He doesn’t know I know.

I'm sooooo sorry. What an awful feeling. How did you find out? And you know for 100% he is? Has he acted any different ? I can't imagine trying to play it cool for that long, however, just think of your son. And think logistics of how will you leave and where you would go. Try to put energy in your son and your plan to leave. Get your ducks in a row. Get cash if you can unless you have separate account if you are 100% leaving. If you think you'd work it out then think how that will go. Try your best to make it til after his birthday. Ugh I'm so sorry. If you ever need to vent or talk don't hesitate to message me. 🙏💜😭 how old is your son?

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. And the timing obviously couldn’t be worse! I would recommend just thinking about your son’s little face everytime you feel like you’re about to lose on his dad. Like you said.. you don’t wanna ruin his birthday and kids can most certainly feel tension even if they don’t know what’s going on. Fake it as much as you can and try to avoid him when possible. When the time is right, get it all off your chest but until then… just think about the joy of your baby boys upcoming birthday. Once that week and day comes, you’ll be so focused on that and him being happy you prob won’t think about it as much. Until then.. I’ll be praying for you mama!

He will be 8 soon. He is literally the only reason my head is still on straight.

I am 100% sure. It’s not the first time. He did this 3 years ago and I agreed to stay and work it out but now I am done. I feel like that is why I am so angry. My mom lives close and I can go there for however long so it’s just a matter of waiting it out.

thanks girl… I need all the prayers right now.

Im so sorry your going through this. I would also hold off until at least my son’s birthday to not ruin his day. While your faking it think about how your going to do this. Get excited about the look on his face when you leave. He wont see it coming if you keep faking it for now. He will think he’s getting away with. Have him come home to you and your son gone with whatever evidence you have printed and posted all over the walls. Something fun like that. Get mad instead of sad it will help you get through this. We often let out emotions get the best of us. But the fact that you have been able to keep it in gives you a upper hand right now use it. Buy alot of stuff on his credit card for the move haha

Now that’s what I’m talking about. Make it TikTok worthy lol. Since he took you and your forgiveness for granted.. make this exit the most memorable thing he has to remember for all of 2024. Also, try not to internalize it. He clearly has issues he needs to work through. You’re an amazing mother. An amazing wife. An amazing partner and someday, if you choose to have one, you will have an amazing partner who appreciates and respects that. Praying hard for you during this time as I know it can’t be easy. But you are stronger than you think. Your son will know your strength! You are a phenomenal woman! Don’t you forget it! Be empowered by the fact that you know better now and can do better versus holding on to someone who chooses to do this to you.

You are a good mom. I don't know if I could wait. If it was my family coming to town, I would use the time to have them rally around me and build me up after something so devastating. If it was his family, I just don't know if I could keep my mouth shut about what a lying snake they raised... I definitely couldn't make it through a family weekend trip. I'd go without him. Your son will take your cues about the breakup. I remember the day my parents split up (at 11). I was only crying because my mom was crying. As long as you are confident and can explain your decision and what that means for his life in an age appropriate way, he'll be ok in the long run. Getting back into his school routine will help smooth out a little turmoil before. I wish you some peace, this fight is almost over.

I am so sorry! I gave up on men after leaving my bd. Please try to remember that you are NOT the problem! & you’re an amazing mama for putting your son first. It’s going to be painful to endure, but I believe in you! Take this time to create a plan & gather whatever you need. Honestly, the only advice I have is to try to avoid him as much as possible (find reasons to not be home) until you can end it. I promise you - he’s going to CRUMBLE when you do.

If you really want to last until after the birthday you gotta put on your Oscar worthy acting. Just do everything you would do if you didn't know. Chances are he'll feel a slight change in your attitude but always deny it with a smile.

Oh girl this is so hard! It’s so hard to keep it together and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You’re such an amazing mom for not wanting to ruin your son’s bday party. I really have no suggestions other than maybe meditation doing some yoga? Maybe something physical that way you can exert your energy that way, I get about the ungluing and wanting to best them in the head, but take a deep breathe seems like you have a plan now just stick to it. Sending you lots of love ❤️

Are you all set to be able to leave? Do you have your own income? A place to go long term? (I’m guessing you might not fancy living with your mum for ever) Money?
Do you have proof of his cheating or anything else to help you with the divorce?
If not, work on that, put all your focus on getting everything ready to make the move as smooth as possible for you and your son, it would be a good distraction.
Any time you feel like you are getting angry or frustrated and might snap, focus on your final goal, take a deep breath and try to visualise what your new life will look like and how keeping your calm now is soooo worth it!
You deserve so much better than this poor excuse of a man

Thank you guys so much for your support and suggestions. I’m definitely thinking some meditation or something could help. I am also getting in touch with a therapist that I used to see for an appointment. I really hesitated posting this but I am glad i did.

