I feel toxic rant/vent/whatever

So my bd got a new gf after we broke up but I personally feel like she doesn’t deserve the new and improved version of him that he is. I waited 3 years going through all his lowest lows with him and being treated like shit because he was in a bad place which I get not having your 💩 together can make you treat people a way but I stuck by his side and supported him in the things he wanted to do to get in a better situation than the one he met me in. I eventually got fed up with how I was being treated emotionally and mentally during his process and dumped him. it got worse for a few months after but since then we stopped talking for a few months and came back and talked about what happened between us. During those talks we had I noticed so much growth has happened in him mentally, emotionally, and physically cause stuff that used to trigger him that I did just didn’t anymore and he’s significantly more peaceable (he was very argumentative while we were together) but it’s like him losing me is what changed him and now all of a sudden he has a new gf who is pretty much reaping the benefits of the work and time I put in. I feel toxic cause watching him grow has made me kind of want him back he is the father of my kids (a 1yo and a baby otw due next month) so it’s like I do kinda want to make it work with him fr plus I guess I’m a little jealous that this gf gets the him that I begged him to be while with me (cause I knew it was in him), I almost don’t care about his little gf and want to tell him that I want him back but idk if that’s a good idea or if I should even tbh. He hasn’t been showing up tbh cause he’s getting his 💩 all the way together and I’m not expecting anything from him as far as our kids tbh because of this I want him stabilized before he tries to give to us honestly so that it’s not inconsistent (cause that annoys tf out of me more than him just not being there) idrk what to do, say, or think anymore. We think about each other still so it’s not like I’m not on his mind but idk if I should even tell him what I think “idrc about your little gf situation and I want you back because I feel like I personally deserve the you that you are now and actually growing to be and we most definitely don’t have to rush back into a relationship but I do want to make our relationship work because the main reason it was the way it was I’d because he was in a bad place while we were together and I was extremely vulnerable most the relationship and it just didn’t clash well” ….idk y’all please give some advice or something cause I’m conflicted and I also dragged another guy in the situation cause he’s the one who was willing to step up and take care of me and my babies with no drama. he used to be my bsf of 8 years but he wanted to be with me and I always wanted to be with him ofc not knowing the relationship would be kind of unfulfilling. I appreciate the fact he’s been taking care of me financially, mentally, and spiritually but as time goes on I realize that it’s not a relationship that fulfills me emotionally and barely physically because of the distance and he’s working 6 days for 8-12 hours every day and we stopped talking to each other every day. He used to say I have too much negativity in my life which is true but it seems to be something that follows me in the path that I’m on in life and I just want to talk to him about it sometimes cause it’s on my mind and I want to get it off. So I feel kind of like I don’t have room to really express the things that bother me about my situation and life without sounding so negative especially when we only really talk when he’s off work it just feels like extra 💩 on his mental and idk it just doesn’t work for me to be with someone I can’t tell the ins and outs of my life to without feeling by like a burden of some sort. Idk what to do y’all fr. I got myself in a sticky situation and don’t know how to navigate my way out of it while still getting what I need for my babies but also getting what I need for myself.

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you want it all fr you can’t have your cake and eat it, im sorry but you sound real bitter, toxic & selfish. leave your bd and his gf alone don’t be a hater.. also in my opinion you should also leave your ex bsf alone you don’t deserve him, he over here tryna take care of you and your babies stepping up tryna be the MAN your sorry ass bd couldn’t be and you STILL want to go back to your bd??!! you want what you can’t have and it sucks but he’s moved on it’s time for you to do the same.

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So your just seeing what looks like him changing and doing the things he was supposed to be doing while he was with you and it’s triggering you, because your thinking “I was with you for this long and I asked you to do this and we have kids and you never did it but now you are” Your just triggered right now, recognize that. You are literally pregnant with his child so y’all just had sex what maybe 7 months ago. I HIGHLY doubt he has suddenly turned into the man you always begged him to be in the span of those 7 months 😂. Maybe he is actually working towards getting there but if you’ve been begging him to catch up and he’s only just now putting in the work, you’d want to keep it pushing anyways babe. Y’all are most likely not on the same level. Also think about the type of woman you’d have to be to be dating a man that currently has his baby’s mother pregnant again. I believe he is evenly yolked right now 😂. Acknowledge this trigger and why your feeling it and then you go ahead and

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Focus on having a healthy pregnancy and caring for your 1 year old, Eyes Forward 💛

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💯

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I agree with what trinity and shaniya both said ! Like shaniya said do you REALLY think he just changed all the sudden ? most of these guys don’t. they always make it seem like something it ain’t. obviously y’all both weren’t happy, move on there’s always better out there. Focus on making yourself better and a happy healthy pregnancy.

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I’ve been in a similar situation, me and my bd broke up and he got with someone new right away he made it seem like something it ain’t with them. And trust me I know by his actions and how he speaks about his gf towards me which I don’t care to hear so he just wastes his breath. he’s also a narcissist and manipulative asf, so I see it as he just found a new supply that don’t know how he is yet and she can keep that problem 😂✌🏼 but never have I sat here and “wanted” him back, it’s been sm more peaceful. But at first ngl like shaniya said it’s really just a trigger ESPECIALLY when they’re is a baby involved, so just recognize that and move on. I promise a lot of these men do it outta despite and rebounds. you and your babies deserve better, do better for you and them. work on yourself and build yourself up. it all gets better.

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IMHO and basing this on a past relationship of mine, he probably hasn’t changed, it’s all a front and behind closed doors he’s probably treating his new gf the same as he treated you. I’d leave them to it and focus on yourself and the kids. And hey, if he has changed, this will mean he’s a better father to your kids so you’re reaping the rewards of your patience and support whilst you were together.

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Sounds like you were the come up woman.

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