My son doesn’t look like me

Hi ladies, I’m having a hard time I recently gave birth two weeks ago and my son doesn’t look like me at all….. I’m mixed( black and white)and my husband is white. Our baby is blond blue eyes and literally no melanin. I just struggling kinda with a connection I feel like and people keep making comment “he’s so blonde “ but I feel like that’s not the comment they are really making. One of my sisters friends even made a comment “ he’s so white” I’m just in my feels about it I love my son I just feel weird because he doesn’t even look like he came from me

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I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I'm white and my baby's dad is white, so this isn't something that I'm struggling with. I've heard that black babies are typically born a couple shades lighter than they will actually be, so maybe your son will get darker. It's also possible that his hair will get darker as he gets older. His eyes may also not end up being blue. Babies aren't born with a lot of melanin in general, so even babies who will have brown eyes look like they have blue eyes. My ex and I both have brown eyes (mine are very dark), but my daughter looks like she has blue eyes. It very well could change in the next few months, though. Does your son have any facial features that are similar to yours? Is his nose a similar shape to yours or something? I'm sure it's hard to not feel like your baby looks at all like you.

He will darken when he goes out into the sun. Give it some time. I bet he's beautiful

All my babies have been white and I'm mixed as well and they have white father, but it never bothered me cause ik that little one was created by me! I wish you luck connecting with your LO! Just remember YOU were home for 9 months and that's all the baby knows, the baby doesn't know color, just love!

My oldest son is mixed race. While he has facial features of mine, people always say how he looks just like his dad bc of his darker skin tone (I am very pale white). He is 9 and it still bothers me sometimes when people make comments. That being said, my son is a total Mama's boy and our bond is so close despite who he looks more like.

Im mixed black and white only my 2nd came out tan my 1st came out looking white (she's 5 now and is much more tan now) my 3rd came out red as a tomato (she's 1 now and has taned over summer) my recent baby came out like my 1st all mixed babies come out looking so different but they're all beautiful in their own ways 🥰

My daughter was born with blue eyes and they slowly turned brown by 8-9 months and stayed brown. She was also born with very dark hair and it’s now dirty blond. All I’m saying is, your baby might look very different in a few months. Give it time!
And I can totally relate to the unfair feeling when your baby doesn’t look like you. You were the one doing all the work for 9 months!

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Nursery lunches?

My daughter is nearly 10 months old and starting nursery next month. I want to send my daughter in with lunches so I know shes eating healthy meals but I'm honestly so lost as to what to put in her little bento lunch box that will keep till lunch time and doesnt need reheating. Ive been doing loads of baby led weaning at home, but I tend to make it fresh or pull stuff from the freezer I've previously made and defrost and reheat.
Could you show me some of the lunches you've been giving your baby? Or have you been been letting the nursery deal with the food?

Resentment and placing blame on partner

Firstly, please don’t judge me - I’m aware all my thoughts aren’t rational and I do already feel badly about them

I’m finding myself becoming easily frustrated, annoyed, and placing a lot of blame on my partner for many things. Now I’d get it if he was rubbish but he’s not - he has the baby straight away when he gets home from work, he lets me get ready and shower before he goes to work, he pitches in with the chores and gives me any time I ask for off. He doesn’t go out loads either.

I do a lot of the mental labour - realising we need more of and purchasing clothes, milk, groceries, deciding dinner, cooking, cleaning, thinking about what baby needs, etc.

However I just find myself annoyed and blaming him for so many things I find difficult. I know this isn’t fair, but it’s almost like I’m angry that he’s finding it easy and I’m not. Angry if I’ve just got the baby to sleep and he doesn’t think and closes doors to loudly. Angry when he doesn’t dress baby warm enough, or when he puts him in a car seat with a coat on. When he forgets a blanket or doesn’t wash his hands and plays with him. When hes snoring and I’ve just got the baby to drift off.

We have had many conversations and he has tried to take loads off me but it never feels like enough for me to stop being annoyed with him.

Am I experiencing some sort of post partum mental health issues? I find myself upset and crying a lot. any advice would help.

Parenting 24/7 is harder than going to work full time?

I’m having a debate with my partner as he’s done nothing to help since. Our 14 month old was born, I’ve done it all alone all day and all night. He gets a break when he comes in from work all night I never get a break
He try’s to tell me it’s harder going to work full time 5 days a week than parenting ALONE 24/7?
What do you think

THIS DUMB 🍑 MF

LET ME BREAK IT DOWN 🤣🤣

THIS MAN DRIVES AN ELECTRIC CAR WHERE HE CAN PLUG HIMSELF IN (NORMALLY DOES TO DO DOORDASH ETC)
AND IT HAD A SPOT TO WIRELESSLY CHARGE
SOME HOW WITH 4 HOURS OF WORKING HE DIDN'T EVEN MAKE 20 BUCKS TO WASH CLOTHS ANOTHER RED FLAG

