Daddy vs Mommy’s Girl

Hey mamas,

So me and my child’s father was having a conversation earlier where he feels like our daughter is a daddy’s girl because she cries when he drops her off. Sometimes I feel like she is because he’s more of the fun parent and I’m more of a structured and routine mom.

In order for me to have order I have to have structure and balance or I feel out of place. Ofcourse I told him “yeah I definitely see that” when he said he hate to say it but she might be a daddy’s girl.

But I also know it’s because she feels like she’s never gonna see him again and she has told me multiple times that when he leaves it breaks her heart because he left her.

I did tell him I thank him that he’s in her life because when you grow up not having that, you want that for your children.

I end up having to reassure her that she will see him again when she cries uncontrollably and it become hard to get her to calm down. So I reassure her that he will be back and he won’t be gone forever.

This is the way his schedule is set up. He gets her every first, third and 5th weekend of every month due to how the court has it set up.

Before then he was hardly getting her so for him to have a schedule to go by helps tremendously because before then he was hardly seeing her.

For me (the mom who’s more structured and routine), I feel bad because I’m not as fun as I want to be with her even though I have so much other things on my plate and I’m the one that has her the most so everything falls on me.

I spoke with my counselor about this previously because I feel like he’s more of the fun parent and I’m more structured and that does bother me sometimes but I can’t change how I parent but I know my time is gonna come where we will get to do more fun things even while still maintaining my structured parenting.

Can anyone give me any advice? Any advice would be very helpful!

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

He has no respect for anything to do with me.

Husband and I decided to separate 3 days ago. I've been sleeping on the floor in the kids room, and we both have to stay in the same apartment for a while. He wont stop pushing little things and I am reaching my limit. Photos in comments