AMTA for sending my MIL back home.

My mil has been visiting us for three days. It’s the third time she met my 1yo and she never even stayed for one whole day.
Today both my husband and I woke up with high fever super sick. My husband could get down the fever and take care of the baby and was active with her in the morning.
My MIL didn’t even pick the baby to go to play with and didn’t offer any help around the house. I got annoyed and asked my husband to send his mom home if she doesn’t want to help. He took his mom to take bus while the baby was asleep and she couldn’t say goodbye. My mil got upset that she didn’t see the baby before leaving. If I woke the baby up, I would have to watch her while my hubby is away and I feel like sh*t from fever and still had to do lots of routine today around the house despite feeling sick while everyone else was chill taking shower and having breakfast.
Should I have let her stay for longer?

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Nope.

If she knew you were both sick.. you’d think she would want to help out more so you both can rest.

she knew. We took her temperature too in the morning and explained why.

Then nope, her own fault… I would be irritated that someone was there while we were sick and not helping us. My in laws are like this and we aren’t even sick… we go there cause they want to see our daughter… but they all they do is sit in front of the only two fans they have not let use the fans or they don’t actually play with my daughter. It’s annoying and I’m tired of always going there to sit in a hard wooden chair for like 6hrs

Yeah u should have let her bc ultimately it’s not her job to help out although it would have been appreciated… mil requires patience 😅 I have one that has caused me so sleepless nights but I keep telling myself to pick my battles right and just b patient…

Keep it cool next time so there’s no tension. During pregnancy and postpartum our hormones or moods are very sensitive so we get defensive over a lot of stuff but then again people are annoying also 😅

and it’s not my job to entertain her when I am pregnant and barely can move with fever. Just to make things even. I have 39C all day and it wouldn’t go down. When I feel fine I smile as much as I need and don’t expect anything, just build bonds with a baby. Anyway my hubby is amazing smart man and she didn’t even realize she was asked out

I’m glad 🙂 it’s all about team work and yall made it happen smoothly

in our community

circumcision

are we circumcising our boys? or leaving that to dad?

Routines?

When did you start to introduce your baby’s routine? Do they just have a night routine or full day routine? Wondering when I should start this e.g naps at the same time everyday.

Any routines you have that work for you, please let me know them with timestamps. my baby is 6 weeks and just wondering when we should start them?

Does anyone else’s baby spit up breastmilk but not formula?

I’m seriously considering seeing a lactation consultant because I don’t understand why he can’t hold down breastmilk but can formula. I use soy formula since I’ve used it with my daughter and I’m thinking it might be due to not getting milk coming in for a few days so I had no choice but to give him formula, but now even if I take breaks in between feeding him breastmilk to burp or try to mix breastmilk and formula, he spits it up sooo much. I’m ready to just give him just formula because I’m worried about him not eating enough

I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

Complicated pp

I’m 4 weeks pp; am I the only one that has a uti and clit kinda went inward?? I’m waiting the 6 weeks but I have used a vibrator and I have a hard time feeling anything

Stroller

Hey,

Baby is getting slightly too heavy for his travel system now.

I was just wondering want strollers people recommended. Thank you