TWO NIGHTS AGO
HE CLAIMS TO GO OUT TO WORK. HANGS UP ON ME MID CONVERSATION 👀👀

4 HOURS PAST I'M GETTING SLEEPY STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM
IT'S LIKE 1:30AM I TEXT HIM NIGHT I'M MAD CONFUSED ALMOST AN HOUR LATER I ANT HEARD FROM HIM SO I CHECK MY TEXT.
THE SHIT SAYS "PHONE OFFLINE" AND SHOWS THE TIME FRAME MY TEXT DIDN'T SEND
SO I START CALLING TO CONFIRM CAUSE I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIM. HE'S BEEN IN 2 CAR ACCIDENTS 👀 NEITHER HIS FAULT

SO I GET FRANTIC MY GUY

3:14 ROLLS AROUND I CALL AGAIN SURPRISE HE PICKS UP.
CLAIMS HIS PHONE DIED WHILE HE'S HANGING OUT AND HAVING A VERY "GOOD" CONVERSATION. HE WON'T TELL ME WHERE HE'S AT OR WHO WITH. MIND YOU THIS MAN CHEATED ON ME WHILE I WAS 33 WEEKS PREGNANT.

SO AT THIS POINT I'M PISSED OFF AND I TELL HIM I'M HANGING UP CAUSE I LOOK STUPID BEING WORRIED.

HE TURNS AROUND WHILE NOT BEING AROUND THIS CHICK AND FINALLY TELLS ME ALL THE DETAILS.

BTW YES WE MIGHT BE POLY BUT HE'S POSTED HIMSELF AS SOLO POLY WHILE LIVING WITH ME!! HE THINKS I'M. STUPID WITH ALSO THIS SNEAKY SHIT.

IF I WAS TO DO WHAT HE'S DOING HE'D LOOSE IT.
BUT I'M ABOUT TO GO OUTSIDE!! CAUSE YOU PLAYING IN MY FACE

What would u do? What should i do

So to try to explain this in the best way possible I have a very small apartment.
I opened my back door which leads directly to the laundry room of the building. Lately, I started bringing my son in the laundry room with me because he bangs on the door and tries to get out.

Today I opened the door to get my stuff out of the dryer. I saw I guess my neighbor putting stuff in the washer. It’s a very tight space so I closed the door and was planning on going back after he leave instead of crowding up the space with the baby. Plus I was in shorts and had no bra on, it was an older man.

I latched my door with the dead lock as I usually do so that I do not get locked out and I just left it that way without thinking about it.

I turned my back walk maybe about 5-7steps. My apartment is barely 15 steps front to back.
Turn around. Realize my baby is GONE he’s only 16 months!

I start yelling for him. I approach the door and I hear my son laughing…
The man had opened my door to lure my son in the laundry room with him without me knowing!!!!!!!

They were playing 🤯

He was there for no more then 20-30 seconds if that. It happened so fast, he doesn’t speak good English he’s polish
My door usually slams loud when closed, so this was done quietly…..

When I discovered that the man was with my son, I was trying to simply take my kid back in the house, but he continued on playing and I was yelling at my son that he shouldn’t be wondering without me.

No, first off I know for a fact, my son did not open the door number one. It’s very heavy and number two. He doesn’t know how to open doors yet.

And I asked the man straight out did my son open the door and he said no I did.

My son could get the door to open maybe an inch, I know that. So he must have done that and the man just decided to open it and bring my son with him.

I’m so outraged. Annoyed, uncomfortable. I live alone just me and my son.

What do I do?

I don’t know if he is maybe a visitor, I see his car sometimes but usually it’s another person who looks like him with a different car. Maybe my neighbors dad is my best bet.

Anyway. What should I do? Should I bring this to management. Should I approach my neighbor and figure out exactly who that was?

Thanks ladies wish me luck

Your best tips, please

8 months pp and so soo loving being a mama but constantly feeling like “ i should be better at this by now”…guess i just wanted to vent here. I feel like im hardly ever showered, always smell myself, like im never “cute” around my husband anymore..he’s great in so many ways but always gaming when im stuck in our room breastfeeding her (which is OFTEN) and i feel like any time i want to try to sneak out of the bed once she finally falls asleep, he’s gaming w his buddies and I have to put the monitor in front of him so he knows im doing something requiring his help.
I KNOW I can’t be the only one experiencing this and that’s prob why im here rambling on this app; prob wondering how many of you have been in / are currently in my shoes and if you have any tips on how to successfully work through these things. A) how do you manage to find time to take care of yourself B) will I ever feel sexy again lol C) have you had a successful talk w your man ab his lack of boundaries when it comes to gaming too much ?
He’s the only one working rn (I quit my job a month ago) and he travels for work so it feels like maybe wrong of me to mention to him that he should be taking on more of our baby responsibilities when he’s the one making the income.

He’s GREAT with her…he’s the “fun” parent and they love each other so much; it’s really sweet to see how they play and interact w each other but it does feel like I have to bring her to him and be like “please hold her I literally need a break so I can pee” (she’s such a Velcro baby and I love that but it gets exhausting!)