something similar 🤣
I’ve tried to think of how I’m saying things, so he feels less attacked and say it in a more playful way, but here’s the but: I am so tired and exhausted working raising caring and now growing another baby, that on top of that to think about how I phrase things towards my grown up husband all the time, makes it so hard and makes me even more exhausted mentally. I just wish he would “man up” so I don’t have to think how to speak to him, like I do with my toddler, and he could be just like: yeah sure got it thanks. But maybe I just want too much and all that is just how it is. Their insecurities are ours to handle with, just like having another child on the hands. I just have a hard time accepting that.
Just read your third comment, you are such a strong and wise mama. Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🌞🙏🏼🧡
I would feel horrible if I was told I was parenting wrong just because it was different than how my husband parents. For context, my husband stays at home with our 2 year old and home schools the 6 & 8 yr old while I work FT. He is the primary caregiver, but that doesn't mean my opinions don't matter.
Have you discussed the fact that you believe your husband should follow your parenting opinions with him? Does he agree with that? If so, great! If not, then you have unstated expectations in your marriage, and that's a recipe for resentment and arguments.
I agree with Rachel, if imminent safety is not a concern then I believe it's not worth correcting. Noone likes to be constantly corrected and made to feel like their decisions are wrong (even if that's not how you intend it).
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