For those who have asked.
Yes … I am 100% positive that he is cheating. Of course I had to do a little investigating but sure enough that’s what is happening.

Yes I work… only part time so I will have to up my hours but I am not jobless. And my mom is retired and will help with my son until I can save enough to get my own place. We have savings and retirement that will have to be delt with but for now I am going to be fine. I have a plan and my mom is on board.

So cross your fingers you don’t see me on the news! 🤞🏻… ha!

In the words of the color purple “it ain’t worth it Ms Celie” lol. I am so glad you have your mom close for support. Remember to think about your son and when it all comes out once he’s old enough to understand he will know his mother dealt with it with respect and maturity overall. He’s always going to love his dad so do anything that would take away from that in his eyes. You got this mama! His loss, your gain! You’re going to have a great life after this is said and done.. I am speaking it into existence and manifesting it for you.

Oh girl I'm so sorry. We are always the ones putting our children first and it seems they never even think about it at all. You're a good mama. Hang in there.

Remember there is no wine in jail!!
Good luck 😭💪🏻

I say put urself first . U can still celebrate ur kid in different way. And ur family is coming so it will be great for them to be there for emotional support

I would sit with your husband and explain. Say that you know what he's doing, you are done and you are waiting until after your son starts school. Explain to him that you want to be as normal as possible for your sons sake but you will not be taking him back. Just don't talk bad about your husband in front of your son. At the end of the day that's still his dad. When he's older he can know what happened and make his own opinion on his dad but it's not your place for you to put opinions in his head. I hope the best for you and your son.

How are you holding up?

you are the kindest person to check in on me. I am proud to say we have made it through the weekend. He had a lot of work to catch up on on Saturday so we didn’t really even have to be around each other… yay me! I can also say the rage filled fantasies are getting fewer and fewer. I have started thinking of the life we will have when this is over and how I am going to keep my son busy.

My husband doesn’t seem to notice anything at all is wrong… and neither does my son. I have updated my resume and looked into going back to school maybe. The options seem overwhelming. But I am on track my plan is coming a long. My dad and step mom will be here Friday so that is the next thing I am aiming for now.

One day at a time.

You go girl! You are stronger than you probably thought you were. Going back to school and making a new plan can be tough, but you can do it! Let it inspire your son by telling him to sit down and do homework like mommy! Go after all your goals and dreams girl.. you MOREE than deserve it!!

Glad your dad and stepmom are coming in. Stay focused on the end goal. You’ve got this! Countdown until little man’s amazing birthday! Keep your head up queen

Hey girl hope all is well! I know you posted incognito but been thinking of you! 🖤🖤

It’s been a week. I hope little man’s 8th birthday was or is great. Pray you’re doing well mentally and emotionally also.

you are so kind to check in on me. It warms my soul to know that there are such good people out there.

As for the last week or so I’m doing ok. Some days are obviously better than others and I could make a whole other post about the random things that have happened since I found out.

I got hit in the face at work with a light and it knocked my tooth out. Now I need an implant or a bridge.

My husband had 2 renters move out this month so he is stressed.. ha… which I think is funny.

I got a side job at a race venue in a few weeks so that’s cool but the money will have to go towards my tooth. I’m considering riding it out until my tooth is paid for but that could be months.

My son started school today and his birthday went great so I am officially past both of the major events I was most concerned about.

My sister in law moves this weekend so that will keep us busy at least Saturday and part of Sunday.

Until then I’ll just over here planning my escape.

Aww!! I’m so sorry to hear about your tooth. I fell a few years ago while skating and broke both of front two teeth so I actually have a bridge implant. It’s painless once it’s in but definitely not cheap so I pray you can work to get it done sooner rather than later.

I’m so glad to hear little man’s birthday went well and that he is headed to school which I’m sure gives you a little relief. I pray he has a phenomenal school year.

As far as the situation goes, you are doing great mama! Keep planning, keep strategizing, and know that things will work out in your favor. Take it one day at a time as that is all you can do! So glad to hear back from you and know you’re doing okay!!