MIL driving me crazy!!

I don’t know if I’m overeating and being too sensitive.
My MIL is driving me crazy since I’ve had my baby… she was round yesterday afternoon and I picked my baby up from his Moses basket and greeted him by saying something like “oh there’s mommy’s boy” and she took him off me straight away and said “no he’s nanny’s little man” like wtf 🤷🏼‍♀️
She’s made little comments here and there that have really wound me up. For example, a couple of weeks ago my partner was on FaceTime to my MIL and I was trying to comfort my lb because he was really unsettled and was crying and she said to my partner “What’s SHE (emphasis on she) doing to him?” Like it was me causing him to be upset or if I was hurting him or something. My partner explained that he’d been unsettled and it wasn’t anything anyone had done and she turned round and said “well he just needs his nanny”.
She also makes comments when she’s round and my partners holding him like “awww look how he’s looking at you. You’re clearly his favourite”
She messages me when my partners at work (she has my partner on find my iPhone so she knows when he’s at work) to ask how my baby is but doesn’t message me when my partners at home or has a day off! I don’t know if I’m being paranoid but I feel like she’s trying to check up on me.
I’ve explained how I feel to my partner but he defends his mom and says things like “oh you know what my mom is like” and “she’s not checking up on you she’s seeing is you need anything” but she doesn’t ask if i need anything and feels like she’s interrogating me about my day to see what we’ve been doing. I get it’s her first grandchild but still…
Makes me feel like I’m doing a really crappy job at being a mom and I’m only 6 weeks pp. I don’t know if I’m more sensitive at the fact that my mom passed away a few months before I got caught pregnant as well but my MIL really is grinding on me now.

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I’d be annoyed at the comments. I would either say something myself or ask my husband to talk to her. I wouldn’t stand for it. I don’t think you are being over sensitive. Also nearing 6 weeks PP

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I feel like that behaviour will only get worse. Stand your ground. And you shouldn’t have to defend yourself, your partner should be in your corner. I personally would get it all out there, there’s so much to do, you don’t need this hassle too

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Losing your mum is awful and not having her here at this special and incredibly hard time for yourself must be so so so hard so definitely try to cut yourself some slack. You’re doing absolutely amazingly, the best but hardest job in the whole world so remember how incredible you are. In regards to In laws- I defo know how you feel. I have to challenge myself sometimes when I feel irritated. I now do a thing where I ask myself if I’d be as annoyed at the comment if it came from a member of my own family and if the answer is no then I try to let it slide. At the end of the day, we don’t know your in laws so it’s really hard to interpret how the comments are being made. Just know I FULLY understand the in law grind 😂 Your feelings are valid. Do you have anyone else close to you that you can run stuff past to vent? If you’re looking to exchange some in law stories I have a few (biggest was recently baby related 😂) so feel free to send me a message haha. Sometimes you just need to share

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I feel you. Mine always takes my baby straight from my arms and I don’t get him back until it’s time to leave. Shes fed him wrong multiple times. And always makes comments. I can also feel she has an issue with the fact i had to have a c section (last minute emergency) with some of the comments she makes. It’s annoying because you feel it isn’t your place to say anything. My MIL has never been the biggest fan of mine so I never want to say anything to her even though how she acts most the time is not nice and makes me really anxious and upset. Have you spoke with your partner about this properly? See if he will speak with her and tell her she needs boundaries. But if you feel comfortable enough speaking up to her yourself then 100% do that!

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My MIL also does this! Acts like my baby is hers and snatches her out of my arms and insists on coming over all the time! Never made the effort to meet me in the 1 and a half years I was living here, but suddenly now baby is here she keeps insisting it's her right to be a regular part of her life.
MILs really are a piece of work.
Undermining, rude, bitter, and trying to lay claim to your baby.

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that's kind unfair to say all MILs are like that! As a mum to boys I worry because of comments like yours saying to hate all MILs. My sister has a lovely mother in-law who's more than willing to help and visit her!

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If your partner is not listening then talk to her.

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I also think this is really interesting and something I have definitely thought about. I think it’s really hard on the mother of the father (aka the mother in law). I feel like it’s common place for the MIL to feel pushed out when baby comes as mum tends to look to her own mother for comfort and support. and sometimes the MIL can push boundaries in an attempt to secure that connection? For me personally I think my in laws are just a factor that I can’t personally control 😂 I feel more comfortable with my family and therefore nip things in the bud with them rather than let them become an issue or irritant whereas we don’t feel we can always with in laws. I completely agree that the idea of vilanising your MIL should stop though. It really does depend on the individual family dynamic and relationship I think. I think any mil and dil can have beautiful relationships if they are worked on x

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@Samantha My comment was a bit generalised I admit. Sure it's not always the case but sadly a lot of the time it is.

When did I tell people to hate MILs?

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you implied that people should hate MIL and see them as Villains by saying "MILd really are a piece of work. Undermining, rude, bitter and trying to lay claim to your baby"

I really hope you have a daughter not a Son because then you'd become a MIL!

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what’s my MIL’s excuse when I don’t have my mom to turn to?xx

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@Anna I'm lucky in the fact my own MIL doesn't really have an interest. She's too busy working and taking care of rich people's babies to even notice I've had a baby.

I would have loved to make more of a connection with her so that saddens me.

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Inco, try to talk to her directly. And maybe try to make more of a connection to her.

Say things like. I'd love you to help with the baby but I want to try and figure things out on my own. Or ask her what worked for her when raising her boy.

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It must be an extra extra hard time for you. If you feel able to hash it out with your husband then I think defo do that at a time when you feel calm in order to avoid your partner feeling attacked and then he can really understand how it’s making you feel and you can get a plan together as a team. Alternatively as I said, feel free to message me for a vent. Sometimes I find sharing my annoyance in a safe space where I can really let out my frustrations and say exactly what I want to say helps me! Either way, your feelings are your feelings and they are valid. Definitely either address them or find a way to vent. I know first hand they fester and can cause so much anxiety! 🫶🏻

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My MIL is the same, she makes weird comments which she must know are very strange so I understand where you're coming from x

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My MIL is like this too, she’s so controlling

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Sahm .. the dad role .

Hi!! I’m 2 months pp. and I really would like your opinion on this situation if you have a moment.
So I have always had a job before the baby, and my bd .. not really. But 2 weeks before he was born he scored a really good job and I was able to be a sahm. Which is what I wanted , and I’m unsure if it’s still what I want or if the situation just isn’t right.
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I’m just wondering if there is anything I could say to get some type of help out of him.
I tried reaching out to his mother but honestly his hole family is oblivious to his behaviour.

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