Toddler Behavior

I appreciate the solidarity! It does make me feel better to know I’m not the only one.

Hey mama, you're not doing anything wrong. You're out of the terrible twos and into threenagers. They want things to go their way, like to test your limits and boundaries are a joke.
I know at times it can feel like we are messing up but trust me, we are all in the same boat! With my 3 year old, I explain to her the rules carefully and slowly. And usually she follows. But when she doesn't, I remind her again. If she still doesn't, I just take her out of the situation or place. There's no point in sitting and logically explaining to a 3 year old because it'll just go above their head.
I'm not sure what exactly you're boy is doing but next time he does something wrong, just take the reward away.
Good luck and just know that it's a phase and won't last forever!

I’m not sure what you mean by take the reward away if there are no rewards. I definitely don’t try to reason with him, I just mean we use logical consequences like if he is too rough with a toy, we remove the toy. Is that what you mean by take the reward away?
I’ve even been reminding him of rules that he regularly breaks before we start that activity for example when we go to the sandbox I remind him before we go out that sand stays in the sandbox, no throwing sand. He nods and says he understands and then chucks a handful of sand at his sister while smiling. So then “you threw sand, now you have to take a break from the sandbox” and when he gets back in he does it again. Then we leave the sandbox completely. Thinking that next time he might not throw sand since it will make him leave the sandbox, but nope he does it again and again and again.
It leads me to believe the consequences aren’t “right” because they don’t work even after months of the same thing. But then… what

Yes that's exactly what I meant. And yes it's still normal for them to continue doing the unwanted behaviour even after a consequence....because they still lack self control to a degree.
I don't really have more advice but rather just keep doing what you're doing and wait it out. They're behaviour is going to improve with age as well. And I'm sure by the time they reach school age, there will be drastic changes in them..
Good luck!!

thank you!